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No, she can't have one because, in my opinion, an 11 year old doesn't need a "facial" or a mani/pedi.
Please, tell me, why WOULD you let an 11 year old wear makeup or nail polish?
Your child, your rules.
On the flip side, she is not a toddler anymore.
There is a HUGE difference b/w allowing a 11yr old to wear some mascara and nail polish and taking her to a day spa for a $200 treatment.
I don't agree with mani/pedi birthday parties for 9yr olds that I see all the time.
I also see the issues that start to arise when a parent holds their child down for so long and do not cut some of the apron strings to allow them to appropriately fit in with their peers.
It's a slippery slope but it can be handled in a way that allows a child to feel they are growing up yet still have rules.
I have 6 kids- 3 boys and 3 girls. The boys came first and when the girls came--- I was SOOO excited to have someone (besides friends/family) to share my LOVE of make-up, hair care, nail stuff, shopping, etc. with.
On Saturday, my girls went to get a haircut at a childrens hair salon. Haircut, style and nail polish. This is something they enjoy and I see no harm in it. That afternoon, while Dad took care of the kids, I had a pedicure from my favorite nail tech. I LOVE getting my nails done!!!!! I spent 2.5 hours at my hair-stylist this morning. I LOVE getting my hair done!!!!! It's a given my girls will be high-maintenance.
I let them play with make-up. I routinely polish their nails. I do not allow make-up for school. I did brush a very light pink eye-shadow on my 5 year olds eye's before church on Sunday morning. And straightened her hair.
I see nothing wrong with a spa day for little girls. As long as you aren't spending the grocery money to fund it.
Every parent has their own level of comfort regarding aspects of growing up and even different interpretations of those aspects. There is no absolute right or wrong in many of these things, however I believe there needs to be a certain level of respect for those who believe differently whether or not one agrees.
There are plenty of things that come to mind regarding girls in particular besides nail polish/makeup that people can feel strongly about regarding when and how they allow them to occur.
Ear piercing, jewelry, bras, hosiery, bikini/thong underwear, shaving, clothing styles, heel height, hair styles, perfumes/cologne, deodorant/skin care, cell phones, computers, dating, driving and on and on and on.
Personally I cringe inside every time I see a newborn baby girl with pierced ears. It's acceptable to and even expected by many people and also very common in certain cultures. I don't agree with it and didn't choose that for any of my 3 daughters and that's my choice. I definitely don't criticize that parent for a different choice they made, no matter how I feel about it. Only if I am asked directly will people know that I don't agree with that choice.
I agree that an 11 yr old (my third daughter is 12) doesn't have a need to wear make up, but I don't consider lip gloss makeup anymore than I consider chapstick makeup. Other people think differently.
I don't consider nail polish any different than jewelry, shoes hairbands/bows or purses. It's a temporary accessory to a particular outfit for a particular occasion.
When I read the OP about a spa day, I didn't jump to the conclusion that a little girl would be getting the same treatment that an adult would get, but instead knew that a little girl might get a lesson on skin care, nail care and appropriate choices of nail polish colors. Not a big deal as it's something little girls have been doing for decades, it's just recently moved from doing it at home to a business on occasion.
To some degree I have issues with beauty pagents of any kind. But more so when it's for young kids. I know that beauty pagents are a way of showing grace, well fit bodies and that beautiful people also have brains and not air between their ears. But .....
I guess parents try to push the brains are important thing but if you've got it, flaunt it is the message of the wider world. And to a degree why not. Should we say only smart people have a place in society? Also good looking girls seem to have more self confidence and are happier. So if showing them selves off helps them to feel better about themselves well good on em.
Mind you I don't think that this has anything to do with the thread topic of making kids grow up too fast. In a way we are making them grow slow. Only a few hundred years ago, kids were working and getting married as they entered their teen years.
Onto the topic of girls, well they like to play dressups and with makeup and so on. Boys also do boy things that they see older males doing like they run rund and play firemen and racing car drivers but for some reason people only get wound up about girls. But hey it makes for a good conversation over a cup of coffee when the kids are playing.
Free formaldehyde in concentrations of 1-2 percent is still permitted, but acetates, toluene, nitrocellulose, acrylic, and polyamide resins are now used to structurally reinforce the nail plate. Some products actually contain 1 percent nylon fibers and are known as fibered nail hardeners. Other additives purported to strengthen the nail include hydrolyzed proteins, modified vegetable extracts, glycerin, propylene glycol , and metal salts.
