Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Child support and visitation are two seperate things. To gain favor in front of a judge, your brother needs to pay SOMETHING towards child support.... even if he cannot make the full payment. This shows a willingness to do what he can. He needs to file for modification of support, but if he is able to work, minimum wage may be used as a baseline for support. He needs to have proof he has applied for jobs.
There are parts of history missing from your post. Child support does not take licenses from people who are just having a run of bad luck. My ex was over 10 grand behind and they never took his license. This did not happen overnight, or he did not attend court. Also, to get a TRO, there needs to be a reason. To get a permanent TRO there has to be proof, or your brother did not show up for court to contest it.
As for visitation, he needs to find a family court attorney or find out what forms he needs to file in order to establish a parenting plan which includes a visitation schedule. Even with a TRO in place, he can designate a person to do pick up/ drop off so he is not in direct contact with the mother. He may be barred from contact, but an agent (lawyer) acting oh his behalf can contact the mother in order to establish a parenting plan.
You are right, DFCS does not establish custody/visitation. They are not interested in that part of the relationship. They are only agents to make sure the child is provided for.
When in front of the judge, it would be a good idea for your brother to have proof of the attempts he has made to remain in contact with his daughter (returned letters/birthday gifts, call logs, etc).
Before you assume that I am trying to blast your brother, I am all for father's rights. My DH is a custodial parent of his kids. I am just trying to give you a realistic view of what he's looking at.
Well she filed last year around this time for child support and he was able to make 1 payment in full and half a payment the next month and he lost his job after that and moved to a different state and was working but by then they had taking his license in Ga away from him so he was afraid to try and send any money since the DFCS was the one handling it. He did not want them knowing where he was so they could get him arrested. His ex pulled a stunt in November of last year claiming she needed him to watch his daughter for 2 weeks and needed his address well later that month he gets slapped with TPO papers. She claims he was stalking her yet she lives a good 250 miles from him and in a different state and the only car he had available was his GF's car. In another words she lied to get it which I should not have put that past her.He has stayed in contact with her up until last November when she put the TPO against him and he is barred from any contact. She is merely trying to push him out of his daughters life and has the support of her parents who have money which my brother does not. I have found a pro bono lawyer office I am going to contact tomorrow to try and get something moving with this its only fair he be giving a chance to know his daughter.I wish I could help him with some Child Support but I am in the middle of a move myself with 2 kids and a wife as well so can't do much. He said that the judge told him since he was not working at the exact court date when CS was issued they based it on minimum wage at 40 hours a week which is bull crap because he got his job 2 weeks after the court date and was making minimum wage but was not even getting 30 hours a week. It just goes to show the courts are biased in the females favor. I have known this and I am glad I am married it would be harder for my wife to take off with the kids if something like this happened to us and it ended. I remember my mother getting CS and my dad paid 320$ for 3 kids in the late 90's I can not see how my brother is having to pay 235$ for 1 kid now.
Well she filed last year around this time for child support and he was able to make 1 payment in full and half a payment the next month and he lost his job after that and moved to a different state and was working but by then they had taking his license in Ga away from him so he was afraid to try and send any money since the DFCS was the one handling it. He did not want them knowing where he was so they could get him arrested. His ex pulled a stunt in November of last year claiming she needed him to watch his daughter for 2 weeks and needed his address well later that month he gets slapped with TPO papers. She claims he was stalking her yet she lives a good 250 miles from him and in a different state and the only car he had available was his GF's car. In another words she lied to get it which I should not have put that past her.He has stayed in contact with her up until last November when she put the TPO against him and he is barred from any contact. She is merely trying to push him out of his daughters life and has the support of her parents who have money which my brother does not. I have found a pro bono lawyer office I am going to contact tomorrow to try and get something moving with this its only fair he be giving a chance to know his daughter.I wish I could help him with some Child Support but I am in the middle of a move myself with 2 kids and a wife as well so can't do much. He said that the judge told him since he was not working at the exact court date when CS was issued they based it on minimum wage at 40 hours a week which is bull crap because he got his job 2 weeks after the court date and was making minimum wage but was not even getting 30 hours a week. It just goes to show the courts are biased in the females favor. I have known this and I am glad I am married it would be harder for my wife to take off with the kids if something like this happened to us and it ended. I remember my mother getting CS and my dad paid 320$ for 3 kids in the late 90's I can not see how my brother is having to pay 235$ for 1 kid now.
