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My feeling is this is weighing heavily on your mind, you otherwise wouldn't be looking for recommendations. I will agree with two of the previous posts here.
First, and foremost.. we all love our parents. I care about my father's welfare and well being and truly want him to be taken care of. Problem is, he doesn't want to take care of himself. He is nearly 60 yrs old, lives next door to his pushing 90 mother, can't pick up after himself, can't hardy pay for what he needs, and will never retire as he has no savings. I continually hear about how he doesn't have money, is getting a shut off notice of such n such, or is getting screwed by somebody. I've loaned him money (ie, gifted him money as it is family and I will never see it again), I've made recommendations on how to decrease his financial obligations so that he can better make ends meet, and I have tried to help make his home life easier all the while continuing to listen to how the world is against him. Then, I started thinking back into my childhood... there were so many friends who came and went all trying to help him in the same way. He has a teaching degree, but he decided in the early 90's he wouldn't apply to any teaching jobs because he automatically assumed he was too old to get hired. People pointed him towards teaching jobs that the districts were desperately trying to fill about an hour away, and he always turned down the opportunity because it was too far away. People recommended maybe he should try moving to a state that was on a boom and in need of good, experienced teachers, but he shot that down because he couldn't leave his mother - who would take care of her? (aside from his other siblings in the area that see her more often than he does...) Then he would get offered a real job working with a friend that had an 'in' with whichever company... and he'd turn it down saying he needed to be home for the children. The excuses have never ended. He is now working 40 hrs/week or more, finally, but with nothing to show for it except a couple broken down vehicles, a house that is in disrepair from years of neglect specifically related to not having the funds to repair it, barely making the bills, and overall never getting to enjoy his golden years approaching. It is a sad sight for me, BUT... I have come to the realization that he is his own worst enemy and there is NOTHING anyone can do to help him if he won't step up to the plate himself.
How does this relate to you?
You are currently at a fork in the road. You have a choice, and a very big choice. You can choose the path of excuses... how the world is against you, you can't catch a break, and you're overridden with debt...... OR........ You can step up to the plate, understand you're going to have to kick into 6th gear and make the best of what you have to work with.
Ask how many of us have worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time to make ends meet. Ask how many of us have gone days with literally a handful of hours worth of sleep because we have so much going on. But, it won't be forever. It is a short term solution to a long term goal. Right now I am looking at taking a job that will require me to work a shift that I am DEFINITELY not excited about... but, once I have the job, I can put in a request for either a shift change of a location transfer once there is an availability. It is going to be a short term inconvenience for both myself and my husband, but worth it in the long run.
To get by in today's world, sacrifices are essential. Make up your mind - either you're going back to school or you're not. If not, make a financial plan on how you're going to pay off the debts, even if it means you have to work several jobs all at once. If so, come up with a financial plan to 1. get the debt up to date, and 2. get enrolled back into class so you can re-establish yourself as a student. Unfortunately, this may require you to reduce your overall living expenses (hey, we had to do it too! it sucks, I know) and this would most likely mean leaving mom to fend for herself or both you and mom living somewhere more affordable. Again, short term solution for a long term goal. Most importantly.... don't make excuses why you CAN'T.... make a reason why you CAN. It will be worth it in the end.
I agree with the poster who suggested you should look for a job in the field you took you classes in. Otherwise, what was the point of going to school? Five classes isn't a lot to be short, you must have learned something.
If you can take one class at a time online that would be ideal as being in school may be one of the criteria for suspending payment on your loans. Don't let old thinking paralyze you. You can both sustain your living w your mom and continue your degree.
I don't know if anyone else is schocked by the amount of this loan, and I know it's too late for you and you may not be able to transfer your credits, but a community college and a state university would have been much cheaper than DeVry.
Yeah, I went to a year of court reporting school and dropped out. I just couldn't get the hang of it. I owed $10k in student loans and I paid it back. Took 10 or 12 years.
Do you know there are people graduating college and law school with huge loans and can't find jobs to pay them back? You are in good company. The problem is you and all of these other folks pretty much have to pay these loans back. You can't go to bankruptcy court with them.
Call the lender to arrange (hopefully) to make a low payment every month. In the meantime you need to make more money. Pizza delivery should be your side job. You need a job that offers a future, advancement. Do something as mundane as working in a mail room of a large corporation or law firm. You will get steady raises, health insurance, 401(k) match, profit sharing, maybe even tuition reimbursement and it will look *much* better on your resume than just pizza delivery.
