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While my daughter preferred her thumb, my two boys were great pacifier users. By the age of 2 and a bit we decided it was time to remove the pacifier mainly to prevent future teeth damage. We first removed it during the day saying the it was only for bed time.
Then we took advantage of the fact the we moved the child from the cot to the big grown up children bed and said that grown up children do not have pacifier. We started to talk about it a few days before the event and when the time came it was accepted with no problems at all.
My second boy is now pacifier free since 10 days ago and perfectly happy.
You can neglect your child's needs without realizing it. It may be because you do not recognize those needs which could be caused by a huge disconnect in a society between social trends and basic natural instinct. How do cultures in the world that do not have access to pacifiers deal with it? Do you really think they have an increase in finger/thumb sucking or blanket attachment? I highly doubt it.
Let us see it from purely nature's view. You have a fetus that grows and is inside their mother, getting to know their mother, throughout an entire pregenancy. Naturally, after birth, the mammal baby would spend a certain amount of time with their baby until natural curiousity lures the child from the safety and comfort of their mother.
That is not how it happens now. The baby is now taken and put in a room all along with no sight, sound or touch of their mother. It must be terrifying for the infant. Of course they "must" learn this. The next thing we do that says that nature is no longer is charge, is do our best to get our children to sleep through the night, because it's not what is best for the child but what is most convenient for the parents. When the child wakes to find themselves alone and/or are hungry, they cry. Enter parent, who sticks a pacifier in their mouth. Instead of addressing the child's need...fear, hunger, ect, we train them to sleep through the night and naps by depending on a separate comfort device. When they wake to be changed, fed, or simply conforted and assured they are not allone, they wake and find a way to comfort themselves, because we have trained them to do so. To us 5 minutes alone may not seem so long, but the younger a child is, the longer it seems to them. For an infant to be expected to so alone, it is very hard for them and they look for some sort of comfort to deal with all that stress. Enter pacifier, blanket, toy, ect.
When our first child was born, I had a c-section. The nurses did not want my daughter in the room with me unattended, like I might not be able to take care of her. I refused to allow them to take her so they put her bed at the foot of my bed where I could not reach easily. I woke with my baby and paged for a nurse to come down in the night. I told her my newborn needed to be changed. She told me that she was not crying and "assured" me that she was fine. I insisted that she change her. She told me since I was a first time mom, I had no clue and would "learn" my baby's cries. I again insisted and she went ahead to check her, all but telling me she was about to prove me wrong. Nope. I proved the long time nurse wrong. When she left, I crawled to the end of the bed and moved the bed around where I could reach her. After awhile, she just laid there and squirmed. I tried to sleep with my hand on her but finally gave up and laid her on my chest and we both rested peacefully. Enter nurse again who throws a fit about it and tries to move the bed. This went on until her shift ended and I got someone who was much better and left us alone to sleep unless I called her. (Surprisingly, I was even allowed to have my door shut. The other nurse wouldn't allow it.)
To make a long story shorter, our hospital had a strict minimum 72 hour time at the hospital before sending baby and mom home and had assured me at the start since this was my first child on top of that, I would be there for a minimum of 5 days. I had 3 doctors and 5 nurses in my room and they were observing "an unusual phenomenon" of the connection we had with our infant. 24 hours after her birth, we were talking with our doctor about going home because there was nothing more they could do for me or our baby. I was up doing everything unassisted and only had a nurses help to watch our baby while I showered. Other than that, they just checked vitals on schedule. They had never seen such in tune parents and such a content focused baby in their entire careers, her lifting her head up and holding it, smiling, ect. and we who watched her physical cues and were able to attend her needs before she cried about it. The entire time we were like..."And what is so special? No one else is like this? How does everyone else manage?"
I have to be honest, seems as your ideas about pacifiers are very extreme. It sounds a lot like you have read a lot of "continuum-concept" type of books or something like that of that genre...a lot of it sounds an extreme version of "la leche league ideas".
To be honest, some of it is valuable, too many parents rely on pacifiers way too much and sticking it into their children's mouths every minute, but mostly they are just answering child's need to suck. If a child is attached to the pacifier, but otherwise has all his needs met and trust me, our Miasmommy is very pro-breastfeeding and answering child's needs, then there is not much harm to it unless a child is pass 2, but even then, it's not a major problem!!!
