[Mickeyl40]

Hello all,
I have a very intense story that I hope I will be able to find a meaningful answer to. A few years ago my dad was contacted by a man claiming to be his son. He told my mother that he did not believe it and did not want to discuss it at all. My dad was born on February 19, 1940. His mother died in his arms of heart failure at the age of 19 in 1959. My parents met in 1966 got married in 1966 and my older sister was born March 17, 1967 and I was born March 13, 1970. My grandfather remarried after his first wife (my grandmother) died and my father did not get along with his stepmother and my sister and I only saw my grandfather once per year when he came to our house for our birthday parties. When he came he came alone and I never met my father's stepmother. As an adult my mother told me that she had heard stories that during the time that my grandmother had died and when she met him that my grandfather had given my father money to get an abortion and that the woman may or may not have had the abortion. And then out of the blue this man calls and my father will not talk to him nor does he want to confirm whether or not this is his son. He tells my mother that he will not discuss this at all and do not bring it up to him again. My dad is going to be 80 next February and his health is very poor. I would like to find out if I do have a half brother and if so I would like to meet him. Clearly this man has been told that my father is his father. My dad is not the same person he was before he got old and sick but having 2 children myself I feel EVERYONE has the right to know who their father is if for nothing else but to give them some closure. I don't even have his first name and only have a period of time when he potentially could have been born. I am strongly guessing he would have been born in Brooklyn, NY between 1960 and 1966. I feel very sad that he has been searching probably most of his life and there is still no ending for him. If anyone has any ideas please post!

[TerraDown]

I don't know very much about people searching, but many here do. All I can think of is the phone call itself. Can you request the phone number for the month of the call, and then find it and call yourself? If it is a cellphone, and your father is 80, can you retrieve his phone and look up his older calls to the day your perhaps brother called?

Other than that, all I can think of is DNA on a database may find him. Input yours, and hope he has input his.

I do wish you luck, just a month or so ago, I was helped immensely in this forum with questions posed for my wifes' side of family.
Give them some time, the experts will arrive tomorrow

[daliowa]

I agree with TerraDown. Can you pinpoint the time frame in which your potential brother phoned?


If the call came to your father's landline phone than you may be able to acquire copies of phone bills from that time frame. We haven't had a landline for many years, but I seem to recall that each month's bill included a listing of phone calls. You could eliminate numbers from known people, i.e. family, friends, etc. and search numbers not familiar.


DNA is another good option. You may have to test with several different companies. Even if your brother did not do DNA testing with any of these companies, you may match with a sibling of your brother or a cousin.


Are there any relatives that may have more info?

[historyfan]

How was he contacted?
& get an Ancestry DNA test done to look for matches, because that's the quickest way to get clues. Ancestry is running a sale.

[howard555]

Yes DNA is a good option as mentioned.

I'd think very carefully before calling the number you if might find it yourself. It could be an anxious call on both ends. His wife might answer the phone. Using the phone number to get an address for a letter might need to be considered.

There are free sites for locating the names associated with phone numbers and vice versa.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"but having 2 children myself I feel EVERYONE has the right to know who their father is if for nothing else but to give them some closure."

I agree and step siblings should have the right to have a chance to at least know each other as friends. If they choose not to know each other it's for them to decide and not for others to decide.