Then maybe you can finish your school either at that branch or maybe another branch with different teachers - If You Think It Will Really Lead To a Related Job. Because the other side of this coin is you take and borrow money for 5 more classes, but then there aren't any actual jobs. [Not to be confused with the "jobs" posted on the school's Job Board.]
Please don't take what I am going to say as criticism, but it seems to me that you are looking for reasons to why you can't do more. Try looking for reasons why you CAN do more. Sure, you couldn't understand the teachers way of teaching, but that's not the reason you're delivering pizzas.
The things that happened to you, are in the past. Forget them and try to figure out ways to make progress in your life. And that includes letting your mother fend for herself for a while. Cheaper houses may not be as nice, but if it's all she can afford, then that's it. If you get a decent career started, you could do more for her. It would be an investment in the future for both of you.
Trust me we do live in a nicer area right now but it is a $1200 a month place....and weve only been here for a year.......before that we lived in apartments that were $700 - $800 a month and as a kid i lived with my family in a station wagon for a while and we arent afraid to go without, but its all about timing sometimes....we thought we could afford this place and the house we were in before (people bailed on us so we were stuck) but i couldnt predict that my company would hire so many drivers to make their service times better and it made my pay go really low and now im stuck i cant afford to pay extra bills or save for anything with my salary....
i make about 22-25k a year so that means i need a roomate.....i dont buy movies or go out to tha clubs all the time or buy cd's .....and i still end up paying my phone bill late every month because i just dont have the money to afford to pay it by the due date....but i do pay it......and if i move out with a roomate ill probably have to pay more and have to deal with someone thats messy ...
i already tryed the roomate thing....i would rather stay and live with my mother until we can get in a better situation....thanx for trying to help with your comments.......i really do not have the extra money to pay anything right now.....buisness is bad right now...last year it was good at this time and i was making $90 - $100 dollars a night....now im making about $60 dollars a night and i only get to work 2 or 3 nights a week where i can make that much in tips and my checks are down to about 500 a month for the hourly pay....i spend about 10 dollars gas every 2 days so i am really only bringing home $340 - $350 out of the $500 in hourly wages for the month.....and i pay $500 for rent, $400 for the car/insurance, $80 on the phone, and about $300 on my own food......
i dont have a credit card or bank account and my mother is in her late 50's and has only $10,000 in her savings and for retirement.....and we dont associate with outside family and never have so there is no help from anyone else .....its just me and her and i am not leaving her alone just because she had 50 years to live and make a life........my whole thing about not paying is because my girlfriend is kinda in the same situation as far as money and she had enough to pay the minimum on her loans but what good does that do......the interest makes it to where you are just basically handing money to people and they are throwing it away......so why not keep it for stuff you need....things keep happening.....
i had to pay $1000 dollars to fix some things on my car 2 weeks ago and i had problems from some credit cards from a few years ago but i finally got those payed and swore off credit and havent used a card for about 2 years ......
i have a messed up knee to and its hard to find a job where i cant sit the majority of the day and have a balance of rest and movement for my knee....i have severe arthritis in my knee and it came from a broken femur when i was 12 years old....thats a long story and people will say why is your knee messed up if you broke your femur?....
but im used to those kind of questions because its also that way in other areas of my life....like why do i say i am poor if i live in a nice townhouse?......well i dont live in a bad enviroment but since im staying with my mother i have a nice place to live but if my mother died and i had to sell all "i" owned to make money to move .....you could probably get $800 dollars for what "i" own......and maybe another $2000-$3000 for what my mother owns
im 29 years oldand i didnt own a car until 3 years ago when my mother told me i could start paying her if i wanted to use the car for my pizza delivery job after i was told by a friend that i should try and apply there......after that she bought another car ....before that i walked to work every job i had or i dropped her off or she dropped me off to our jobs....and working in sales at JC Penny or working in fast food or at the auto auction or doing landscapping doesnt allow you enough to save up for anything or for a car......so its been kinda rough.....im 29 years ....my family has never had stabbility in money....we are doing good at this time as a whole but usually when we start to get a little something going for us things happen and circumstances change.....like when my parents divorced and me and my bro and my mother ended up living with another family and got kicked out for something my bro did and then we lived with another family and then we lived in low income housing in a good area in Nashville($400 a month for rent there) ....when i was young we got a little something going and got off of welfare and then my dad fell off a 3 story building at his construction job and hurt his back and we ended up back on welfare....so its just hard to come up when there is "no" outside family (cousins, grandparents, ect) that can help and when the little family you have gets destoyed from divorce..my father never gave my mother child support, but my mother was afraid of him because he threatened to do things (that i wont mention on here)......so she didnt report him.....my brother stayed in Tennessee after we moved back to Florida and lived with his girlfriends family up there but they broke up and he ended up homeless for the 3rd time in his life....so its been rough....i just dont want to pay those companies when the interest doesnt make the bill go down and in that case i am wasting my money
i cant save up for anything and i cant afford to go to school because my expenses need to be payed for somehow right now......
