"Technically" being an adult, but not really an adult. (anxiety, therapy)
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I just turned 35, been working the same $9 an hour department store job I had straight out of high school. I have never dated, never "gone out" (have always been friendless) never really traveled, no longer drive due to financial (I make 16,000 a year) and anxiety issues. I think part of is is due to the copious amounts of weed I smoked and the ADHD drugs I was on during my teenager/early 20s years. It fried my nervous system somehow and has turned me into the anxiety ridden extremely socially awkward person I am today. The highlight of my day is usually going home to my rented motel room, smoking weed and drinking beer while playing MMO games using the free wifi from the Dunkin Donuts across the street.
I had a short stint at a local commuter community college where I was dismissed due to failing the remedial math class 3 times. I was later fired from a skilled trade apprentice program and have fallen into this dead end retail job ever since. I really have no ambition or aspirations in life. I don't like socializing or being around people that much. I had offers for management positions at my dead end retail job but always turned them down because I can't handle the long hours and stress involved.
What is wrong with me? Should I seek some kind of professional help? I mean everyone can choose the way they live, but I feel mine won't always be sustainable especially as I get older.
I disagree that you don't have an ambitions--you just stated that you aspire to a better life than what you are living now.
I think it would be a good idea to get some type of professional help to treat your anxiety issues first--they are getting in the way of you moving on. If you can deal with retail work, then believe me you've already mastered the ability to deal with anxiety on some level. I believe you have more potential than you think.
Start by changing your living situation and asking for a raise. You still make only $9 a hour after all these years?
Your anxiety can be treated with medication and counseling.
Also think about returning to school and getting a math tutor.
I have worked for the same company that's on a slow death spiral for the past 15 years. Luckily I can live on almost nothing, few bills, no kids, not married. Cheap digs means I can work under 40 hours a week and have more time to enjoy life. I successfully lived out of the backseat of a '92 Buick for over 2 years.
I have no clue what I'd return to school for. I already bombed out of the computer programming course pretty badly and have no desire to return to it. I was fired from the skilled trade apprenticeship so obviously I'm not cut out for that either.
My friend, you really don't sound as if you were enjoying life in spite of what you say!!! Shop for a therapist who specializes in CBT, cognitive-behavioral therapy, for anxiety disorders. A support group geared towards building social and coping skills is also a great idea for someone like you. Someone living so close to hand to mouth that he is sleeping in the back seat of a car would probably qualify for community mental health services. Give your county CMH a call. They can also potentially set you up with some sort of job-support program to help you find something you can really do well at.
And check out these folks, they are super helpful:
Weed (depending on the type) isn't good for you if you have anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression. Most people don't even know what type they're smoking, they just do. Cut out all drugs and alcohol, they are downers. It will make you feel even more down than you already are. Get some natural Vitamin D, go for walks...
Are you depressed? However, I think if you've been depressed for this long, your symptoms would be extremely severe.
Are you an Aspie? Even though this won't give you a diagnosis, it may help you figure out why you're so antisocial. I think your lack of motivation corresponds with that fact that you don't socialize. Asperger's Quiz
Artificial "Aspie". Pothead. Easier to lay about and think there's a problem. Doing things is hard. Stop looking for excuses. Stop your substance abuse and get help if you need it. It will take several years to clear your head. Then you'll remember all of those times people tried to interact with you, but you found it easier to catch a buzz, play video games, and watch the tube. Trust me on this. . .
I just turned 35, been working the same $9 an hour department store job I had straight out of high school. I have never dated, never "gone out" (have always been friendless) never really traveled, no longer drive due to financial (I make 16,000 a year) and anxiety issues. I think part of is is due to the copious amounts of weed I smoked and the ADHD drugs I was on during my teenager/early 20s years. It fried my nervous system somehow and has turned me into the anxiety ridden extremely socially awkward person I am today. The highlight of my day is usually going home to my rented motel room, smoking weed and drinking beer while playing MMO games using the free wifi from the Dunkin Donuts across the street.
I had a short stint at a local commuter community college where I was dismissed due to failing the remedial math class 3 times. I was later fired from a skilled trade apprentice program and have fallen into this dead end retail job ever since. I really have no ambition or aspirations in life. I don't like socializing or being around people that much. I had offers for management positions at my dead end retail job but always turned them down because I can't handle the long hours and stress involved.
What is wrong with me? Should I seek some kind of professional help? I mean everyone can choose the way they live, but I feel mine won't always be sustainable especially as I get older.
So I propose a checklist.
1. Start reading literary fiction. Maybe start with the Great Gatsby, then chug your way through War & Peace, Anna Karenina. The reason I say this is, there's a lot of research suggesting that reading literary fiction improves social IQ, empathy, observational skills, etc.
2. Find a good cognitive-behavioral therapist who can help you improve your self-esteem and social skills.
3. Exercise. Start running and build up your stamina so that you can improve your body as well as your mood. Or, if running's not an option, you could take up cycling.
4. Most importantly (there's no order to these suggestions) cut the drugs out of your life. How could you even start to think about applying for new jobs when you wouldn't pass a drug test? Furthermore, these drugs are probably causing you to be depressed, and affecting your mood.
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