Have you priced health insurance, child care? I am positive that 235 doesn't even cover half. but that is beside the point.
I have sat in child support court many many many times. They do not issue warrants for arrest for non-compliance... they order them for contempt of court (for not showing up). The TRO sounds bogus, but if he did not defend the action, the judge has no information but what the ex gives him. The judge has to go with the available information. Your brother has not made wise choices and the ex has taken advantage of the situation. Until he steps up, he is going to continue to be taken advantage of. Part of stepping up is to go to court when he is supposed to.
Well she filed last year around this time for child support and he was able to make 1 payment in full and half a payment the next month and he lost his job after that and moved to a different state and was working but by then they had taking his license in Ga away from him so he was afraid to try and send any money since the DFCS was the one handling it. He did not want them knowing where he was so they could get him arrested. His ex pulled a stunt in November of last year claiming she needed him to watch his daughter for 2 weeks and needed his address well later that month he gets slapped with TPO papers. She claims he was stalking her yet she lives a good 250 miles from him and in a different state and the only car he had available was his GF's car. In another words she lied to get it which I should not have put that past her.He has stayed in contact with her up until last November when she put the TPO against him and he is barred from any contact. She is merely trying to push him out of his daughters life and has the support of her parents who have money which my brother does not. I have found a pro bono lawyer office I am going to contact tomorrow to try and get something moving with this its only fair he be giving a chance to know his daughter.I wish I could help him with some Child Support but I am in the middle of a move myself with 2 kids and a wife as well so can't do much. He said that the judge told him since he was not working at the exact court date when CS was issued they based it on minimum wage at 40 hours a week which is bull crap because he got his job 2 weeks after the court date and was making minimum wage but was not even getting 30 hours a week. It just goes to show the courts are biased in the females favor. I have known this and I am glad I am married it would be harder for my wife to take off with the kids if something like this happened to us and it ended. I remember my mother getting CS and my dad paid 320$ for 3 kids in the late 90's I can not see how my brother is having to pay 235$ for 1 kid now.
Do you mean he is ordered to pay DFCS??
If DFCS is the agency behind the push for child support,, I believe that is because she is receiving state aid for the child- AFDC, food stamps, insurance. They want your brother to cover this cost.
Yes my niece gets medicaid so I assume that is why they are involved. Now I am curious if he ever went to court. They did not issue a warrant but they did suspend his license in Ga. I know this for a fact because he was just pulled over with his GF about 2 weeks ago they didn't take him to jail but they did take his license the he had failed to turn in.
Well she filed last year around this time for child support and he was able to make 1 payment in full and half a payment the next month and he lost his job after that and moved to a different state and was working but by then they had taking his license in Ga away from him so he was afraid to try and send any money since the DFCS was the one handling it. He did not want them knowing where he was so they could get him arrested. His ex pulled a stunt in November of last year claiming she needed him to watch his daughter for 2 weeks and needed his address well later that month he gets slapped with TPO papers. She claims he was stalking her yet she lives a good 250 miles from him and in a different state and the only car he had available was his GF's car. In another words she lied to get it which I should not have put that past her.He has stayed in contact with her up until last November when she put the TPO against him and he is barred from any contact. She is merely trying to push him out of his daughters life and has the support of her parents who have money which my brother does not. I have found a pro bono lawyer office I am going to contact tomorrow to try and get something moving with this its only fair he be giving a chance to know his daughter.I wish I could help him with some Child Support but I am in the middle of a move myself with 2 kids and a wife as well so can't do much. He said that the judge told him since he was not working at the exact court date when CS was issued they based it on minimum wage at 40 hours a week which is bull crap because he got his job 2 weeks after the court date and was making minimum wage but was not even getting 30 hours a week. It just goes to show the courts are biased in the females favor. I have known this and I am glad I am married it would be harder for my wife to take off with the kids if something like this happened to us and it ended. I remember my mother getting CS and my dad paid 320$ for 3 kids in the late 90's I can not see how my brother is having to pay 235$ for 1 kid now.
So your brother paid nothing after the 1 1/2 payments? Nothing. Who does he think is going to take care of his baby? Me? Not to sound too harsh but your brother needs to man up and take care of his responsibilities. Your post is nothing but excuses and "poor me" reasons why it's not his fault.
Plus - you are not helping matters by telling him $200 is too much to pay.