Please don't take what I am going to say as criticism, but it seems to me that you are looking for reasons to why you can't do more. Try looking for reasons why you CAN do more. Sure, you couldn't understand the teachers way of teaching, but that's not the reason you're delivering pizzas.
The things that happened to you, are in the past. Forget them and try to figure out ways to make progress in your life. And that includes letting your mother fend for herself for a while. Cheaper houses may not be as nice, but if it's all she can afford, then that's it. If you get a decent career started, you could do more for her. It would be an investment in the future for both of you.
I dont take critisism bad and i appreciate what you said.....i do know i need to get a better job....i just had to tell you about why i am in this job right now and i love it and it is good for my knee, and i think UPS or Fed EX would be good as well ....i applyed at UPS before and they werent hiring back then so i guess i just decided to stick with pizza delivery for a while because i was doing good until the last couple months since about Feburary...new supervisor changed the store and they hired too many people and we are all suffering right now.........
making just enough for the bills but not enough to pay for any thing else right now....people are always asking to work more shifts at work......i seriously have been thinking of moving on to another job but just dont know where ....and just have to think about it ....my whole thing with the loans is that i got my first bill a couple months ago and it was about $400 dollars and i payed then i payed the same the next month but then buisness at work went bad and i really cant afford to even pay the $400 or even $200 extra...
i am in the hole $200 dollars for rent from july and its now august and im lucky i live with my mother for that fact but i still owe her..it aint a free ride here...and i still owe on my phone bill for last month......thanx for listening and for your advice ill take what i can out of it and try to work on what i can
My feeling is this is weighing heavily on your mind, you otherwise wouldn't be looking for recommendations. I will agree with two of the previous posts here.
First, and foremost.. we all love our parents. I care about my father's welfare and well being and truly want him to be taken care of. Problem is, he doesn't want to take care of himself. He is nearly 60 yrs old, lives next door to his pushing 90 mother, can't pick up after himself, can't hardy pay for what he needs, and will never retire as he has no savings. I continually hear about how he doesn't have money, is getting a shut off notice of such n such, or is getting screwed by somebody. I've loaned him money (ie, gifted him money as it is family and I will never see it again), I've made recommendations on how to decrease his financial obligations so that he can better make ends meet, and I have tried to help make his home life easier all the while continuing to listen to how the world is against him. Then, I started thinking back into my childhood... there were so many friends who came and went all trying to help him in the same way. He has a teaching degree, but he decided in the early 90's he wouldn't apply to any teaching jobs because he automatically assumed he was too old to get hired. People pointed him towards teaching jobs that the districts were desperately trying to fill about an hour away, and he always turned down the opportunity because it was too far away. People recommended maybe he should try moving to a state that was on a boom and in need of good, experienced teachers, but he shot that down because he couldn't leave his mother - who would take care of her? (aside from his other siblings in the area that see her more often than he does...) Then he would get offered a real job working with a friend that had an 'in' with whichever company... and he'd turn it down saying he needed to be home for the children. The excuses have never ended. He is now working 40 hrs/week or more, finally, but with nothing to show for it except a couple broken down vehicles, a house that is in disrepair from years of neglect specifically related to not having the funds to repair it, barely making the bills, and overall never getting to enjoy his golden years approaching. It is a sad sight for me, BUT... I have come to the realization that he is his own worst enemy and there is NOTHING anyone can do to help him if he won't step up to the plate himself.
How does this relate to you?
You are currently at a fork in the road. You have a choice, and a very big choice. You can choose the path of excuses... how the world is against you, you can't catch a break, and you're overridden with debt...... OR........ You can step up to the plate, understand you're going to have to kick into 6th gear and make the best of what you have to work with.
Ask how many of us have worked 2 or 3 jobs at a time to make ends meet. Ask how many of us have gone days with literally a handful of hours worth of sleep because we have so much going on. But, it won't be forever. It is a short term solution to a long term goal. Right now I am looking at taking a job that will require me to work a shift that I am DEFINITELY not excited about... but, once I have the job, I can put in a request for either a shift change of a location transfer once there is an availability. It is going to be a short term inconvenience for both myself and my husband, but worth it in the long run.
