There are a lot of small towns in this area to choose from. Some are cheaper to live in, buy in that others. If you are buying a home they range from low $100k's to millions - it all depends on what you want. Local real estate co are Keller Reality, Coldwell Banker, Howard Perry Walston, Fonville Morisey, they each have numerous websites.
Rent - I am not certain what you get for what amount, I'm sure you can find something on the web. I'd say you are looking at $800 to $1,500month for an apartment or smaller home.
If your wife will work in childcare the pay is not good. We do have a law school in this area if she needs to take classes to prepare for the NC Bar exam. It's Campbell Law School and is located downtown.
I agree with you, when moving to a new country, absorb the culture and integrate. This is great area. The natives are very accepting of newcomers who comprise the majority of residents. We have people here from all over the world and lots from New Jersey, NY state and the NE.
Misc - it gets very humid in summer along with the heat. The beach is 2 hrs away, mtns 4hrs. Lots of oak trees here - it's called the City of Oaks. School system is Wake County
www.wcpss.net You must have a car here, public transport is minimal and slow. Gas is $2.77 gal today. You'll pay car insurance and an annual property tax on your car based on its value -
www.wakegov.com
Good luck!