I was a "passie-addict" as a toddler, but I also loved my pet hampster (Hermie). When I was 3, my mom told me that my hampster had ate the pacifier and I was fine with it....as long as it was my man Hermie, it was cool.....anyone else would have encountered my wrath! I'm told I never mentioned it again.
I was very adamant that when my children were born, they were NOT going to even get started on the paci. The nurses in NICU did me in and got my twins hooked on the paci and frankly, I gave in because when I got them home trying to soothe 2 screaming babies at the same time is challenging.
They are 18 months now and we started weaning in June. The grandparents showed up for a summer visit & kept sticking the paci back in. We started weaning again in August and then teething kicked in.
It's A LOT my fault that they are still on their paci's but right now, I'm really not that worried about it. I'll talk to their new pediatrician this week & see what she thinks. Honestly, I'm glad that they took to their paci's rather than their thumbs. Both my SILs and a few of my cousins were thumb suckers until well past 5 yrs of age. I've seen through my friends' thumb-sucking 9 yr olds how difficult a habit that is to break. I can take the paci away...can't take away their thumbs.
Wanted to add that I took my 5yr old daughter to the orthodontist last week (she has an extra adult tooth) and the ortho mentioned that he suggests pacifiers to all of his patients when they have children, that thumb sucking or lip sucking is much more damaging to the teeth. I asked when a good time to take it away was and he said "before they're FOUR."
Wanted to add that I took my 5yr old daughter to the orthodontist last week (she has an extra adult tooth) and the ortho mentioned that he suggests pacifiers to all of his patients when they have children, that thumb sucking or lip sucking is much more damaging to the teeth. I asked when a good time to take it away was and he said "before they're FOUR."
That is good to know. Thanks for sharing.
I hate looking for pacifiers when they're melting down so we will hopefully be rid of them before age 4. I have to say that my kids seem to have a homing device for their pacis - I can never find them but they always seem to know where they are.
Your post reminded me that my friends who both had 9 yr olds still sucking on their thumbs are paying some hefty ortho bills. Both kids are around 12 now and because of thumb sucking have some major palate and teeth issues.
The issue is speech delay, children who use pacifiers after age 2, have more problems with speech, and speech delay. How can you talk when you have a pacifier in your mouth? Maybe nothing wrong to have it at night, when going down for bed. But not during the day.
The issue is speech delay, children who use pacifiers after age 2, have more problems with speech, and speech delay. How can you talk when you have a pacifier in your mouth? Maybe nothing wrong to have it at night, when going down for bed. But not during the day.
I agree. I don't see too many kids walking around constantly with a paci though. I know in my case that she uses it ONLY at night when she initially falls asleep and occasionally during the day if I cannot console her on my own (which is rarely)
I was very adamant that when my children were born, they were NOT going to even get started on the paci. The nurses in NICU did me in and got my twins hooked on the paci and frankly, I gave in because when I got them home trying to soothe 2 screaming babies at the same time is challenging.
They are 18 months now and we started weaning in June. The grandparents showed up for a summer visit & kept sticking the paci back in. We started weaning again in August and then teething kicked in.
It's A LOT my fault that they are still on their paci's but right now, I'm really not that worried about it. I'll talk to their new pediatrician this week & see what she thinks. Honestly, I'm glad that they took to their paci's rather than their thumbs. Both my SILs and a few of my cousins were thumb suckers until well past 5 yrs of age. I've seen through my friends' thumb-sucking 9 yr olds how difficult a habit that is to break. I can take the paci away...can't take away their thumbs.
the NICU also got my twins hooked on paci's and when there is only one mommy to go around...it did come in handy many times when they were babies....I took theirs away when they were going on 3 and although there bite seemed to be affected by it (bigtime open bite), within a few weeks even of taking it away their bites started to correct and now at five they have lovely teeth.
The issue is speech delay, children who use pacifiers after age 2, have more problems with speech, and speech delay. How can you talk when you have a pacifier in your mouth? Maybe nothing wrong to have it at night, when going down for bed. But not during the day.
I'm not sure if that's scientific or not, how can you talk with a thumb in your mouth? However, I only gave my kids them at night and naps too after about 12mths. My kids were paci nuts and spoke early and well.
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I'm told I never mentioned it again.
We started weaning again in August and then teething kicked in.
I've seen through my friends' thumb-sucking 9 yr olds how difficult a habit that is to break. I can take the paci away...can't take away their thumbs. 