To get by in today's world, sacrifices are essential. Make up your mind - either you're going back to school or you're not. If not, make a financial plan on how you're going to pay off the debts, even if it means you have to work several jobs all at once. If so, come up with a financial plan to 1. get the debt up to date, and 2. get enrolled back into class so you can re-establish yourself as a student. Unfortunately, this may require you to reduce your overall living expenses (hey, we had to do it too! it sucks, I know) and this would most likely mean leaving mom to fend for herself or both you and mom living somewhere more affordable. Again, short term solution for a long term goal. Most importantly.... don't make excuses why you CAN'T.... make a reason why you CAN. It will be worth it in the end.
i agree with what you say....the thing with the choice of living here in this place has nothin to do with me though....when my mother chose this place i wasnt in the descision.....if i move out it will basically be the same or more for my bills.....but i will be living with someone i dont trust as much ....and the schoool thing......i usually work from 5pm or 6pm somedays until 4pm or 5 pm in the morning and on my short days maybe i could find another job.....its hard though because in my buisness the short days sometimes turn into a long day....its unpredictable and it all depends on the amount of customers that call and that is how my boss decides when people go home.....its not a set schedule.....on the schedule it says you come in at 5pm , but if it gets busy you could be there until 2am in the morning and then there are nights when it says to come in at 5pm or 6pm and ill leave at 8pm....without knowing it was going to be that slow before i got there...and that kind of unpredictability makes it tough to get 2 jobs....no one at my store works (5pm - 12pm) its just not set like that......if its too busy and you go tell my boss you need to go to your other job....its either you quit this one because you arent a reliable employee and always have to leave when there is a rush which leaves them short handed or you wait till he is done cranking out those pizzas and leave when the rush dies down....i work in Lake buena vista and the store is open until 3am everyday....we get rushes at all times of the day because of the tourists in the area.....i worked at another store and usually they had one rush at dinner but at this place it can happen all times of the day and thats why my boss is afraid to let people go home.......i could get another job in the day going in around 8am or 11am or whevever......but if i go into a driving job with little sleep....i think it would be dangerous.....its not like im working in an office in which i have no degree for.....so i couldnt anyway.......so i guess my only solution is to get a different job so that i can work 2 jobs......i cant drive for a 9 hour shift on 2 or 3 hours of sleep....its not safe out there escpecially in my delivery area with all these tourists and the way they drive....stpping in the middle of the road to look at a map or the ones who walk right in the middle of the road and dont pay attention ....im just afraid that if i get another job with "my" skills that it will not pay enough to make my bills and then i would have to get the second job to be where im at now with the bills.......i make enough for the bills with this one job, but the loans are a little too much and i dont wanna risk this pay for 2 $7-$8 an hour jobs which will give me the same kinda hours......i usually get about 50 - 55 hours a week but lately its just been bad the last couple months.....normally delivering pizza can take care of alot of bills and the loans but the season and timing with them hiring so many people when the new managment came in has made it hard but i was kinda waiting things out to see if it will get back to normal....i just dont wanna leave this right now and work 2 jobs making the same money and come to find that things got back to like they were.....i think people will be quiting after the summer season and some will be layed off so maybe it will be better...i dont know.....
The problem here as I see it is that in 20 years, your mother will be in her late 70s, and you will be 59 and still driving a Pizza delivery route. And you will STILL owe your student loan. You are the only person that can change that. We can only offer hints as to what you should do.
I agree that it looks bad. The movement of being a driver seems to suit you.
There are many businesses that use drivers on a regular 40 hour week. UPS and Fed EX aren't the only ones. But keep trying with them.
Do you look at the Help Wanted ads in your paper? Our driver drove deliveries, helped stock shelves and was the only one in the company that could make decent coffee. He was paid well enough that he could support himself and his wife. Plus Health Insurance and year-end bonuses. What did he deliver?? Repair parts around to local garages. Big central warehouses for chains like CVS need drivers. But you are going to have to look for something like that. It's not going to fall into your lap. The type of deliveries that you are doing will never bring you any more than you are making right now. Bread and Milk gets delivered to supermarkets, someone has to do it. Even diaper service and garbage trucks need drivers. But you have to go find the jobs.
It's up to you. You have reached a point that you MUST do something. First, start looking for a better, more stable job. Second, see about arranging lower payments on your student loan. Third, and I am meddling here, I don't understand why you are paying your mother anything. What is she charging you for? It seems to me that as your mother, she should be willing to wait and help you find better employment. I think she needs to look for cheaper housing too.
