Wow I have a difficult decision to make (infants, support, toddler)
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What does your husband think? I don't know why your health insurance wouldn't cover this child like any other adopted child....I do think if you do it it could be a very complicated relationship with your sister. Ultimately, how your sister handles her pregnancy will be her own decision and not something that is up to you. You have to decide what is right for your family. This decision is not one to take lightly.
It's all up to your sister in the end. It's wrong to condemn her for wanting an abortion. It's wrong to convince her to have a child she does not wish to keep.
As a sister, she will need your support in her decision. If you judge her from the start, she will not be comfortable leaning on you in the end.
As for you adopting her baby: You are making the decision to either accept her baby, or not. Even though SHE was who made the mistake of getting pregnant, it is the same decision she has to make herself.
My sister is pregnant. She has given many selfish reasons to abort the baby, she refuses to put it up for adoption. This morning I wake up with a text from her asking if I would want to adopt her baby. I have one child (almost 2) and I wasn't planning on having anymore. I urged her to have this baby and now I feel she's turning it around on me...if I don't want to adopt her baby she will probably have an abortion. There are just a lot of questions that are running through my head like can we afford another one, we live in a small 2 bedroom apartment, will the Army cover this baby under health insurance, one question that really gets me is when/how do we explain that he/she was adopted and that his/her aunt is her biological mom? She said I can change my mind up until it is born. Now I think I am turning into the selfish one, thinking about the late nights and going through the toddler years again. But her baby is my niece or nephew and I think he or she deserves a chance at life. I don't know what to do.
As an apparent anti-choice proponent it's time for you to put up or shut up. You don't have any moral leg to stand on telling someone else what she should do unless you are wiling to step up to the plate. If you don't, then you have no right to criticize whatever she decides to do.
As an apparent anti-choice proponent it's time for you to put up or shut up. You don't have any moral leg to stand on telling someone else what she should do unless you are wiling to step up to the plate. If you don't, then you have no right to criticize whatever she decides to do.
There are thousands of prospective adoptive parents in the US. I am sure that if your sister gives the baby up for adoption he/'she will have fine parents. Why is she against adoption?
As for you adopting the baby, perhaps now you will see why so many women choose abortion and will be a little more understanding of their dilemma. Ultimately, it is really up to you to decide whether you want another baby, just like it is up to your sister decide whether she wants one. Nobody should make that choice for you or your sister.
Figures all the pro-choice people would come out of the wood work. How do I get a thread locked?
I can't speak for anyone else here, just myself. All I want you to see is why someone would consider it and to find some compassion in your heart for them, especially your sister.
We are talking about your sister here. She needs you and needs your compassion, not your judgement. You have offered your judgment. She has responded to your plea. She has taken in your point of view and I find it ironic that you are faced with the same dilemma that she is faced with.
If I got pregnant at this point in time, not wanting another baby, I wouldn't consider abortion. I would just have to deal with it. But this situation is a bit different.
I don't think it would be a good idea for you to adopt this child with your present attitude and especially there are so many folks who are desparate to adopt. Also adopting a family member's child can really affect the whole family dymanic. But it has been done if everybody is open and mature about the situation but it sounds to me you just don't want another child and you would not be doing your sister or her child any favor.
Let her make up her own mind. This is not "on you" whatever she decides.
I had a neighbor who refused to adopt her son's baby (kid was 17) for a whole list of reasons but mostly because she claimed they had been looking forward to retirement and did not want to raise another child at their "old" age of 46. I was standing there at age 55 with two infants adopted from Vietnam and wondered if she knew what she was saying. Eventually another family member adopted the child and it has been nothing but friction and rancor since the kid was born. Everybody has a different idea of how it should be raised, how often the young bio parents can see the child and how often and everybody now admits they should have let some non family member adopt the child.
After the initial shock of this news and the pressure you are self imposing, you will probably see that letting your sister take care of her own life is the best course of action. You do not owe it to her to adopt her child but I would think you would want to support her no matter what she decides. This is not an easy time for her and family members sitting in judgment is the last thing she needs.
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