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I have been in love with a good friend for a long time now. She has recently got out of a long relationship a few weeks ago.I have been hanging out with her a lot recently but she hasn't really seemed interested which has made me upset as she seemed nice and what I would consider being maybe interested weeks before her breakup. We generally talk all throughout the day about what is going on around us and usually keep in touch pretty frequently.
Spending months being "in love with" and pining over a girl who is unavailable is weak. Think of how many other girls you could have hooked up with during that time if you weren't so hung up on that one.
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So I have brought up my feelings with her a few times before but I don't feel like I was ever given a clear answer. She has never told me flat out no. The other day I pretty much came to the conclusion that she most likely does not have feelings for me like that so I sent her a text saying that I was made and have been frustrated lately because I was attracted to her but she did not feel the same way about me.
That's the second unmanly thing you've done today. One more and I'm taking your man card. NEVER "bring up your feelings" to a girl unless she does it first and specifically request you do the same. It makes you look weak and needy, while women are attracted to strong and independent.
Continuing to profess your feelings (especially via text) when she has not reciprocated at all is even worse. Rest assured she is showing those texts to her girlfriends and they are laughing about what a girly-man you are.
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I also explained that I felt like she had been walking all over me lately and was sick of that as well. She did not respond for 3 and a half hours (I sent the previous text in the middle of a conversation). I then sent another text asking her if she was going to respond to me and a half an hour later she responded back saying that she was just about to but she had been thinking. Now since this topic has come up albeit a few years ago I feel like it shouldn't have been that big of a shock to her.
The first part of this I like. Your little Raisinettes are finally inflating into some big nuts. What I don't like is you texting her again an hour and a half later when she hasn't yet responded to you. That makes it look like you are sitting by your phone waiting for her response, which once again is weak.
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She then said that she doesn't think that her or me can help how we feel or don't feel about each other but she can tell me she values our friendship. She goes on saying that she is sorry if she made me feel unappreciated. I explain that I didn't think she would refut what I had said and moved onto what I thought about the situation of our friendship and how she treated it.
She then tells me she feels bad now and that shes really sorry for how she has treated me and that it won't happen again. She says that I would not want to be with her and that I deserve better. She then explains that she is messed up and probably won't have a normal or healthy relationship in her life.
These two paragraphs, and also the rest of your post, can be condensed into three words: She's. Not. Interested. The reason doesn't matter. You aren't going to score with her, so move on. There are 6.5 billion people in the world, and more than half of them are chicks. There is NO reason to obsess over just one of them.
"She has recently got out of a long relationship a few weeks ago."
Never, ever be the rebound guy.
She needs time to get past all her feelings for the ex.
Give her lots of time.
Time is YOUR friend right now.
Agree. This isn't the best time for you to pursue anything with her. Once you break up with someone you really love it takes you a long time to get over them. If you value your friendship, just give her some space, and if she's interested in you, she'll let you know.
You said that you told her you were tired of her walking all over you. People will only walk over you, if you become a dormat. Time for you to start meeting other people.
Spending months being "in love with" and pining over a girl who is unavailable is weak. Think of how many other girls you could have hooked up with during that time if you weren't so hung up on that one.
That's the second unmanly thing you've done today. One more and I'm taking your man card. NEVER "bring up your feelings" to a girl unless she does it first and specifically request you do the same. It makes you look weak and needy, while women are attracted to strong and independent.
Continuing to profess your feelings (especially via text) when she has not reciprocated at all is even worse. Rest assured she is showing those texts to her girlfriends and they are laughing about what a girly-man you are.
The first part of this I like. Your little Raisinettes are finally inflating into some big nuts. What I don't like is you texting her again an hour and a half later when she hasn't yet responded to you. That makes it look like you are sitting by your phone waiting for her response, which once again is weak.
These two paragraphs, and also the rest of your post, can be condensed into three words: She's. Not. Interested. The reason doesn't matter. You aren't going to score with her, so move on. There are 6.5 billion people in the world, and more than half of them are chicks. There is NO reason to obsess over just one of them.
You have a lot to learn about women if you actually believe that stuff.
You have a lot to learn about women if you actually believe that stuff.
I see from you're profile that you're still a college student. Therefore, you can be forgiven for still thinking that guys who act like Matthew McConaughey in a romantic comedy (but don't look like him) are the guys who succeed with women.
For the guys living in reality, follow my advice. I say from experience that it works.
I see from you're profile that you're still a college student. Therefore, you can be forgiven for still thinking that guys who act like Matthew McConaughey in a romantic comedy (but don't look like him) are the guys who succeed with women.
For the guys living in reality, follow my advice. I say from experience that it works.
As a women with probably more experience with men and WOMEN then you i can say it almost never works. Girls like guys who are decent, but you are fooling yourself to believe we want stony unemotional men. In fact i don't know any of my friends that have a guy who is like that. So keep on believing your prehistoric stereotypes if you want .
As a women with probably more experience with men and WOMEN then you i can say it almost never works. Girls like guys who are decent, but you are fooling yourself to believe we want stony unemotional men. In fact i don't know any of my friends that have a guy who is like that. So keep on believing your prehistoric stereotypes if you want .
And you keep on believing that the "nice" guys women claim they like and the guys they actually sleep with are one and the same.
As a women with probably more experience with men and WOMEN then you i can say it almost never works. Girls like guys who are decent, but you are fooling yourself to believe we want stony unemotional men. In fact i don't know any of my friends that have a guy who is like that. So keep on believing your prehistoric stereotypes if you want .
Also, I don't recall saying anywhere in my post that men should be "stony" and "unemotional."
If you go back and re-read, you will see I gave four pieces of advice:
1. Don't pine after a girl who is unavailable. It is a waste of time.
2. Don't spill your feelings to a girl like a sap when she hasn't shown any for you.
3. Don't send a girl a second text when she hasn't even responded to your first text.
4. If you can't establish mutual interest with a girl, move on.
Feel free to present a logical argument against any of those, but I have serious doubts that one exists.
Spending months being "in love with" and pining over a girl who is unavailable is weak. Think of how many other girls you could have hooked up with during that time if you weren't so hung up on that one.
This is something I've noticed frequently on C-D, a male posting about being "in love" with a girl/woman he's not dated, let alone someone who is currently, or just recently ended, a relationship with another.
Why are people wasting time developing feelings and attachments to those who are unavailable?
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i can say it almost never works. Girls like guys who are decent, but you are fooling yourself to believe we want stony unemotional men. In fact i don't know any of my friends that have a guy who is like that. So keep on believing your prehistoric stereotypes if you want 
.
