Who feels Sadder over the death of your pet than you did over a close relative or close friend? (humans, lost)
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Am I weird, Crazy or normal for feeling stronger about the death of my pet (last Friday) than I did over the death of my friend of 30 years, or even close relatives like my Grandmother who I lived I lived with as a child? If you asked me honestly...I would trade them...again...for my pet back. Certainly I was sad when the other two passed away. I felt horrible, but watching my pet die in my arms, and remembering that moment when he stopped breathing is pure hell. Im a man who has cried 3 times since I was 10 years old...until last friday, I have cried every single day, its not a sadness cry, its a cry of serious monumental loss mixed with anger. I was lying in bed last night ranking my losses in life...and it occurs to me that when people have died, it did not feel nearly this bad. I am not saying that if my children or wife were to pass I would not feel worse than this, but baring them...I find human loss easier. Anybody else?
I know I've cried harder over the loss of my pets than of humans, although I've lost people that I miss just as much. I think a lot of it is that we're the ones they look to to care for them and make things right,and it hurts when it gets to the point where we can't help them any more. Also, their life goes by so quickly. They (often) start out younger than us and then we watch them grow old, while we may not yet be old ourselves. It feels almost like having a young child snatched from us, even though we know better.
I am so sorry for your painful loss. I don't think it's unusual to feel that way, though. We form close bonds with our pets, who give us unconditional love. We care for them and raise them, and feel closer to them than we do with many family members that we see only occasionally. There is no reason to feel we must care less for a dog than a relative, you loved them all and that is what is important.
When my fuzzy little boy had to be put down, during the procedure I wished in my mind that I could have gone with him. Life has not been as joyful without him at home. He was truly an amazing baby doll angel and I cried more when he had to go than when I lost my father.
It does get a little better over time but the pain doesn't go away completely. What keeps me going is the thought that one day, I will be reunited with him otherwise I totally would lose it.
I know I've cried harder over the loss of my pets than of humans, although I've lost people that I miss just as much. I think a lot of it is that we're the ones they look to to care for them and make things right,and it hurts when it gets to the point where we can't help them any more. Also, their life goes by so quickly. They (often) start out younger than us and then we watch them grow old, while we may not yet be old ourselves. It feels almost like having a young child snatched from us, even though we know better.
This is similar to what I was about to post.
Most of the humans in my life that I loved were quite old and frail when they died. My mother, health failing, no quality of life left, weak with age even said a few times, "I wish God would take me so I can be with my mother, my father and sister and brother. So I can join my husband....." I knew she wanted to go, was more than ready to go, so was not grief stricken when she died at age 90. I shed a few tears and was happy that she now was where she wanted to be.
Losing a pet that lives with us and is like our child, that's our constant companion... well, that's so different. So very very different.
Am I weird, Crazy or normal for feeling stronger about the death of my pet (last Friday) than I did over the death of my friend of 30 years, or even close relatives like my Grandmother who I lived I lived with as a child? If you asked me honestly...I would trade them...again...for my pet back. Certainly I was sad when the other two passed away. I felt horrible, but watching my pet die in my arms, and remembering that moment when he stopped breathing is pure hell.
I can related to this. Our relationships with our pets are different than our relationships with relatives and friends.
Quote:
Im a man who has cried 3 times since I was 10 years old...until last friday, I have cried every single day, its not a sadness cry, its a cry of serious monumental loss mixed with anger. I was lying in bed last night ranking my losses in life...and it occurs to me that when people have died, it did not feel nearly this bad. I am not saying that if my children or wife were to pass I would not feel worse than this, but baring them...I find human loss easier. Anybody else?
Men cry. When my retired detective friend had to put his old cat to sleep he cried for days. He was inconsolable. And this was a macho man. She was his constant companion for 16 years. He suffered from one of those neurological disorders (MS or MD) that kept him housebound. He said the same thing you're saying... he took the deaths of his old cat worse than the deaths of past old friends and his relatives.
It does seem strange. I think we (some of us) actually forge much closer relationships with out pets. They are with us as long as we are home. We hold them in our arms. They depend on us as like a child.
I am sitting here thinking about it and I have a brother and sister who I am not really in contact with right now. Do I feel closer to them or to my cat? My cat. Even my brother and sister I talk to every other week or so, I am closer to my cat. I interact with him on a day to day basis.
I have to laugh because they could probably care less if they talk to me. I am the one who calls them. My cat probably cares much more!
Ah well. I think it is because of the closeness you shared with your pet. Thats what it probably boils down to.
It does seem strange. I think we (some of us) actually forge much closer relationships with out pets. They are with us as long as we are home. We hold them in our arms. They depend on us as like a child.
I am sitting here thinking about it and I have a brother and sister who I am not really in contact with right now. Do I feel closer to them or to my cat? My cat. Even my brother and sister I talk to every other week or so, I am closer to my cat. I interact with him on a day to day basis.
I have to laugh because they could probably care less if they talk to me. I am the one who calls them. My cat probably cares much more!
Ah well. I think it is because of the closeness you shared with your pet. Thats what it probably boils down to.
Like I have mentioned before, I do have a wife and child and new baby, and if anything happened to them, I would not even be able to write on this forum for a year..but sisters..eh, I would be very sad, go to the funeral, shed some tears..but like you we talk on the phone and visit for a week every two or three years. I spent thousands to make my cat feel comfortable. CRF has no cure. Eventually he developed breathing issues, and the clock started ticking. Even the countdown to the end was awful. The loss is monumental. If gave me the choice: the loyal pet of 18 years, or all current dead relatives...be alot of still dead relatives.
I totally get what you're saying. Losing my Aussie a few years ago was one of the toughest things to ever happen to me. A pet is a daily part of your life. I love my friends and family, but I don't spend as much time with anyone as I do with my dog. I have another dog now, and he's such a HUGE part of my life and daily routine. I get up in the morning and I take out my pup and give him breakfast. Anytime I'm home and on the couch he's right there next to me. He even sleeps with me at night. There would be a huge void in almost all of my daily routines if he wasn't there, so it's like being reminded of the loss over and over again. It gets better, hang in there!!
Death doesn't really get to me much unless it was my mother or something like that. I'd be upset if a pet died but I don't think I'd go hysterical.
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