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I talked to my mother fairly often, but not multiple times per day. I'd say that I checked in with her a few times a week at most---sometimes going a few weeks without calling.
She was the first person I would call with good news (like a promotion, job offer, etc.) and the first person I would call in a crisis.
My family also got together on Sundays. My siblings and I would bring our families to our parent's house every sunday for the entire afternoon and dinner.
Daughter here, and my parents live about 2000 miles away. I probably talk to my mother once a month or less. We also exchange the occasional e-mail. Honestly, we have trouble connecting, so it's usually a brief conversation when we do talk. I chat with my father via IM once every couple of weeks. I do not participate in Facebook or anything similar. My daughter and mother e-mail frequently.
As for photos...guilty! I always forget to take photos. My kids are going to think they didn't have a childhood when they get to my age.
We have two sons - 29 and 27 - both very busy - both happily married - both with great jobs and multiple hobbies that keep them moving and HAPPY
We hear from the oldest a few times a month - but sometimes not that often - and we agree with him that in his case "no news is GOOD news" - since we know we would be the first to hear if something were amiss in his world. He races cars and is an active hunter - so getting frequent phone calls from him makes my heart jump a bit - I can't help asking immediately "is everything ok?!"
The youngest son has always kept in close contact - several times a week - either phone, email and/or text message - and now SKYPE (which is GREAT with the new grandson).
I think it's okay to let our grown kids live their lives and not worry or expect constant checking in......as long as they know they CAN reach out to us and find us 'there'.
Personally - I talk to my parents several times a week - it's who "I" am and my parents expect to hear from me that often - but my brother and sister - not so much - if they hear from them once a month, that's okay by them Hey - to each his own I suppose.
I think each person is unique in the way they communicate 'back home'.
Adding - on the photos - I am the photobug.....if you are around me - you can BET you will be photographed and my pictures are posted on pbase.com for all the family and friends to enjoy! We can also enjoy photos from the youngest son, on his photobucket.com account.
OOOO..... this is GREAT!! I just love hearing everyone's stories and differences!! Ahh Sunday Dinners, Hopes, we did that too! I can remember them growing up amd for a long time when my family was just starting out we would still make the occational Sunday Dinner. When my mom got sick everything changed.
I really didn't mean to imply that I expect my girls to call me as much as I called my mom. I know that what me and my mom was different, and that it was special because she was sick. They are very busy with their lives, I just want to know they are alright and happy. I guess I worry that I might not KNOW when the good stuff happens or the bad. I guess with good reason, one of my daughters had a bad break up. I didn't know for weeks. My other daughter changed her phone number, I never recieved the text message, so kinda found out by accident through a miss dialed phone call. She also moved and didn't tell me!! SOOO I guess I just wanted to know if it is just ME or if other adult children are too busy too!!
Ahh Sunday Dinners, Hopes, we did that too! I can remember them growing up amd for a long time when my family was just starting out we would still make the occational Sunday Dinner. When my mom got sick everything changed.
Both of my parents are gone now. When my mother got sick, we still had Sunday dinners. We all just converged upon the house and cooked it ourselves. Since they died, we no longer get together on Sundays---just holidays.
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Originally Posted by DorrieMA
I guess I worry that I might not KNOW when the good stuff happens or the bad. I guess with good reason, one of my daughters had a bad break up. I didn't know for weeks. My other daughter changed her phone number, I never recieved the text message, so kinda found out by accident through a miss dialed phone call. She also moved and didn't tell me!! SOOO I guess I just wanted to know if it is just ME or if other adult children are too busy too!!
I have to say that it does sound a bit strange that your children don't keep you up-to-date on how to reach them. It also does seem weird that they have blocked you from their facebook accounts. Do you have any idea why? Is it possible that they think you're judgemental? Do you think they're afraid to call and say they broke up or moved because they fear they'll have to listen to lecturing? Is it possible they don't notify you of changed phone numbers because you call too often?
Does your oldest daughter talk to the younger two regularly? Since you do have regular contact with her, you can probably feel confident in knowing that you'll hear how they are doing through her. I wouldn't worry so much about the 19 and 21 year olds. They're still young and enjoying their freedom. When they become parents, they're going to call you for advice.
I think it's best to just get on with your new life as a mom with an empty nest. Fill your life with things that interest you---friends and hobbies. Let your children go. Be there for them when you hear from them. Don't lay on the guilt. Just be happy to hear from them.
If it helps, my mom is one of the first people I call with good news. I think that's pretty common. My BF talks to at least one of his parents once a day. I think I would go crazy if mine contacted me that often.
My daughter is 23 and in grad school. We talk (the old-fashioned way) on the phone, maybe once a month? We are both pretty quiet and hate the telephone.
Technology is great for us. We'd rather email, text, or twitter.
We stay in touch a few days per week using those other means.
talking to your mom 4-5 times per day is excessive. (for reference, I'm in my mid-30's have 2 kids. parents are in their 60's). I probably talk to my mom on the phone 2/week and e-mail in between.
What did you do on facebook that would have made her block you? Or is she giving too much info on her status, and didn't want you to see? My mom joined FB and she started criticizing my posts. I told her if she didn't stop I would unfriend her. If you expect to talk to your kids 5 times/day, you are probably smothering them.
OOOO..... this is GREAT!! I just love hearing everyone's stories and differences!! Ahh Sunday Dinners, Hopes, we did that too! I can remember them growing up amd for a long time when my family was just starting out we would still make the occational Sunday Dinner. When my mom got sick everything changed.
I really didn't mean to imply that I expect my girls to call me as much as I called my mom. I know that what me and my mom was different, and that it was special because she was sick. They are very busy with their lives, I just want to know they are alright and happy. I guess I worry that I might not KNOW when the good stuff happens or the bad. I guess with good reason, one of my daughters had a bad break up. I didn't know for weeks. My other daughter changed her phone number, I never recieved the text message, so kinda found out by accident through a miss dialed phone call. She also moved and didn't tell me!! SOOO I guess I just wanted to know if it is just ME or if other adult children are too busy too!!
The hard part about being a parent is when they grow up, you really are moved to the back burner. They think about you now and then but often get too busy. When they have kids of their own, you can become a little more important again, at least as a babysitter.
I worked with a woman who called her mother constantly but to fight and argue, half the time she'd slam the phone down hanging up on her but later would call her back to either chat or fight some more.
It's like anything - you can't force it so you may need to move on a bit, just like you do with other adults. They call or they don't, but you just take whatever, be happy with whatever and move on.
OOOO..... this is GREAT!! I just love hearing everyone's stories and differences!! Ahh Sunday Dinners, Hopes, we did that too! I can remember them growing up amd for a long time when my family was just starting out we would still make the occational Sunday Dinner. When my mom got sick everything changed.
I really didn't mean to imply that I expect my girls to call me as much as I called my mom. I know that what me and my mom was different, and that it was special because she was sick. They are very busy with their lives, I just want to know they are alright and happy. I guess I worry that I might not KNOW when the good stuff happens or the bad. I guess with good reason, one of my daughters had a bad break up. I didn't know for weeks. My other daughter changed her phone number, I never recieved the text message, so kinda found out by accident through a miss dialed phone call. She also moved and didn't tell me!! SOOO I guess I just wanted to know if it is just ME or if other adult children are too busy too!!
I talk to or email my parents once a week. Maybe more if needed. I won't add them to FB though. Personally I tend not to give too many details about friends and romantic relationships thing just due to issues stemming from my teenage years.
However, I do find it weird one didn't even tell you she moved or about the phone number change.
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(which is GREAT with the new grandson).
Hey - to each his own I suppose.
