Greed and materialism and kids (parent, clothes, son, grandpa)
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dear OP
american parents have taught their children about materialism and greed and that is why they want everything they see.
big fat americans driving big fat cars making OPEC big fat rich and well armed.
somehow somewhere along the line john wayne became porky pig
Don't be a self loathing American. There are other countries with greedy people, too.
I think this is a perfect time to tell kids less is more and that they CANNOT get everything little Jimmy has down the road just 'to be in with the in crowd.'
Yahoo has a story about parents cutting down on Christmas spending this year. One woman was quoted as saying her child (4) wants everything he sees.
Parents need to teach their children about greed and materialism. I have one child who is not very materialistic. We have never had a lot of money and he is not spoiled, still he has a lot of toys he barely touches.
Parents, this season, remember that poor Walmart worker trampled by greed and explain how 'things' are not as important as family.
Perfect example why TV is not the best idea for kids. It's a direct line into their brains from these consumer corps, and they success in brainwashing children just like they do adults.
Save money. Cancel your cable. Put your TV up for sale on craigslist.
I remember when my kids were little and they "wanted" everything they saw. I finally figured out they really meant that whatever it was was cool looking or fun or whatever. It didn't mean they were materialistic, just interested in what they saw. I remember spending a LOT of time with the Sears Catalog at Christmas circling everything I 'wanted'. It is about being a kid. The materialism comes in when mom and dad actually believe that their kid wants EVERYTHING and then buys it for them.
I remember when my kids were little and they "wanted" everything they saw. I finally figured out they really meant that whatever it was was cool looking or fun or whatever. It didn't mean they were materialistic, just interested in what they saw. I remember spending a LOT of time with the Sears Catalog at Christmas circling everything I 'wanted'. It is about being a kid. The materialism comes in when mom and dad actually believe that their kid wants EVERYTHING and then buys it for them.
Exactly!
Heck, I want half the things I see, too. Every time I click on Nordstrom.com, I start filling up my virtual shopping cart. Of course, I never proceed to checkout because I know I don't have any money. But kids don't have that same concept of money. They just want, want, want!
I have the opposite problem. My kids, of course, want toys for Christmas but both have only picked out 2 or 3 toys a piece. Today, when we were at Wal-Mart making out a list of things they would like for Christmas, my son listed 3 toys and said, "That's all--just 3". My mom, on the other hand, wants me to buy a lot of toys and keeps saying, "I want them to have a happy Christmas". Last year, when she saw that I had only bought four toys a piece (we were spending Christmas at her house), she unwrapped presents from her so it looked like the guy in the red suit had brought more gifts.
Today, she reminded me that she had done that and basically told me to buy a lot so she didn't have to do that. I resent the fact that I am being told to spend money to make my kids' Christmas happy. I'm a teacher and my husband is unemployed. We are living in a 2 bedroom house with half the kids' toys in storage. We don't have the room for more toys or the money to buy them.
Today, the only toy we bought was a dinosaur for the mall's Angel Tree. My children are happy that they bought a toy a little boy wanted. I keep emphasizing to my children that Christmas is celebrating Jesus' birth and giving to others. I know my mom worked two jobs to buy us toys for Christmas, but my best Christmas memories are making cookies at Christmas and going caroling with my church group. I can only name a few gifts that I got as a child.
Am I wrong? Should I take a 2nd job to spend a ton of money on gifts to make my mom happy or should I tell her to shut up and then go bake cookies with my kids?
Am I wrong? Should I take a 2nd job to spend a ton of money on gifts to make my mom happy or should I tell her to shut up and then go bake cookies with my kids?
TYou are not wrong, tell her that Christmas isn't about how many gifts the kids get. Kids don't know any better and that is a beautiful thing when they are young. We need to get away with buying less for as long as we can because soon enough they will be wanting those big ticket items, ipods, cell phones, video game systems, etc....
It's a bit out of control This is the first year my 7 y/o made a list:
Guitar (saw at BJ's for $40)
digi (don't even know what this is or if it's spelled right)
Kung Fu Panda movie
skateboard
Pic (for the guitar--lol)
dog
Spy gear car
The 30 new Bakugan (little balls that pop open into little guys when touched to a magnetic surface, there is a game)
Wii.
Now I think this list is somewhat reasonable, except for the 30 new bakugan, which is utterly excessive and impossible to find. He has been asking for the skateboard and the Wii since last year or earlier. (He has to know he will not be getting a dog as we had one but gave it to my aunt) He is getting a wii but that is really a family gift, even I want it.
I told him he will not be getting the spy gear car because Santa got him the spy gear car last year and it was very expensive ($50) and has hardly used it, and Santa is quite upset about that and wouldn't give him another one for that reason. Then he told me that you can hear with the new one. I can tell you Santa isn't bringing that this year and if the kid brings it up again I will tell him I must have been right since Santa didn't get it.
What is bothering me about my son lately, speaking of greed/commercialism/comparing w/other kids, is he is comparing his "bakugan" count with his little friend. He has a running tally of how many this kid has, and knows exactly how many he needs to catch up. I keep explaining to him that we are nto buying these things to catch up w/the other kid, and there are kids with less than him, so how does he think they feel. I also tell him that the minute he catches up the kid will get more and be ahead again. I have tried to tell him that what other people have has no bearing on what we have. I try to make him understand that a.) there are kids with way less than him, and he needs to understand how they feel b.) we have the money to buy the things that other people have, but we just have different priorities about what we choose to spend our money on and then explain to him why we spend on what we do and c.)we control what we buy, and if we buy something just because someone else does, then we are letting them control and dictate what we buy. His thinking he is going to get something just because someone else is buying it is maddening to me.
