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I put the whole subject title in quotations because there's probably some disagreement among us as to what truly constitutes TELLING a woman HOW TO dress. This disagreement is actually the subject. I was inspired by another thread involving a different scenario than the one I'll create here:
Boy meets girl.
Girl's dressed conservatively, let's say jeans and a plain T-shirt, neither of them very tight-fitting.
Boy asks girl out.
Girl says yes.
When boy picks girl up for date, she's wearing shorts that come up above mid-thigh and showing considerable cleavage.
The question: Is there any way a man can broach the subject of his date's attire making him uncomfortable, that is appropriate? Or is any mention, no matter how tactful, offensive or a sign he's a "controlling" type?
If you do think there's a right and wrong way to bring it up, please share your opinion.
Bonus question: Are the first few dates "too early" for him to mention it at all?
What about instead of taking her out to a nice sit down, white cloth, candlelight and great wine restaurant - take her out to a place that is suitable for her outfit?
You might even make a comment like: uhm... I made a reservation in a ( name an elegant place), but I think we will go to ( sport bar or fast food ) instead...
Maybe she would get "the message" ...
What about instead of taking her out to a nice sit down, white cloth, candlelight and great wine restaurant - take her out to a place that is suitable for her outfit? ( like a sport bar or fast food?? )
Maybe she would get "the message" ...
Okay, for you, let's assume I said "fancy dress that comes up above mid-thigh and shows considerable cleavage"
If you meet someone and they are dressed a certain way, you have no business whatsoever telling them to dress differently. Either accept them as they are or move right along.
If you meet someone and they are dressed a certain way, you have no business whatsoever telling them to dress differently. Either accept them as they are or move right along.
In this hypothetical, the woman's dressed conservatively when they meet and far from it when they go on their first date...
Boy meets girl.
Girl's dressed conservatively, let's say jeans and a plain T-shirt, neither of them very tight-fitting. Boy asks girl out.
Gpicks girl up for date, she's wearing shorts that come up above mid-thigh and sirl says yes.
When boy howing considerable cleavage.
The parts underlined and italicized are where the errors in communication occured. Boy should have made suggestion to girl on the location, planned activity and type of date. Girl knowing what was planned, would have dressed accordingly.
Next time when you plan a date, tell the girl what you have planned and she WILL dress accordingly.
The parts underlined and italicized are where the errors in communication occured. Boy should have made suggestion to girl on the location, planned activity and type of date. Girl knowing what was planned, would have dressed accordingly.
Next time when you plan a date, tell the girl what you have planned and she WILL dress accordingly.
Let's assume they had planned to just walk around the park (fair weather, nothing she would consider too hot for jeans, but nothing so cold as to be a reason she can't wear shorts) okay?
Okay! Imagining that a woman has no practical reason (including "this is more suitable for that place", etc.) to wear either revealing or conservative attire, that she just likes to wear short shorts every now and then, THEN what do you think?
The parts underlined and italicized are where the errors in communication occured. Boy should have made suggestion to girl on the location, planned activity and type of date. Girl knowing what was planned, would have dressed accordingly.
Next time when you plan a date, tell the girl what you have planned and she WILL dress accordingly.
^^^ Or he can hope that she will dress accordingly, and if not - then HE should get the message.
I agree with Lao. She should be told what were his plans for the first date.
But then... if that were me, I would ask, or dress nice but more conservative and take it from there.
Quote:
"fancy dress that comes up above mid-thigh and shows considerable cleavage"
A fancy dress for a walk in the park?? It looks to me that she wants to advertise everything what she has for sale...
I voted before I read the opening post, which turned out to be a little different than I expected. I would never, ever tell someone how to dress. However, if she were dressed in a manner that made me very uncomfortable, although I can't imagine what that would be, I'd might say something. This is assuming I liked her enough to want another date in the first place. But I certainly wouldn't tell her to dress a certain way.
The thing is, I'm trying to imagine what a woman (at least, the type I'd want to date in the first place) might wear that could possibly make me uncomfortable. I've seen women wearing clothing I thought was inappropriate for the setting/occasion, but they were never women I'd have any interest in dating in the first place.
I have to be very direct with this one. I'm not fond of the women I date to dress "racy" if you will. I'd have to make mention of it during the planning and getting to know each other stage. There is no other way to dress on a date but as a lady and gentleman, no, that does not mean "dressing up" but it does mean having a sense of class and dignity.
I will not sugar coat this one.
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