Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Happiness is not about what you have but the feeling of how content you are with all the elements in your life. Kids won't make you happy and even the ever popular dollar won't if nothing else is working. If you are unhappy, having a child will not make you happy. Find what makes you happy then add the child to the mix!
It is great isn't it?...wait until your sons son comes for his big hug....that is true happiness, and a great feeling of contentment as well....raising children truly can be a very challenging job, but I feel that it can be a very joyous one as well, it's really all about the person themselves....they either are happy people or they're not....with or without kids.
I think the evidence is pretty cut and dry. Kids won't make you happy. In fact, your probably going to be a little more "unhappy" on average if you have kids.
I wasn't at all surprised by the World Happiness Report published by The Earth Institute of Columbia University answers the question, 'Do children make their parents happy?'
Well, you can't measure yourself. Your level of happiness must be applied to the general social/economic level of happiness of a childless person at same salary/etc.
With that being said. . . and the fact I don't have as much money, I don't get to play games as much, don't get to travel to europe as much, and all those negatives that generally make me less happy - on average - than before
I couldn't imagine not having the little guy.
Maybe average happiness is less
but you really can't beat a 3 year old yelling "daddy BIG HUG" and coming at you.
so maybe i'm less happy overall
but I wouldn't trade the Big Hug for the world.
You nailed the problem. It's the way they are measuring happiness. Sure, I could take nicer vacations if I didn't have kids but there would be something HUGE missing from my life if I didn't have kids. Maybe those of us with kids are less happy than those who don't want kids but would we be if we didn't have kids? I say no. I've been on both sides. I had dd#1 at 36 and dd#2 at 38. I cried myself to sleep many a night in the years before I had them because I couldn't have them. I think they're missing the getting what you want out of life part. If I didn't want kids, didn't have kids and had my salary, sure, I'd have a blast but I wanted kids. Not having them was a major downer.
I hear you on that big hug....I so miss toddler hugs...I have to admit my teens have me questioning my sanity WRT wanting kids some days...
I don't know about you but I didn't have kids to make me happy. I had kids because I wanted that connection. I want to be part of their lives. To watch them grow...to watch their kids grow...to know I was part of something much bigger than me. It wasn't about making me happy. It was about feeling fulfilled. No vacation in the world could do that.
What the hell is "happy" anyway? Nothing is going to "make" a mentally or emotionally unhealthy person happy. These are the folks who are going to so something stupid like make a child to "make" them happy. And they will spawn a new generation of mentally and emotionally unhealthy people.
Being part of a family full of love, commitment, joy, camaraderie, affection and common purpose is one of the things I hold most dear in my life. Even if it doesn't "make" me happy.
I'll say one thing for sure...kids definitely make the grandparents happier.
And Uncle's too. The reason is that at the end of the day, the Grandparent or the uncle gets to 'go home'. Its the best of both worlds. You get to enjoy the kids, but the parents are the ones who have to deal with all the other stuff.
I think that parenting is similar to running a marathon or climbing a mountains. It's a lot of work. There are moments of pure drudgery and moments of pure bliss. In the end, it's very rewarding and worth it for someone who chooses to be a parent.
Well, you can't measure yourself. Your level of happiness must be applied to the general social/economic level of happiness of a childless person at same salary/etc.
1) Sure you can.
2) No it doesn't.
Let's face it. If people didn't know they were happy that Kindergarten standard "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" would never have been written. People know when their happy and no one has to compare themselves to anyone else to know it.
Clap. Clap.
I've never even thought about measuring my happiness against someone else's. "Hey, Bub! You happy? Really? How much you make? Me too! Yay I can be happy!" (If you have to ask your childless neighbors how they're doing to measure your happiness I'd suggest a trip to Disneyland and a silly hat.)
I must ask though why do you think it's worse to not procreate then it is to do so? I think not reproducing is better than reproducing especially if you don't want them in the first place. Some people have better things to do with their lives than to reproduce.
I think it is natural to have kids. In a way, not having kids is like committing suicide. Having kids in a way is extending yourself (your genes) on in time. Not committing suicide is like living tomorrow.
Also, having kids allows me to give away my estate when I die.
Having kids allows me to receive tax credits and claim exemptions.
Having kids allows me to get services (for example, public schools) I paid property taxes for.
Having kids provides me with free labor around the house.
Having kids provides me with protection when they get older.
Having kids is one form of social security (as practiced by the majority of the world's population).
I can use the car pool lane with a kid in the car.
Next Question?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
