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I am a woman and have been with my boyfriend going on 3 years now. We live together, have for a long time, and he has two kids who we have half the time. He is significantly older than me, which never really bothered me as he is very mature. He is a great guy. He is loving, affectionate, and treats me right. My problem is that for a while now I have been feeling almost a complete loss of affection. I don't find myself wanting to kiss him, hug him, or really even have sex much. I don't feel interested in him much and most of the time I don't even like to talk to him about certain things. He has noticed too. He has asked why Im not into him much anymore and why Im not affectionate. I don't think it is that I don't like him or love him. Because of I love him so much! I don't want to end the relationship at all...after all we are planning on being married soon. Does anyone know? Is what Im feeling a relationship crusher or am I just in a stage? Maybe there are some things I can do help myself want to be romantic and affectionate again like I used to be?
Are you still attracted to other guys sexually? I'm thinking if you aren't attracted to *anyone* then it may be a medical issue of some kind. However, if you are attracted to other men but just not your boyfriend that is obviously a larger problem. Have you become bored? Is there something he could do for you that would bring the excitement back a little?
I think its normal for attraction to fall off a little in a long term relationship--but it shouldn't evaporate completely.
Are you having any health issues? Stress-related issues, i.e. work or stepkids or family?
This is a concern because love isn't enough. If you're feeling this way before you're even married, you need to explore and find the root cause of why you're feeling the way you feel because it will not get better, only worse.
barkomatic....thanks for the response. Well my boyfriend is definitely an attractive man in my opinion. And yes I find other men attractive...not in a tempting way, just in general as I do like men LOL. Im wondering what kinds of medical issues would cause this lack in sensual/sexual emotions and distance I am feeling. Also, I would imagine maybe he could do something that would help excite things for me a little more. Im not sure though. Do you have any suggestions/ideas? And I don't mean just in the bedroom. I will also look into some ideas for this too. I believe stress definitely could be a factor for many various reasons. Also, we are both working out and getting back into shape (not that we are obese) just to be healthier. But I imagine this could cause some cloudy moods on my part without me even realizing it. I always hear about people losing the "spark" they had in the beginning of the relationship or wanting this to be like "the good old days" LOL. Well Im going to come up with some things that maybe I could try to help.
You could be low on testosterone. Go see a dr, tell them whats going on and get bloodwork done. Usually some pills/creams can be prescribed and it will take care of the problem. GL
Low thyroid function and depression can cause both of those issues. I've had post-partum depression in the past and have Hashimoto's (hypothyroid) now. Without treatment both issues made me feel completely disconnected from my partner and unmotivated for any kind of affection. There was a stage where I could care less if we ever touched eachother or had sex again...it did nothing for me.
Hormonal birth control can cause these issues too. Have you recently started new BC or switched methods? I was on the Nuva Ring and that KILLED my sex drive and desire.
I am a woman and have been with my boyfriend going on 3 years now. We live together, have for a long time, and he has two kids who we have half the time. He is significantly older than me, which never really bothered me as he is very mature. He is a great guy. He is loving, affectionate, and treats me right. My problem is that for a while now I have been feeling almost a complete loss of affection. I don't find myself wanting to kiss him, hug him, or really even have sex much. I don't feel interested in him much and most of the time I don't even like to talk to him about certain things. He has noticed too. He has asked why Im not into him much anymore and why Im not affectionate. I don't think it is that I don't like him or love him. Because of I love him so much! I don't want to end the relationship at all...after all we are planning on being married soon. Does anyone know? Is what Im feeling a relationship crusher or am I just in a stage? Maybe there are some things I can do help myself want to be romantic and affectionate again like I used to be?
I feel this way towards my husband, at leat 75% of the time.
You could be low on testosterone. Go see a dr, tell them whats going on and get bloodwork done. Usually some pills/creams can be prescribed and it will take care of the problem. GL
Be careful with this, it can raise your cholesterol.
Definitely get your testosterone level checked out. Also check with your doctor on any medication you are taking that may have a certain side effect.
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Thanks!
