Why have parents jacked up childhood?

[Belinda_Cooperstone]

All I can say is "Parents are allowing it to happen" they are allowing kids to tell them what is right or wrong. Kids know nothing, they think they do. So stop allowing them to control you.

[maciesmom]

Originally Posted by twinsts71

AHH yes... if my daughters continue to play basketball throughout high school (which with all the pressure put on them IN 5TH GRADE to be ''good", it wouldn't shock me if one of them says she's done in a year or two.. the other one however just has a passion for the game) there won't be any more of our traditional ''going up to the lake'' week at the end of August.. why?? Because soccer camps go on, football practices (I don't have boys though..), and basketball camps are pretty much required to go to.

Well, DD wasn't into sports so I can't really comment on girl's sports schedules but here's how it works with boys from about 2nd grade through 8th grade: Football conditioning camps start Aug 1 (or thereabouts) - that goes 3-4 days/week then 3 hrs/Saturdays. Games start after Labor Day which means practice 3X/week (two in pads and one team meeting) then game on Saturday which pretty much takes all day). That goes through about Thanksgiving. Right about when football ends, basketball begins - sometimes there is a week or two overlap if football team makes the playoffs. Basketball goes until Feb or so but baseball is kinda starting in Dec with meetings and indoor batting practice etc. Baseball starts in earnest in about March and goes through July or so when you consider tournaments. Just in time to start football! Vacation? What's that? And why the heck did no one warn me how expensive baseball was??? I about rolled on the floor laughing the other day when I was at a sporting goods store purchasing lacrosse equipment for DS and the sales associate told me he never wanted daughters 'cause they were too expensive. Prom dresses and all. I told him I never spent as much on a prom dress as I was spending that day on lacrosse equipent - and all I was purchasing was a helment and cleats - pads and stick were hand-me downs. It is expensive BUT OTOH, I would rather have my son busy and active than sitting home playing X-box and exercising his thumbs or "hanging out" somewhere with nothing constructive to do. My DS is a good kid who has never gotten into trouble, is very appreciative of what he has and the opportunities afforded him. If he started behaving badly, this would all go away very quickly and he is well aware of that.

[golfgal]

Originally Posted by jaindow

There are several sources of high school rankings. The particular organization conducting the ranking determines which factors are included in their own rankings. For instance, US News publishes a list of America's Best High Schools. Their methodology includes 3 steps and the third step is College Preparedness as measured by AP or IB (International Baccalaureate) test data. So AP classes are definitely used in some rankings, but maybe not all.

(America's Best High Schools Methodology - US News and World Report)





A relationship does exist between property values and school rankings. There is a positive feedback loop between the two. Higher property values equate to higher property tax revenues for that area. This generally means more funding is available for the area schools. Funding contributes to school quality because they can afford to buy more or better equipment and personal. This access to better resources is what positively correlates to the school rankings. Conversely, if you have good ranking schools in one area, parents who can afford it are willing to pay more money to live there so their children have access to the schools. Even some people without children will pay more for a house in an area like this because they know when they get ready to resell, there will be demand from parents interested in high ranking school. So each one contributes to the other - hence the feedback loop.

You can look at this as a "ranking" but if you read into it, it comes down to HOW MANY kids take an AP test, not how WELL they do on the test. The schools that rank at the to REQUIRE their students to take at least one AP test, they are also selective schools, not your typical public schools. These rankings mean NOTHING. I look at the rankings for MN, the schools at the top got there because of the kids that are in the IB program, all 45 out of 20,000+ students in the district-is that really a measure of the quality of the school, especially since that district has a graduation rate of less then 45%. Take our district in MN, with a rate of 98% of it's kids going to 4 year colleges, tell me what district is really better?

[kansas sky]

Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf

This is great. I love reading all these posts. I feel the same way. Parents these days are crazy. They overindulge their children and do not know how to discipline effectively. Things are really getting weird out there!

I think it's important for kids to work for the things they have, and not to be given everything. Just because you can afford to give your child something they want but don't need - doesn't mean you should. My kids get a $5 allowance every Friday - IF they have been on task all week. On task means keeping up with their chores that we expect them to do, do their best in school, help out when we ask them to, be respectful, etc. They save their allowance up for weeks and weeks to buy the things they want. My oldest lost his math book, and so he went ten Fridays without his allowance to pay us back for having to replace it - the book cost $50.

We don't do Birthday Parties. We did a few when they were really little, and they really bummed me out. All that waste, sugar, time and money and energy spent... We do something else - birthday countdowns. It makes our kids days special, and they have a blast counting down to their special day. We've found, too, that incorporating some time spent with friends in smaller groups is a much better way to celebrate than a huge party where you don't really get quality time to hang out with your friends. I'm sorry if this isn't making sense the way I am writing it... I'm sleepy tonight.

We do lots of artsy craftsy things - a la Martha Stewart - but we do them together as a family. We don't do them to show off or "one-up" other families. We do a lot of things every year that build on the things we did the previous years... like making new eggs for our spring egg tree or new decorations for our Christmas tree, or homemade Halloween decorations, and stuff like that.

