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My husband's job relocated us to a new state and we left everything we knew to move here. My son has not adjusted well to the move and quite honestly, neither have I. I am constantly trying to keep an open mind for my son's benefit.
My son just completed a full year of school and is now on summer break. The area in which we live is semi rural and the housing is newer subs scattered everywhere. Our sub has mostly little kids and very few kids my son's age whom is 13. Throughout the school year I asked my son to find out where his friends live. My son informed me this is a big no no. He said if you ask kids where they live, they accuse you of being a stalker.
I asked my son, even if the kids are his friends will he still be accused of being a stalker? He said yes. So now that summer break has started my son is already bored and driving me a bit batty. He gets texts all day from his "friends" but still has no idea where they live. I told my son to flat out ask the kid on the other end where he lives so maybe they could hang out. The kid aka his "friend" replied, "Your a creeper". So my son was upset that I put pressure on him to ask this kid where he lives. I just don't get it. I am trying to figure out if its just something with the people here or its a generation thing? Has any parents dealt with this? I just find this sort of thing mind boggling. How does anyone make friends if this is the attitude?
it is a different world these days. I would take your sons lead, encourage him to continue to text. run the idea of a party for the kids by your son, see what he thinks of inviting them all for a BBQ afternoon. maybe do a gathering of a group of kids to go to the movies or a skate party or something. other than that I would get your son into an activity he might enjoy. baseball, or horseback riding, fishing something to occupy him with till school starts up again
Thanks everyone. We have invited the kids over. So far we have been rejected. The excuses seem legit, family reunion, weekend plans and so forth. We used to live in the city and it seemed to me it was easier to meet parents and kids back home. Here everything is so spread out and people seem so darn secretive. I have even felt it from the adults. The whole stalker thing has me baffled. I will not push my son to quiz anyone else. I will encourage him to invite people over but I think he is getting tired of being shot down. I am going to look into what activities are in the area.
The culture of the area may be "insider/outsider". In the little town my friend moved to last weekend, she says she learns more about people than she ever wanted to know within 5 minutes. They appear to be very open.
Understand there may be great cultural differences (yes, even in the great USA) between suburbs, city, neighborhoods, church groups, rural areas, states, etc.
Just contineu to be open and investigate every opportunity for connecting.
We moved her 4 yrs ago, my son now 13 has a small cirle of friends, but out side of a few of them I;m not sure where most of them live. In the old'en days you could look up address in the phone book, Now all my sons (and him 2) have there own cell phone, and I dont even have a phone book. Last year his school PTA, attepted to put out a student directory $5. but you had to 'opt into it' took them 4 months to put it all together, and out of 1,000 kids in his middle school only about 200 paretns 'opt ed in' to be included. So they have not tried it again. So he need to take the lead and they meet in places like the movies, the mall etc.
i think his "freinds" are ignorant little children who havent learned any manners of how to make new freinds and invite them over or meet at a park or something.
Also, Txt'ing and Computer safety. I remind my son, NOT to give out person info on the computer, txt, xbox. Even when he thinks/knows itsis his friends He gives out general info like i live in georgia, thats about it. If hes sure its a real friends he can relax a little, but he still needs to be safe.
i think his "freinds" are ignorant little children who havent learned any manners of how to make new freinds and invite them over or meet at a park or something.
I agree. We have moved a lot but never lived in this state before. We always managed to fit in, make friends and so forth in all the other places. But here, I constantly feel like we are lepers. I have never met so many socially awkward people in my life. My son was in a group at school that required parent participation. I helped out and the other parents were strange. I would try to start conversations with them and it was pulling teeth. The one mom and I started to talk but sometimes she would avoid me and other times she would chew my ear off. It was always touch n go. It really seemed like a lot of work. She was laid off and I am not working so we would talk about it. One day she came to the meeting excited saying she got a job and she was so relieved and excited. I told her congrats and asked her what she would be doing. I thought this was a normal question. She stared at me for a long time, very uncomfortable and then walked away. She acted like I asked for her social security number or how much money she makes or something. After that I stopped trying with her. I would see her, wave and keep on going. So I really feel for my son if this is how all the kids are at his school. Sounds like this social awkwardness starts at home.
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So my son was upset that I put pressure on him to ask this kid where he lives. I just don't get it. I am trying to figure out if its just something with the people here or its a generation thing? Has any parents dealt with this? I just find this sort of thing mind boggling. How does anyone make friends if this is the attitude?
She acted like I asked for her social security number or how much money she makes or something. After that I stopped trying with her. I would see her, wave and keep on going. So I really feel for my son if this is how all the kids are at his school. Sounds like this social awkwardness starts at home.
