Birth control pills, breakthrough bleeding, BCP 99% effective? Which birth control most effective? (months, light)

[TabulaRasa]

If you have been taking the pill correctly, pregnancy is indeed very unlikely (though not impossible). If you are having irregular periods that make you wonder, though, it's wisest to take a test.

Yes, not all pills work well for every woman. Many women have to try several different formulations before finding one that is a hormone mix that works well with their natural chemistry. Hormonal birth control comes in all different formulations, different types of synthetic hormones, different levels, different release schedules...it's all in finding what works best for you. Some people don't like to use hormonal contraception at all. I have been on numerous kinds of pill on and off since my twenties, and the ring, as well. Different people react differently to different formulations. The type of pill that worked best for me is a triphasic pill (Ortho Tricyclen is a common brand name), and other women I know said they had problems on it, so it's really an individual thing.

I had a really regular cycle all my life, and that never really change on the pill. It does take time for your body to become accustomed to new hormones, but many women go on the pill to regulate their hormones, so ultimately, it really shouldn't be throwing you off, once the adjustment is done.

[TabulaRasa]

Originally Posted by ishe

I started this BCP in December, now is April already so it have been 5 months. I don't know why my body still trying to adjust to this BCP, should I change BCP?

It should have probably leveled out by now if it's right for you. You might need to talk to your provider about trying another type.

So in my situation, is there anything I should worried about? Me being a virgin and sexually inexperience should have no effect into getting pregnant at the age 30 right?

Nope. All that matters is healthy sperm meeting healthy egg and the timing and environment being right for fertilization and implantation to occur.

Well I'm married so I'm not a virgin anymore, but being sexually inexperience doesn't lessen the chance to get pregnant right?

Nope.

I heard that women who have children before are more easier to get pregnant compared to a women who never have had children before, is this true?

It wasn't for me. My first and only pregnancy, which I'm in the middle of, came about exactly as we planned it. Your fertility (and that of your husband, for that matter) is an individual thing, and doesn't follow any traditionally held beliefs or rules of thumb.

[suzy_q2010]

Originally Posted by TabulaRasa

It wasn't for me. My first and only pregnancy, which I'm in the middle of, came about exactly as we planned it.

Congratulations!

[wac_432]

Can't help you with the pregnancy questions, just the cultural ones:

Originally Posted by ishe

But uh.. he making his Chinese wife feel awkward. Kissing my stomach for 9 Months everyday until the baby born, is too much affections. He is a doting husband alright, but he going to suffocate his wife and the baby.

Better write this to him rather than us. He is going to wonder why you are always so cold and distant. You need to let him know that how he is acting makes you uncomfortable, and that you act how you act because it is how you were brought up--not because you don't feel love for him.

I was raise in a strict traditional Chinese family, so I know I will be very strict to my kids. And him, he the Dad that will spoil his kids. The kids will always run to daddy daddy for everything because daddy spoil them rotten. Arg!!
Before we TTC, I think we need another talk on how we going to raise kids. We have the talk before, he said it himself that he will spoil his children.

You should tell him you are not okay with this. Tell him that you will feel like he might turn the children against you, probably making you even more isolated now that you have given up your mother/family to be with him. He has the responsibility to take care of you and his [future] kids. He will not live up to that responsibility if his kids end up rotten and his wife feels like she is all alone in life.

When he wanted marriage, I constantly told him that there a big cultural difference between us. Sexually, I only have one guy that is him and he know this. Pretty much he said as long as I’m by his side, we go through these together and everything will work out.

That's true, if he is also by YOUR side.

I know he patience and he is a doting husband. He let me have things my way so I can be happy. But now to the kids issue, I don’t think he going to let me have it all my way. But uh.. we probably have cultural clashes on the ways we going to raise our children.

You will need to give in some, of course. Think about how you can collaborate with him to give the children special treats; a big birthday party, a special trip, special meals, etc. This sort of pre-planning should be fun for the two of you and hopefully it will help you mesh your parenting styles without too much conflict.

You can do all this while you are pregnant, if you are pregnant. You have at least 8 or 9 months, hopefully.

And, no, I don't think you are selfish for wanting to spend a year as a couple before bringing in the stress of a baby. It's a good idea. 30 or 31/32 shouldn't make that much difference in terms of fertility.

[ishe]

Thank you for everyone advice. Thank you Ms. TabulaRasa so much for giving great informative advice, your so nice.
Thank you suzy_q2010, and thanks for other reply that gave me advice.

I'm not pregnant. I have buy the pregnancy test from the store and take it and it negative. Pregnancy test at the store should work accurately same as the pregnancy test the doctor office right?

Hi, thank you wac_432 for your advice too.

It is fine that my husband want to kiss my stomach everyday for 9 months until the baby born. I appreciate that he is a doting husband.
I can already tell our future baby will be spoil, not even born yet and already have daddy kisses everyday. And with the way he is I can tell he will spoil his kids rotten. BUT I personally want my kids to have discipline.
I'm Chinese and my husband is Black, so we do have hug cultural differnce between us.