Here are a few facts about these common toxic nail polish ingredients: Toluene
Toluene is a human reproductive and developmental toxin. It may affect the nervous system with symptoms like tiredness, confusion, weakness, drunken-type actions, and memory loss. It is thought to cause liver damage and skin irritation. In high levels it may affect the kidneys. Toluene has been linked to birth defects in laboratory animals. Formaldehyde
Formaldehyde is a carcinogen and a common indoor air pollutant because its resins are used in many construction materials. Formaldehyde has caused cancer in the nose and throats of lab animals. Inhaling the fumes can result in watery eyes, headache, burning in the throat, and labored breathing. Dibutyl Phthalate
Phthalates are used to soften plastic, and are known to affect hormone function. Studies have linked phthalates to early puberty in girls and low sperm counts in men. Environmental groups claim phthalate exposure may contribute to the rising number of uterine problems in women and testicular cancer in men. It could also be one of the contributing factors to a rise in infertility in both sexes. Repeated and heavy exposure to dibutyl phthalate may cause nausea and/or vomiting, tearing of the eyes, dizziness, and headache. Long-term exposures may cause damage to kidneys and the liver. Pregnant women must consider that dibutyl phthalate may harm the developing fetus and the male testes.
For the least risk, consider an alternative to the standard manicure with nail polish. First f ile, wash, and soak your nails. Then soften, clean, and shape the cuticles. Try soaking your nails in organic apple cider vinegar or simple warm water, and apply almond oil to the cuticle area. Buff with several fine grade buffing files (always in one direction, and only on dry nails) and admire your shiny, natural manicure. Moisturize your hands, and think about all of the toxins you just avoided. Beauty does not have to be dangerous.
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The essence is the same - only the degrees are different.
Little girls are beautiful naturally. And yes, 11 yo is still a little girl. Why would I want to "womanize" her? I could come up with many arguments against this practice, mainly related to commercial pressures. And those are solid.
But this is not even the main reason I, personally, avoid them.
In many cultures, such practices are a sign of poor taste, period. I was raised that way, I see it that way. While "taste" is relative, subjective and debatable - I still cannot help going "yuk" when I see that chipped nail polish on little and often dirty hands. What to say of mascara, high heels, perfume and the like.
A major no.
In many cultures, girls "beautifying" themselves in a myriad of ways is part and parcel of said culture.
I was raised with the rule "no make up til xx age" and I still find it a bit authoritarion and unneeded.
I don't think anyone is wrong for NOT allowing their kids to do these things, but I find it curious that those who don't let their kids do it think NO KIDS should do it. Silly.
I see nothing wrong with kids wearing nail polish.... I am in my 30s and wore nail polish as a kid. I loved having my mother paint my nails....and my grandmother and aunt for that matter! I do it with my kids.... so does my Mother! I don't want them wearing makeup but come on.... nail polish? I see nothing wrong with it.... Also, I used to take my little cousins to get thier nails done as a fun bday outing.... they loved it.... it was a great bonding experience and it made them feel special.... Here in Rochester NY we have a place called Sweet and Sassy.... they do mani-pedi's and updos for kids... and they are starting a pirate one for boys.....
My girls have had the mani and pedi there..... no way would they be allowed to do the makeup.... but I don't really see anything wrong with this at all.....
What I think is more inappropriate is kids clothing..... I am a Lands End Mom.... some H&M.... but the department stores want the kids looking like they are going to a club..... now if there should be a fight to stop something it should be the Jr Hoochy Mamma Clothes.....
Specifically little girls. As I was driving home this morning, I hear an ad for a "day spa" for girls 8 years and up... .they have facials, manicures, pedicures, etc etc etc..... Please tell my why an 8 year old would need a facial? Or a mani? Or a pedi????
I've never been to a spa, but I would think these things should be geared more toward older girls (16 & above) who are out with their friends for a 'girls day' or something. There is no reason that an 8 year old needs any of this nonsense.
Nobody NEEDS this kind of nonsense. That said, my 7yo and I have gone and gotten our nails done together. They didn't do a real mani on her with cuticle cutting and everything. Just a file and paint.
It was fun. After that we went to lunch.
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My DD is 11 and I have never even allowed her to wear nail polish because it's not necessary. Yes, I allow her lip gloss but that's it. No other makeup, nail polish or anything else.
Am I out of the loop on something here?????
I don't see the harm in nail polish. A lot in life is not "necessary". Our trampoline in the back yard is not "necessary". Nor are the pokemon cards. Nor is my creme brulee torch. All fun. None necessary.
Different strokes.
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