This is the end of my advice. I know of no way that anything that I could say would encourage you to get up and DO something.
You had my empathy until you regally stated that interest on your student loans was throwing money away. Interest on a loan is not throwing money away. Interest represents the cost of borrowing the money. Fix your situation but don't rationalize your responsibilities away. You don't owe interest; people don't owe you a tip. If you spent half of your time focusing on what is possible rather than all the reasons for your situation you would do better.
The problem here as I see it is that in 20 years, your mother will be in her late 70s, and you will be 59 and still driving a Pizza delivery route. And you will STILL owe your student loan. You are the only person that can change that. We can only offer hints as to what you should do.
I agree that it looks bad. The movement of being a driver seems to suit you.
There are many businesses that use drivers on a regular 40 hour week. UPS and Fed EX aren't the only ones. But keep trying with them.
Do you look at the Help Wanted ads in your paper? Our driver drove deliveries, helped stock shelves and was the only one in the company that could make decent coffee. He was paid well enough that he could support himself and his wife. Plus Health Insurance and year-end bonuses. What did he deliver?? Repair parts around to local garages. Big central warehouses for chains like CVS need drivers. But you are going to have to look for something like that. It's not going to fall into your lap. The type of deliveries that you are doing will never bring you any more than you are making right now. Bread and Milk gets delivered to supermarkets, someone has to do it. Even diaper service and garbage trucks need drivers. But you have to go find the jobs.
It's up to you. You have reached a point that you MUST do something. First, start looking for a better, more stable job. Second, see about arranging lower payments on your student loan. Third, and I am meddling here, I don't understand why you are paying your mother anything. What is she charging you for? It seems to me that as your mother, she should be willing to wait and help you find better employment. I think she needs to look for cheaper housing too.
This is the end of my advice. I know of no way that anything that I could say would encourage you to get up and DO something.
Thanx for the advice.....it makes me think about options a little more so thanx for the help......i guess as a human it is in my nature to stick with what i know or love to do at this time and thats why i am still doing the pizza thing......but i know i will need a better job if buisness doesnt pick up again soon so you are right......
about my mother and me having to pay her...well .....at one point about 8-9 years ago me and my bro were paying the rent and everything because my mother lost her job......she was having a hard time finding as new one because she was overqualifyed.....she didnt have degrees or anything but had too much experience in computers so for whatever reason no one wanted to hire her and so she got into the circulation of magazines type of buisness where her skills came in handy but it was different then computer programming.......welll ......ive payed my mother rent since i was 18 and we supported her for a year and a half ......she says its not a free ride living with her....and i agree....i am 29 years old and should pay rent.......and up until 3-4 years ago i "really" had to help her out...and right now she is having problems at work and they are thinking of shutting down the magazine so i dont know what our situation will be in the next couple years.....i want to finish school just work too much to do all that studying......i used to have 5 classes and work part time for a couple semesters but in the electronics field it was too hard to study and do all that homework with that schedule because i was passing tests but didnt really retain most of the knowledge because i was always rushed to get things done....so now that i work full-time i am scarred to go back because to get student aid you need to take at least 2 classes and the level of classes i need to take are really hard and i would need to devote alot to them to pass and i dont wanna get in there and fail because you only get to fail a coarse twice then you arent allowed to take it again.....so i need to find a new job like you said......the thing with classes at DeVry is as you get deeper into your degree the classes are hard to find a good schedule for.....sometimes they only have one class during one time of day for certain classes and if i have to take two classes to get financial aid then they have to match up with my work schedule to......and the path i was in i ran into scheduling problems the last time i tryed to register.......my coarses are lab/written coarse which means i cant do online coarses because i already completed the classes you can do that with......
so i guess ill look for another job soon and then try going back to school because this schedule just doesnt cut it for going to work and school right now.........its kinda different strokes for different people........its ok with me to go to 2 jobs and have hardly any sleep but to go to a job and school and have little sleep is a risk....because with school you have to be focused and be able to absorb that new information....and with my learning style its really hard to have little sleep and learn new things....i will sit in a class and if im tired i will just be listening to the guy speak but not remember a darn word of what he said....thats just me....i cant try harder its just my brain and the way it works.......so i need to get to where i can have a schedule that is compatible in my final 5 classes because they are the hardest classes im going to have and i dont wanna risk it...so a new job with a daytime schedule will be better for me
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