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Old 08-06-2012, 08:58 AM
 
Location: NY metro area
7,796 posts, read 16,420,574 times
Reputation: 10808

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I've never asked a guy out. I'm rather shy and reserved.

Back in college I made the mistake of indirectly "approaching" a guy once by leaving a note with my phone number on his truck. He kept staring at me one night a bar while with his friends. My friends kept telling me to talk to him because he was interested, but I felt his stares were being misinterpreted. Long story short, a so called "friend" set me up for failure by encouraging me to leave the note knowing fully well he was seeing one of the girls in her dorm. He called me anyway prior to me knowing that. He called again and our 2nd call didn't go as well when I questioned him on why he was calling me when he was in a relationship. It was actually a really childish scenario on his part (and his girlfriend's) and I swore I would never make that mistake again. (Obviously I'm shortening the story.)
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Old 08-06-2012, 10:55 AM
 
18,836 posts, read 37,423,021 times
Reputation: 26469
I have done it, and it does not set the tone well for the rest of the relationship...not a good idea...
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Old 08-06-2012, 11:08 AM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,226,727 times
Reputation: 29088
Quote:
Originally Posted by rckgrl View Post
What was the outcome and would you do it again?

Men how do you really feel about this?
Two or three times. I can't say I recommend it. And before anyone gets up in my face with the whole money thing, that has nothing to do with it. If I asked a man out and he accepted, I would expect to plan and pay for the entire thing.

The reason I can't recommend it is because I firmly believe that many (not all, but many) men of my generation don't appreciate what comes to them too easily, and would take such forwardness as more than the mere interest I would intend. They'd think I was after, or easy for, sex. If I were in my 20s, I might have another perspective.

That's me, Lilacosaurus.
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Old 08-06-2012, 11:09 AM
 
7,372 posts, read 14,698,653 times
Reputation: 7047
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll Eyes View Post
i know that's the point. just saying women shouldn't bother if they aren't attractive, the guy isn't going to be any 'nicer' about it simply because they're being asked.

it's okay for men to approach women regardless of their looks but it's not okay for women to do the same.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder so how do you know if you are attractive to that person or not without asking?
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Old 08-06-2012, 11:10 AM
 
145 posts, read 326,365 times
Reputation: 204
I've asked a lot of men out. Never asked one to officially be my bf, but I am often the one to make a first move, or progress to a date scenario.
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Old 08-06-2012, 11:28 AM
 
3,452 posts, read 4,628,505 times
Reputation: 4985
A nice smile or a friendly hello is enough to get most guys attention.
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Old 08-06-2012, 11:50 AM
 
Location: FL
2,392 posts, read 5,731,815 times
Reputation: 1277
Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman View Post
A nice smile or a friendly hello is enough to get most guys attention.
How is that? There was a thread last week in which a few women complained that men take women smiling as a sign of anything other than their being friendly. That is the reason why so called subtle hints don't really work.

Sure, there is a woman that smiles at me every time she sees me and sure she does the sexy, flirty, five finger wave & that has gotten my attention. But as we all know, some women like the attention & so they flirt without any caution.
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Old 08-06-2012, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Reno, NV
5,988 posts, read 10,489,536 times
Reputation: 10809
Women have asked me out many times over the years. Several held no interest for me so I politely declined, several I dated a while until we decided we weren't sufficiently compatible, three became life-long friends, one became a long-term relationship, and the last I married.
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Old 08-06-2012, 11:56 AM
 
Location: Colorado
659 posts, read 1,016,664 times
Reputation: 507
I asked out my Dentist when I was under the influence of laughing gas. We actually dated for a few months after that. lol
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Old 08-06-2012, 12:18 PM
 
3,452 posts, read 4,628,505 times
Reputation: 4985
Quote:
Originally Posted by he's so hott View Post
How is that? There was a thread last week in which a few women complained that men take women smiling as a sign of anything other than their being friendly. That is the reason why so called subtle hints don't really work.

Sure, there is a woman that smiles at me every time she sees me and sure she does the sexy, flirty, five finger wave & that has gotten my attention. But as we all know, some women like the attention & so they flirt without any caution.

What works for one man may not work for the others. I personally think that there is nothing wrong with a woman asking a guy out.

However, as a MAN, I prefer to do the initiating. Ladies can make this process so much easier by just giving a smile, making eye contact, and placing themselves in a position to be approached by the guy. If a REAL MAN is interested he will definitely let you know.


It's not rocket science. Nobody wants to have to CHASE AFTER a love interest. Just make yourselves available and approachable.
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