I dunno... to me we seem like a simple, normal, family. To others we might seem odd because we never got into the things that most families get into like Cub/Boy Scouts, Little League, competitive sports, play dates, etc. We never did any of that stuff. Partly because we try to live beneath our means (spend less than what we earn) so that we always have money to put away and save each month and be debt free, but also partly because we want our kids to have time to be kids and just enjoy their down time. We like hanging out with our kids and getting to know them and talk with them and learn more about them as they grow. We don't like to feel too busy. Our kids are only kids once, we don't want it to go by in a blur.

There are some things we do, mostly during Summer, like swimming and diving lessons, water polo, tennis, martial arts, and lots of family camping and road trips and volunteering and just also stuff around the house like gardening or cooking and stuff. When my boys friends come over they play with their nerf guns or "camp out" in the backyard or they play the Wii on the rainy days. My husband gave me the Wii for my birthday last year! The kids couldn't believe it. We really like the Wii now because we can all play together as a family, and the games are really cool. It's actually a good workout, too, some of the games. We don't get the violent games... my favorite game to play is Endless Ocean. It's a beautiful, relaxing game. My husband and kids like Wii Fit or Wii sports.

Also - we went years and years without TV. We didn't have it at all. Recently we got limited basic cable so that we could watch the Inauguration and also watch local news. We really love watching our local public broadcasting channel - OPB. I honestly feel that NOT having TV while our kids were growing up (they are 9 and 13 now) has been a wonderful decision. Now that they are a bit older, we can sit together and watch programs like Nature and Nova together and talk about what we're watching. We also like Austin City Limits and Live from the Artists Den... there are some really good programs on the public broadcasting network. We like to listen to NPR, too.

I think there are other families like us out there... more simple, normal, level-headed families... but I think maybe we're just quieter or less noticed or something. The other more extreme, competitive, keeping up with the Jones' sorts of families I guess are the ones that grab all the attention, because I guess that's their intention - their whole game plan seems to be to do whatever they can to be the biggest, best, brightest, newest, shiniest... it's unfortunate, but that's our overly commercialized American capitalist culture for you. We should expect nothing less I suppose.

I'm not a parent yet, but this is exactly how I'd like to raise my kids.

[Momma_bear]

Originally Posted by maciesmom

Well, DD wasn't into sports so I can't really comment on girl's sports schedules but here's how it works with boys from about 2nd grade through 8th grade: Football conditioning camps start Aug 1 (or thereabouts) - that goes 3-4 days/week then 3 hrs/Saturdays. Games start after Labor Day which means practice 3X/week (two in pads and one team meeting) then game on Saturday which pretty much takes all day). That goes through about Thanksgiving. Right about when football ends, basketball begins - sometimes there is a week or two overlap if football team makes the playoffs. Basketball goes until Feb or so but baseball is kinda starting in Dec with meetings and indoor batting practice etc. Baseball starts in earnest in about March and goes through July or so when you consider tournaments. Just in time to start football! Vacation? What's that? And why the heck did no one warn me how expensive baseball was??? I about rolled on the floor laughing the other day when I was at a sporting goods store purchasing lacrosse equipment for DS and the sales associate told me he never wanted daughters 'cause they were too expensive. Prom dresses and all. I told him I never spent as much on a prom dress as I was spending that day on lacrosse equipent - and all I was purchasing was a helment and cleats - pads and stick were hand-me downs. It is expensive BUT OTOH, I would rather have my son busy and active than sitting home playing X-box and exercising his thumbs or "hanging out" somewhere with nothing constructive to do. My DS is a good kid who has never gotten into trouble, is very appreciative of what he has and the opportunities afforded him. If he started behaving badly, this would all go away very quickly and he is well aware of that.

If your son is that busy he will not have time to get in trouble. Kids who just wander around the neighborhood as little kids turn out to be teens who have nothing constructive to do and so they don't do anything constructive.

BTW-LMAO about lacrosse. I have 3 players (9th, 7th, 4th grade) and it gets more expensive as they want specialized sticks as they get better. I can't imagine a prom dress possibly equating to lax equipment.

I am not a big fan of making material things the focus of my life but I do think that finding things that kids like (sports, music, dance, art, drama, chess, etc.) is good for kids. I don't believe that spending money just to spend it is healthy, but I also can't see keeping your kids from doing any activities because those activities cost money.

I wouldn't bankrupt my family paying for activities but I don't see anything wrong with specialized sports camps for kids who enjoy them. My kids look forward to their sports camps (football, lacrosse, wrestling). They don't like general camp because they don't like arts and crafts and other silly camp stuff but they love spending a week enmeshed in an activity that they love.

So those who are opposed please tell me what is wrong with it?

[maciesmom]

If your son is that busy he will not have time to get in trouble. Kids who just wander around the neighborhood as little kids turn out to be teens who have nothing constructive to do and so they don't do anything constructive.

That's exactly our thought process. He is active, busy, responsible and has made great friendships. It does get expensive but less expensive than a teenager in trouble!

Although, during the summer he does have free time and does ride his bike to his friends houses and hang out at our local pool or Sonic. He has down time and I will say, all of these activities are his choice. Not us pushing him to be involved in something he doesn't care to do.