I do have a cold childhood, my mom was abusive to her children. Throughout my whole childhood I hear she belittle me, put me down everyday, being verbally/emotionally abusive to me. So it does take a toll on my self-worth.
To my mom in her eyes, I'm worth less than a dog on the street.
Subconsciously seem like my childhood experienced still haunt me. Now as an adult, sometimes I do feel like I'm not worth it to be love at all. It also does make me feel awkward when I get alot of affections from my husband.

My husband know all about my childhod and he is very understanding. It him that hold down this relationship since the beginning. I have the tendency to run and hide from my emotions. And he invest in his emotions to make it work. I feel very blessed to have him.
I have zero regret in this marraige, he is awesome husband.

Situation is that I promise him we will TTC next year in 2016, but now I want to hold it off few more years.
The reason is I think my husband won't have time for the baby. Because right now everyday he working 2 jobs, everyday 12-14 hours. So if now I'm pregnant, he won't be able to spend much time with the baby.
When we dating he work 1 job, now we married he working 2 jobs so we can have enough money to buy a house in 2016

I told him we should try to pay our house half in Cash, half in Mortgage. This is one of the reason why he working his butt off right now.
We have been working for more than a decade so do have decent amount of money in both our Saving accounts.
BUT I keep want to aim at payng the house half in Cash and this is hard. Maybe we should move to another state to buy a cheap house?
I'm also working but I work 1 job and it a hourly pay job with little commission, so I don't make much. We both are Financially independent.

When my husband get off work, all he have time for is shower, eat and sleep and next day work long hours again.
And baby cries alot, if baby cries all night and we both have to keep wake up. Then how he going to have enough sleep to work 12-14 hours next day?

His plan is after we buy our house, he want to go back working 1 job. And we have our baby, he wants to be around the baby. I'm not even pregnant yet and he already have this much baby fever.
But my worried is when we have our house, we have to pay Mortgage and Bills, and with a baby will cost more money.

We both don't spend much, but we do want the best for the baby. Baby do cost ALOT right? If baby cost alot then he have to go back to work 2 jobs, then he won't be able to spend time with the baby. This is what I'm woried about.

Any tips? Baby advice? What would you do if you in my situation? Is a house a must have before have a baby?
I know he is a doting husband and he let me have things my way so I can be happy. If I told him I want to wait few more years before TTC, he probably will just go along with it just for me.
But then I know deep down inside he probably not happy, I can tell how much he want a baby.

And he is only 29 year olds, I think that kindda young to be a father, but he soooooo ready.
It just in my situation, there so many things going on at once, and I don't know how which is the best solution to all this.

Well, I'm going to talk to my husband this weekend about this.
Ms. TabulaRasa advice me that I should have a solid ground on financial first before bring in a baby.

I don't know, I hope I'm not using the house excuse as to run away from being a mommy. What I know is I'm not ready to be a mom right now. I want time with my husband, I went through alot of hardship to be with him.
We didn't have a honeymoon because he work so much. Now with a baby, we probably won't have alone time as a couple anymore.

But then I see him soooo ready to be af ather and all his baby fever. Sometimes I do feel like I want to just get off BCP, and TTC naturally, whatever happens will happens. I'm just so confused right now.

[wac_432]

Babies aren't that expensive IF:
1. You are covered by medical insurance.
2. You can be a SAHM or otherwise don't have to pay for child care.

Clothes are $7 an outfit at discount stores, and you really only need about 4 sets. Must replace every 3 months, though.
Formula--if you don't exclusively breastfeed--runs about $25 every 2-3 days for powder. So about $2-3 per "meal".
Disposable diapers and wipes run about $4 per day, max.

Crib+Mattress: $300
Car Seat: $200
Playpen: $150
Sundry Items: $300ish

So about a grand of up-front investment to cover the basics. Then additional monthly expenses at or less than $200 if your kid is healthy with no special needs.

It's college that's really going to destroy your life savings...

[TabulaRasa]

Make sure you do a second test if your period continues not to show. False negatives on urine tests aren't unheard of, depending on how early on and the sensitivity of the test.

[ishe]

Hi again, THANK YOU so much for all the advice. I have an issue regarding to our house down-payment. There some questions I want to ask, the ones in Bold and Italics below. If possible may I please get insight/viewpoints and advice on it please. Like what would you do if you under my Financial situation and circumstances? Would it be better to go with my husband plan or my plan?

The good thing is both of us have perfect Credit scores. None of us have any kind of debt. None of us have any Credit-card debt. Our whole life so far, we are Debt-free. This does make us happy, especially me.
Here in USA, ALOT of people are in Credit-card debt. I'm so happy that we are Debt-free. And I want to remain that way, so I like to pay things off imeddiately as much as I can.