My DD is almost 4, and calls me into the living room to tell me all the stuff she sees on tv that she wants and also wants everything in the store. She's not getting it, though, and will not be disappointed. I got her a dollhouse instead and none of the junk she's been pointing out on tv.
Last year the kids opened presents all day. (I had way too many presents for them when all the shopping was said and done and ended up saving some for their Birthdays in Feb/April) Anyway, they would open one, and then we would take it out of the package and play with it. When they wanted another, they each opened another. I don't see the sense of the mad rush to tear the paper off gift after gift after gift, just to plow through things ASAP. This actually worked out really well and I recommend it to anyone who will not have a large quantity of presents for their kids. Kids don't need 15 presents anyway (at least mine don't) in rapid succession.
Don't be a self loathing American. There are other countries with greedy people, too.
I think this is a perfect time to tell kids less is more and that they CANNOT get everything little Jimmy has down the road just 'to be in with the in crowd.'
i dont loath me read my profile & posts.
not all americans feel this way-- just way too many.
you want too much
you want too badly
you want everything for nothin
sing it - joni mitchell
Yahoo has a story about parents cutting down on Christmas spending this year. One woman was quoted as saying her child (4) wants everything he sees.
Parents need to teach their children about greed and materialism. I have one child who is not very materialistic. We have never had a lot of money and he is not spoiled, still he has a lot of toys he barely touches.
Parents, this season, remember that poor Walmart worker trampled by greed and explain how 'things' are not as important as family.
The Wal-Mart incident was tragic! Not to justify what happened or take up for anyone involved in what happened, but I believe it happened because people are desperate. Our society has been trained to believe that if you want it, then you can obtain it. With the recent economy people are feeling more and more like they cannot achieve the same 'wealth' that they once thought they could and this leads to this mass hysteria over the wrong things. People need to be more focused on saving money and providing the needs rather than the wants, but that is not what this capitalistic society is based on!
As far as children are concerned, much of who they are not only depends on the parents and other adults that surround them, but also on the peers that surround them. We live in a rather affluent community where many of my nine year old daughters friends have plasma tv's and stuff like that. It's hard because that is not the way that I was brought up nor is it the way that she is being raised and she has had to learn that those types of things (tv's, etc) are not neccessities and that when she gets a job and can afford her own stuff then she can buy her own stuff!
I agree that more parents need to teach their children the value of a dollar and more children need to be involved in community activities that show them that there are people living without basic needs!
The Wal-Mart incident was tragic! Not to justify what happened or take up for anyone involved in what happened, but I believe it happened because people are desperate. Our society has been trained to believe that if you want it, then you can obtain it. With the recent economy people are feeling more and more like they cannot achieve the same 'wealth' that they once thought they could and this leads to this mass hysteria over the wrong things. People need to be more focused on saving money and providing the needs rather than the wants, but that is not what this capitalistic society is based on!
As far as children are concerned, much of who they are not only depends on the parents and other adults that surround them, but also on the peers that surround them. We live in a rather affluent community where many of my nine year old daughters friends have plasma tv's and stuff like that. It's hard because that is not the way that I was brought up nor is it the way that she is being raised and she has had to learn that those types of things (tv's, etc) are not neccessities and that when she gets a job and can afford her own stuff then she can buy her own stuff!
I agree that more parents need to teach their children the value of a dollar and more children need to be involved in community activities that show them that there are people living without basic needs!
It hyas nothing to do with capialist system. People were not like this in the past when we had more of such a system. IMO it is the fact that people think that they deserve these things for just existing. Its the same ole story of greed. Just look at the television where there are so many of these reality shows that are basically based on backstabbing the other persons.Look at who is admired;celebrities for no real reason of talent but what they have. That's just the values of so many in this world . The lotto winner is the new hero not thye self-made man like in the past.As the song says;something for nothing. Its more a socialist thing in give me my free stuff. Sad
I have the opposite problem. My kids, of course, want toys for Christmas but both have only picked out 2 or 3 toys a piece. Today, when we were at Wal-Mart making out a list of things they would like for Christmas, my son listed 3 toys and said, "That's all--just 3". My mom, on the other hand, wants me to buy a lot of toys and keeps saying, "I want them to have a happy Christmas". Last year, when she saw that I had only bought four toys a piece (we were spending Christmas at her house), she unwrapped presents from her so it looked like the guy in the red suit had brought more gifts.
Today, she reminded me that she had done that and basically told me to buy a lot so she didn't have to do that. I resent the fact that I am being told to spend money to make my kids' Christmas happy. I'm a teacher and my husband is unemployed. We are living in a 2 bedroom house with half the kids' toys in storage. We don't have the room for more toys or the money to buy them.
Today, the only toy we bought was a dinosaur for the mall's Angel Tree. My children are happy that they bought a toy a little boy wanted. I keep emphasizing to my children that Christmas is celebrating Jesus' birth and giving to others. I know my mom worked two jobs to buy us toys for Christmas, but my best Christmas memories are making cookies at Christmas and going caroling with my church group. I can only name a few gifts that I got as a child.
Am I wrong? Should I take a 2nd job to spend a ton of money on gifts to make my mom happy or should I tell her to shut up and then go bake cookies with my kids?
You are not wrong but it sounds like your mom is trying to make up for not being able to buy you everything she wanted to buy for you. If she wants a lot of things under the tree then you can get creative--do any of those toys the kids want need batteries-wrap a box of batteries, do the kids need new PJ's, socks, mittens, etc.--wrap those up. Do they like a particular treat? DS13 LOVES popcorn. He would be THRILLED if I wrapped up several boxes of his favorite popcorn. You really aren't spending any more money buying things they need and your mom can be happy. One year all DS13 asked for for Christmas was a Nerf basketball hoop--we got him 2 so they could play full court .
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