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I am a 50 year old woman with no children. I was at an upscale mall on Saturday afternoon. I came out of one of the restroom stalls and was washing my hands. A girl of somewhere around 16 to maybe as old as 19 or 20 was leaning against the bathroom counter of the sinks, standing with a hairbrush in her hand and making no moves to leave. She was directly watching me wash my hands. I ignored her for a few seconds but then I looked in the mirror at her looking at me. She gave me a long look from the top of my head to my toes, and then actually turned her nose up at me! I turned and looked at her in disgust, and only then did she lower her eyes and take her gaze off me. I threw the paper towels in the trash and took my purse and left.
I was shocked - I did not know this girl or anything about her. I had never met her before, but it was as if she was very familiar with me and I felt "judged." (I don't work in a job that deals with the public.)
Before I came to the mall I had taken a shower and blown-dry my hair, put on makeup, had on a clean pair of stretch denim jeans and a woman's tee from Target and Reef flip-flops. I don't feel that there was anything wrong with the way I looked.
She and I were both of the same race - white. She seemed to be upper-middle class, long blonde hair, jeans and tee shirt also.
My question for all you moms is: Do your daughters do this ever? Is this a "new way" to show disrespect? Does your daughter or daughters do this with their friends? Do they do it to you? All I know was, it blew my mind.
I have never "stared" at someone in a restroom, even when I was this girl's age! I did my business and got out! I never wanted to be around adults!
Also, I don't feel like I'm an ultra-sensitive person or have a victim's "aura" about me. It was just wierd.
Um...you perhaps are 'ultra-sensitive'. People can give you the once over for all sorts of reasons...if I had a conniption every time that happened, I wouldn't go anywhere.
Um...you perhaps are 'ultra-sensitive'. People can give you the once over for all sorts of reasons...if I had a conniption every time that happened, I wouldn't go anywhere.
I don't have a daughter, but I have in recent years worked with girls that age, and do frequently come in contact with teenage girls in various settings. I think this is an isolated incident, and not related to any particular trend with teenage girls. Yes, she was rude, but most girls aren't like that, and unfortunately a girl who is rude at age 18 (or whatever age she is now) is just as likely to be rude at 30, or 40, of 50, or so on. It's not an age thing.
I would say it's one of the ways of the teenagers' want to "shock the world". Pushing the limits, (just like toddlers), as to how far they can go. It was an isolated incident, in terms of you stumbling on a particularly rude person, but it's not isolated if you think of them trying to shock the world in every aspect (clothes, makeup, pushing various dangers and substances).
Sorry about that, I would be p**d, too, that was uncalled for.
I've raised two girls to adulthood and have another that is only 11, and none of them would have done what you described in the way you described.
However a couple of thoughts came to mind from my first career in retail.
First thought - she might possibly be one who was doing something on a dare or part of some game, sort of a hazing type deal. Perhaps she was dared to go into the restroom after someone entered and give them the once over and she simply took the deal.
Second thought - perhaps she is actually older than you think and is part of the mall security and had decided to watch you closely, whether warranted or not.
Either way, it's not normal for my girls, nor their friends. That kind of staring stopped after toddlerhood for the most part.
I am not a mom, but I have three teenage daughters and their friends are always around. We generally have 4-12 teenage girls in our house on any given weekend day.
In my experience, what you encountered is very wierd. In general I have been mostly impressed withthe behaviour of my daughter's friends. It is possible that she is just really shy. Shyness is usually mistaken as conciet. Otherwise, it sounds like you should have walked out of the bathroom without turning your back.
However there are some really messed up and snobby girls out there. We see them occaisionally when a group of friends come over. (our girls would not do well amongst the snob set, so their friends are not likely to be like that, but friends of friends sometimes are snobby, or new friends whom they do not know well yet). Usually it seems the snobbiness is really just a cover for severe lack of self esteem.
Thanks for all your input, I really appreciate it...it was a strange experience! And yes, I've had a few woman friends in the past who had daughters whom I would never assume in a million years to act this way. Once in a blue moon, evidently!
That would be something about the undercover cop. If it was an undercover cop she sure had the hair twirling in the fingers down!
Thanks to all again. It's something I'll be wondering about for awhile. I just really needed some honest feedback.
That would be something about the undercover cop. If it was an undercover cop she sure had the hair twirling in the fingers down!
Oh, many people were amazed at who security was at different times! One department store I worked for as a teen hired the local undercover vice squad as their security. Scruffy, ill dressed, sometimes smelly men were often reported and it turns out they WERE security!
At another store we had a guy who looked like he couldn't have been more than about 12. He was highly successful at apprehension. Thieves thought he was just a kid and had no reason to fear him seeing them do their thing. Hah!
Another was a gall who looked like any soccer mom and oh boy was she tough talking and had the attitude of a soldier when needed! She didn't take crap off anyone.
Anyway, there are many things that shoppers do that bring pause to those who are watching. It could be something as seemingly innocent as carrying something all around the store and depositing it somewhere it doesn't belong. Or someone obviously looking around. They might be looking for their friend, spouse or kids, however they might just very well be looking for their accomplice instead. Bending over out of sight is another movement to cause them to look closer. People often stuff things up their skirts or pants leg doing while it looks like they are just picking up something they dropped.
Really - what a 16 year old does as far as looking at you - who cares? She's 16 - you know nothing about her, how she was raised etc. Clearly, she has a lot to learn and as we all who are older know - there is no teacher like life. Beyond that -thanks for sharing with us who have young girls as a reminder of what an ***** you can make of yourself when you think you are young and invincible. I never was so rude, but I know I did things I shouldnt have at that age. LOL - if only she knew what life has in store!
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