The person that keep on insist aim at 50% down-payment is me. I always have the thinking that larger down-payment will give us smaller mortgage monthly.
And we're not buying a big house so we should pay in cash as much as we can. So we don't have to worry many many years of paying monthly mortgage. Is this wrong thinking?

I have already talk with my husband more about this, and he said he go with what I want. Part of the problem is that he always go along with what I want so I can be happy.
When I said I prefer to pay the house half in Cash; he doesn't even talk back. He said 'Alright, anything you want', and he went find a second job. Working his butt off 2 jobs everyday to fulfill my prefer "pay house half in cash"

Well, he did promise that after we married he will listen to what his wife say. But then he dotes on his wife, and spoil his future children rotten, this is not good. He did said he will spoil his kids.

He said after I became his wife, first thing I said is I aim to pay the house half in Cash. And he said as a husband he will make it happen for me even if that means he have to work 3 jobs.
But I said No! I don't want him to that much because I don't think we can have time with each others if he working 3 jobs.

Right now he is working 2 jobs, and both of his jobs are Physical labor jobs. He sure is physically tired when he he get home. There are days when he have to work overnight too. I'm sure he stress out at his jobs, but never once he raise his voice on me.
He said if he stress from from work, he will sit in his car to think. He will not bring stress of work to home, he leave it outside as soon as he get out of the car.
He is an awesome husband, and I feel like I'm giving him a hard time over this 50% house down-payment.

My husband plan: He aim for 20% down-payment. He continue to work 2 jobs till 2016, then 2016 combine our saving to pay for the house down-payment. We not buying a big house so mortgage should be okay.
Then he will be back to work 1 job, and we TTC have our baby. He does want to spend time with the baby. This is first marriage and first baby for both so he really excited to be a father.

My plan: I aim for 50% down-payment, for sure we will not have enough money by 2016, so if I get pregnant then we will have to move to a more safe neighborhood to Rent.
And we continue to saving up money to pay for the house half in Cash that I aim for. We just have to buy our house later when we have enough money for the 50% down-payment I want.

Financially we doing okay, we are far far from rich. We are poor, but not like we dirt poor. We both been working for more than a decade, so we do have okay money save up. None of us are big spender, and we have the obsession with saving money. Are we too obsessed with saving money?
Well, we both poor and we both independent since young age. Nobody take care of us except ourselves. So we have no choice but to learn how to save up money to survive when it come to emergency and rainy days.

I don't know what to do with this husband of mine anymore. I want to spend another year with him as a couple before we TTC, but he sooo ready for a baby. BUT I'm sooo not ready to TTC this year.
It does like I'm looking at this at an 'All or Nothing approach'... Perhaps I'm using the pay the house 'half in Cash" as an excuse to buy time? Or perhaps the childhood experienced of my abusive mother is making me scare of become a mommy?

If go by husband plan TTC next year in 2016, I will be 31 year olds. So happy to hear other ladies here say that is not too late.
Husband is super confident that he can get me pregnant at the age 30, he said it be nice if we can have a soccer team of kids, lol

[wac_432]

If you can qualify for a loan at today's best rates, buy now. Seriously, if you have a 780 or higher credit score, go get a 30 year loan at 3.7% or less and stop throwing away money on rent. The only money you lose on a house is the interest and taxes.

Assume you buy a house with a 200,000 house with 0% down. You will throw away 7400\year in interest and maybe another 2600 in taxes. About 950/month. How high is your rent? If its over 1000\month, you come out way ahead by buying. PMI will hurt until you can scrape together 20%, but that's maybe 2 years of short term pain for 28 years of long term gain when you're paying 3.x% interest while those who waited to buy are paying historical average rates of 6% or higher!

If you know you are going to be in the same area for the foreseeable future, I would not **** away money on rent for a day longer than I had to!

[ishe]

Hi, asking those who take BCP, how many months does it take for your body to get used to the BCP?

I have breakthrough bleeding in April, my cycle was messed up. I took the pregnancy test in April and it was negative.
I took my pills everyday on time, so it 99% safe when you take the pills exactly on time everyday.

I think I should change my Birth control pills, because my body still not getting used to it yet, it keep give me breakthrough bleeding. And this is 4 month already, aren't I suppose to get used to it by now?

I pee this morning and there red blood when I wipe. It red blood soak the toilet paper, I'm kindda scare.
Uh.. my husband is at work, and I'm working today too, and I'm scare.
I'm not going to tell my husband about the blood because I know he will get panic.

Since last month I bought extra pregnancy test to leave at home just in case. Should I take the pregnancy test again for this month May?
The chances get pregnant on the pills is very slim when you take it on time everyday, it 99% effective.
Arg!! My cycle still not regular, and now I'm seeing red blood. I'm still getting breakthrough bleeding? I thought BCP suppose to make your cycle regular.

This week is not my placebo pills week, so I'm not suppose to bleed this week. It is possible I'm getting breakthrough bleeding before the sugar pills again?