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I guess it is in what you want or like. I for one love a good well cooked Sirloin. I have no problem telling the waiter how I want that meal prepaired. The same with dating. Make dating the same as how you want a meal. Maybe picture something that you want to do, and were not talking going to the movies here. Pick something that is exciting and appropriate for a date. Sky diving also doesn't fit. Decide on a place to eat, place to go dancing if you like that. describe the experience in great detail to yourself. This is something that you want to do and think it is worthy to share with someone you are attracted to. What you want to do is take the focus off the person for a minute and place it on the experience. It is all about the experience. It could be anything. The rule is that it has to be creative and something that two people can safely do and have a lot of fun doing but will still look presentable at the end of the event. Also and remember this, your not here to score, get some, or remove the ladies clothing in any way. This is all about the experience.
Once you have that in mind choose someone to invite to your perfect date. Let them know about what you have planned and ask them to join you. If you know them I would approach it like this; I am going to be doing X, Y, and Z and thought of you. Would you like to go with me Friday or Saturday to do X, Y, and Z?
If you are just meeting them for the first time then you need to get creative.
I met a girl years ago at a clothing store. I had her help me pick out some clothes for a date I was going on. I told her what I was going to be doing and let her know that my fashion background just can't cut it. I asked her for help. When I talked about my plans I could tell she was interested. I ended up asking her to go with me.
I don't know! I have several girl friends, I'm fairly intelligent, dress well, I'm not bad looking (or so I've heard), and have a good sense of humor... but I've just had zero luck so far.
Maybe it's as soon2bn said, that I need to at least create the veneer of greater confidence. But, at the same time, I don't feel like I'm generating an aura of a lack of confidence either.
Try the takeaway close, otherwise known as reverse psychology. People especially young people don't want what is being pushed on them, On the other hand they really do want what maybe they won't be able to get. In their subconscious they wonder if there might be a good reason why you're not so desperate. Yes, be friends, act like you're not interested in sex with them necessarily. If it comes that's great, if not I'm cool with just being friends, but a few subtle hints that you really might be, even despite your budding friendship might be advisable, like undressing them with your eyes when they think that you think that they think that you aren't looking at them.
Confused? Don't be. We all tend to run from someone we sense is gunning for us. Does it make sense? No. But much of human nature does not. As long as there's a mutual attraction it's just a matter of time before you hit pay dirt. Buona Fortuna!
Here's your own answer about how this approach works in reality! And the reality has nothing to do with what your girl friends and a number of women who will attack my post say.
^ I feel like the last few girls I've been interested in (and asked out) have done some of those things.
Then again, I have friends (who I know aren't interested) do those things as well, e.g., playing with my hair.
Well your established "friends" are teasing you. Focus on the not friends and don't let them see you as a friend, or at least as just a friend.
Here is a scenario for ya. Girl shows some interest in you. So you call her up and say "hey, I am going to the concert, club, event or whatever because I really like that or the _____. You should go with me, it will be fun" Or "would you like to go, it will be fun"?
What did you just do with that? You showed confidence by asking her, you showed you have self interests and you have your own life and are setting up so she can be included in your interests.
And if she says no you go anyway and have fun. But if she does go and you are hitting it off if she gets flirty when the time is right go for her hand, or pull her into you and kiss her.
I almost guarantee you after that she will be thinking "whoa this guy is hot, he takes charge, knows what he wants, has his own life and goes on with it either way, but he seems to want me in it". She'll probably be thinking of you as more than a friend at that point.
Ever see a couple on a motorcycle? Ever see the guy on the back and she driving? Would look weird wouldn't it and you would think he was a sissy. She rides on the back, he is driving. He may be driving to where she wants to go or they agreed to where, but he is driving. And she probably respects him when he decides where he wants to go sometimes, not saying he won't go if she don't.
Well your established "friends" are teasing you. Focus on the not friends and don't let them see you as a friend, or at least as just a friend.
Here is a scenario for ya. Girl shows some interest in you. So you call her up and say "hey, I am going to the concert, club, event or whatever because I really like that or the _____. You should go with me, it will be fun" Or "would you like to go, it will be fun"?
What did you just do with that? You showed confidence by asking her, you showed you have self interests and you have your own life and are setting up so she can be included in your interests.
And if she says no you go anyway and have fun. But if she does go and you are hitting it off if she gets flirty when the time is right go for her hand, or pull her into you and kiss her.
I almost guarantee you after that she will be thinking "whoa this guy is hot, he takes charge, knows what he wants, has his own life and goes on with it either way, but he seems to want me in it". She'll probably be thinking of you as more than a friend at that point.
Ever see a couple on a motorcycle? Ever see the guy on the back and she driving? Would look weird wouldn't it and you would think he was a sissy. She rides on the back, he is driving. He may be driving to where she wants to go or they agreed to where, but he is driving. And she probably respects him when he decides where he wants to go sometimes, not saying he won't go if she don't.
Exactly! Many of those gen Y-ers remind me of an old joke from engineering school (as you know, engineers are not exactly known for being suave). A girl is with a guy in his dorm room in the wee hours and asks him to do various little things for her, which he does, but the moron doesn’t get it. Eventually she gets pis*sed and tells him – “I want a man, you idiot!” – to which he responds: “Well, I gave you a drink, I gave you my jacket because you were cold, but I’m not gonna go find you a man at 2 a.m..”
I would say that this friend of yours is the exception and not the norm.
Most women I've known say the inverse, that they would absolutely never date a friend - something a few women on here have mentioned, too. I've had many discussions about this, and it's commonly termed "The Friend Zone." Once a woman puts you in the friend zone, chances are good you'll never get out of it.
So, when you befriend a girl and then spend sleepless nights with her on her bed talking about her insecurities and desires and all the things she normally would never tell a soul... when you take her on special little excursions off to nice, special places... you think you're building a romantic connection, she thinks that you're the best guy friend ever.
I've actually managed to date female friends, but in all three situations, there was romantic tension before we got together.
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