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Yes, I have lied before. Nothing over the top, I've just been vague like "I love you" or something like that. I guess I could be more upfront in the moment as opposed to waiting until later to try and talk about it.
30.
Telling your husband that "I love you" during sex is a lie?
I was thinking more on the lines of," Ohhh yeahh babby...I had a huge O!"
Talk to him, please. Its nice to knock one off every now and again, but being intimate with your SO should NOT be such a chore.
He's insulted by the idea of being inadequate, yet, he IS inadequate because he doesn't care enough about your satisfaction. You can leave things alone and keep your toys a secret, or you have to confront him and tell him that his technique is indeed inadequate, but you know he can do better if he wants to do so. If he doesn't want to learn and try, then you can decide what to do, but without truth, he can't change. Change can be hard, long, and painful, but is often worthwhile, especially if you do love each other and want a complete and satisfying relationship.
Take the risk and demand he listen and change, is my opinion.
TaoistDude is right...you're going to have to take controll,....get a book on different love-making techniques and try everyone.....ask him what his greatest fantasy in the bedroom would be....and act it out....sounds to me like you two need some spice in that department.
There's nothing wrong with having a vibrator to pleasure yourself
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pringles
I will try to keep this as clean as possible.Bascially, my bedroom life with my husband is boring. I get very little physical pleasure out of it, but I do get some emotional effects. But now I feel a bit used because it's the same old thing, it doesn't last very long, and I feel like he just gets his jollies and goes to sleep.
I used to bring my 'little friend' to bed, but then he got mad and said that I liked it more than him and it was obvious that it was more pleasing to me. Well, duh. That was the only way I could get some release. I didn't think it was fair to leave me hanging every night. But I wanted to make him happy so I stopped and got rid of the thing.After a year, I was tired of having all this tension so I bought a new one.
But I only use it when he is not home. I don't think intimacy is supposed to be this way. Both people are supposed to be happy. I don't like feeling like an object. I would love to get rid of my 'little friend' but I have no idea how I would duplicate that response with my husband. I guess I have no idea what we are doing, but it's not working and he doesn't seem to understand that.
Hate being so crass, Pringles, but we're mostly adults on this board. I hope my assumption is correct that your "little friend" is a vibrator/*****. You know we can put a man on the moon, and send satellites to the outer reaches of the galaxy, but when it comes to sexual intercourse between adults, let's just say, some folks just can't get off the ground for various reasons. No big deal because your choices are quite simple: a) continue using your "little friend," sans intimacy but with great relief, b) find another partner for the purpose of sexual intimacy, and pleasure you never dreamed of before, c) tell your husband to get his act in gear and take care of your needs, d) throw away your "little friend," stop having sex for the sake of pleasure, and let your husband continue to fool himself that your enjoying the moment, or, e) stop having sex altogether. PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
Hate being so crass, Pringles, but we're mostly adults on this board. I hope my assumption is correct that your "little friend" is a vibrator/*****. You know we can put a man on the moon, and send satellites to the outer reaches of the galaxy, but when it comes to sexual intercourse between adults, let's just say, some folks just can't get off the ground for various reasons. No big deal because your choices are quite simple: a) continue using your "little friend," sans intimacy but with great relief, b) find another partner for the purpose of sexual intimacy, and pleasure you never dreamed of before, c) tell your husband to get his act in gear and take care of your needs, d) throw away your "little friend," stop having sex for the sake of pleasure, and let your husband continue to fool himself that your enjoying the moment, or, e) stop having sex altogether. PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
Actually, if the toy works technically and the husband works emotionally and otherwise, it's not too bad of a combination... It's the best of both worlds! It's a whole lot harder to find a decent husband than a decent lover.
Actually, if the toy works technically and the husband works emotionally and otherwise, it's not too bad of a combination... It's the best of both worlds! It's a whole lot harder to find a decent husband than a decent lover.
While I'm aware of this situation happening throughout many marriages, if my SO told me that she wasn't getting off from me and was using a vibrator or any object to get off and not me, it'd probably drive a wedge in the relationship, and could probably lead to divorce, assuming there wasn't anything I could do to help this situation.
Of course, it's a bigger issue if she waits a long time to tell me this information. With holding that information from me, for a long period of time, is almost like lying, and I do not deal with liars.
I think maybe it is time you two start talking to one another. Tell him he isn't doing it for you, and if he is so turned off by your 'little friend' then he can sleep by himself. Don't put up with this BS, you are entitled to the same enjoyment he is entitled to, and if your are not getting it, you need to do something about it. Maybe tomorrow night you should pull out your 'little friend' and say "my turn first, if I can still walk when I get done using this thing, we'll concentrate on you".
This sounds like a dream situation for a lot of guys I know... a woman who enjoys a battery operated boyfriend now and again. That's like an invitation for the guy to get involved.
Maybe invest in some other toys and give them a whirl next time you guys get it on. If he doesn't get into it I'd be surprised. It's a cheap experiment anyway... and you always have the toys
And maybe get one or two he can use, can't hurt to try.
As you can see, he's not interested in anything other than relieving himself.
I guess if he refuses to try to do a little work for the marriage then either keep using toys, don't give him any until he tries to do some work, or divorce him. Honestly I wouldn't put up with someone like that.
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There's nothing wrong with having a vibrator to pleasure yourself