$235.00 a month is 60.00 a week... I pay more for that in daycare every week alone. Let alone other necessities like food, clothing, medical and all the little extra that add up... While I dont agree with her witholding the child it really boils down to its your brothers fault she's going to keep pushing as long as he lets her. He needs to stand up for himself and he does that by trying to get a job (have proof thats he's trying) and being informed and go to court and fight for his rights.
PS. I know a separated couple both really good parents daughter lives with mom but dad is very very active in her life. Mom kept taking dad to court for raises in child support (he paid more than triple what your brother pays I say this because it does go by the salary) until one day he got tired of just sitting around waiting for her to take him to court so he started taking her to court demanding even more visitation, Longer vacations for the summer months... (he had always left things up to mom since she is a good mom and he has always be active in his daughters life) but since she wanted to keep pushing the envelope on CS he was going to keep pushing the envelope on visitation and sure enough she stopped they havent been to court in years now.... Point of the story the Father cant be afraid to stand up for his rights and if he is than he should complain about not having any rights.
Yes my niece gets medicaid so I assume that is why they are involved. Now I am curious if he ever went to court. They did not issue a warrant but they did suspend his license in Ga. I know this for a fact because he was just pulled over with his GF about 2 weeks ago they didn't take him to jail but they did take his license the he had failed to turn in.
If the DCFS is the one pushing it in court, the ex may have nothing to do with enforcement. She does not get any of the support until the state is paid back for any services the child receives. So, it may not be the ex's "fault" that support was enforced at all.
I don't know how Georgia courts are, but where I am, as long as the non-custodial parent actually shows up to court (usually every 3 or so months when no support is being paid) and shows how they are looking for a job or otherwise attempting to financially support their child, then the court will bend over backwards to work with the NCP, and all the NCP has to do is show up.
As for now.... what your brother needs to do is go to the DCFS with something... some kind of good will gesture. To get him back into their good graces. To look like a parent who is willing to do the best he can.
As for visitation, is there or has there ever been a parenting plan? If not, then google "parenting plan" and try to write one up. I will PM you a website for a standard form. Make sure to include that the plan be reviewed every 3 or so years in order to make adjustments. Your brother can probably file the form himself with the courts.... call the clerk of court and ask how.
I wish your brother good luck! Am not sure what he can do to see his child…the government seems to backup these vengeful, money grabbing mothers who often don’t even treat the children properly! He will either have to dish out all kinds of money or maybe apply for free judicial help, if it exists for MEN!
Am trying to help a friend in a similar situation; he just drove 1200kms through icy mountains to go spend X-mas break with his 10 month old son and the mom started freaking out and making threats; she hadn't been answering the phone & texts! What does a 10 month old think & FEEL WHEN THE MOM is freaking out because dad wants to bond with him (he pays child support)! we are keeping track of the story as it unfolds; taping of the conversations and threats, a written story of all the visiting attempts & all the important information in case missy decides to take him to court!
I’m really starting to believe that many of these women are money hoarders who want to sit around all day and have someone pay for everything!
If people really wanted what’s best for the children they wouldn’t submit them to these horrific situations – I’ve read of children who want to visit the estranged parent and they are totally forbidden by the vindictive breeder. Better for a child to be loved by many than by a mere selfish few!
Good luck to you & your brother in your quest!
I agree with your opinion regarding the father having to stand up for his rights!
You also say that 60bucks a week doesn't cover all the costs, but this separation business isn't about the absent parent paying for everything: it's a 50/50 agreement...when the child was conceived the parents were probably living under the same roof...I do know though that many women impregnate just to have a financial supporter; if this isn't the truth it certainly seems that way to me!
Of course daycare is expensive, but we already know that when we decide to have a child!
I knew a thirtyish woman who was on welfare, had 3 toddlers who went to government paid daycare, had a live in lover, had all kinds of restaurant food delivered to the house and when I went in there one day to collect the rent I saw the wall (at the level of the children's hands) looking like a muddy horse-trail...she didn't even wash the dirt off the walls...what in heckle peckle did that young whale do all day while the kids were at the daycare paid for by the tax payer! She must have been merely a F'ing machine!
The law seems to overprotect these money hungry women (some of them have a kid from each father & are collecting from every one of their male preys)
Equal rights, right!?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I believe that is because she is receiving state aid for the child- AFDC, food stamps, insurance. They want your brother to cover this cost.
