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Lately it feels like everywhere I go I get these stares when I'm with my husband, and sometimes I hear people talking about us about the face that we don't have any children. I was grocery shopping one day and a lady came up to me and asked why we didn't have any children and I told her and she said back to me, "Well, that's weird, and kinda strange." Why is that weird and strange? I do plan on having children though, I want 2. But it just seems like in the past 10 years our country has become so childcentric and all the magazines talk about parenthood and glorifing pregnancy and then there's the pregnancy pact of 17 teenage girls at the high school. Last year, according to the news, 2007 had the highest number of births on record at 4,315,000 beating the 4,300,000 set 50 years earlier in 1957 and while reports say that childlessness is increasing I don't think it is, because it hardly seems like there's any childless couples out there any more like there used to be. They say that 15% of couples are childless they make it sound like a lot, and it really isn't because then 85% do have children and that's almost all of them. I feel like I'm in the 1950s again even though I'm 28, I don't know if it's because of my age or what but it seems like in the past few years I've been getting more negative attitudes about my childlessness, people act like it's some kind of disease, and people do treat me differtnlt when I have my niece and nephew with me. When I take them to places, I get friendly smiles and nods and people open the door for me, but when I don't have them with me, people are very unfriendly to me and my husband. I've also read about the big family trend about how everyone is starting to have more than the 2 child norm. All this social and personal pressure is making me want to explode, I feel in a hurry now, like I'm waiting too long to have a child and then I'm not going to be able to have one and then I'll live a childless life all alone and then I'll be getting even more pressure and have even more people looking down on me because I'm not a mother. There is just so much pressure to have children in our society, that I think it's the cause of all the abuses in families, because people who don't want kids feel forced to have them and they don't know how to handle things correctly. Right now I feel like I need some time to myself and think, *sighs*
I ended up having my first and only at age 38. But I live in a big city where no one gets in your business like that and there are many many single people or married people with no kids. But to be honest, after having a baby I regretted not going for it earlier. They are such a joy and add so much to your life. I should've gotten started around age 30. But you need to do you and not live your life for the Joneses.
As far as the births exceeding the record set in 1950, keep in mind that our population is still much greater so it only stands to reason that we will have more births. But other than celebrities having babies and me being more aware cuz I started reading Star and those celebrity magazines, I dont find the country any more childcentric than before.
I don't know... no one ever asks me where my kids are if I go grocery shopping by myself, or if DH and I go into a store without them. I think it's very weird and strange that anyone would comment. How would they know if you left your children with a babysitter, or if you had none? Or if you were suffering from infertility, or had lost a child?
If someone asked me something like that, I'd probably say "why do you want to know?" That typically makes busybodies step back and realize that their line of questioning is inappropriate.
Wow that is so strange. I shop without my children in tow all the time and not once have I been asked why I don't have children.
I'd never ask that question of someone either, you never know why they are childless.
It's your decision not to have children and if you are happy with that, ignore what other people think.
As for someone else who said we live in a "anti-child" "anti-family" country, I couldn't think of anything that is less true.
I have 4 children, 2 are twins, and when I take them somewhere, I have people come up to me and tell me how blessed I am. I've never experienced anything negative about having children, unless one is having a hissy
All in all, it's your decision, have peace in making it.
I wonder myself where do you shop? Do you live in a small town, where everyone must know everything.
However, next time they ask tell them it's none of their business. I don't understand why would anyone ask a stranger question like that.
I was asked by just about everyone, but not really judged except by one colleague on the God Squad. I think it a fair question between good friends, but judging people is way out of line.
Lately it feels like everywhere I go I get these stares when I'm with my husband, and sometimes I hear people talking about us about the face that we don't have any children. I was grocery shopping one day and a lady came up to me and asked why we didn't have any children and I told her and she said back to me, "Well, that's weird, and kinda strange." Why is that weird and strange? I do plan on having children though, I want 2. But it just seems like in the past 10 years our country has become so childcentric and all the magazines talk about parenthood and glorifing pregnancy and then there's the pregnancy pact of 17 teenage girls at the high school. Last year, according to the news, 2007 had the highest number of births on record at 4,315,000 beating the 4,300,000 set 50 years earlier in 1957 and while reports say that childlessness is increasing I don't think it is, because it hardly seems like there's any childless couples out there any more like there used to be. They say that 15% of couples are childless they make it sound like a lot, and it really isn't because then 85% do have children and that's almost all of them. I feel like I'm in the 1950s again even though I'm 28, I don't know if it's because of my age or what but it seems like in the past few years I've been getting more negative attitudes about my childlessness, people act like it's some kind of disease, and people do treat me differtnlt when I have my niece and nephew with me. When I take them to places, I get friendly smiles and nods and people open the door for me, but when I don't have them with me, people are very unfriendly to me and my husband. I've also read about the big family trend about how everyone is starting to have more than the 2 child norm. All this social and personal pressure is making me want to explode, I feel in a hurry now, like I'm waiting too long to have a child and then I'm not going to be able to have one and then I'll live a childless life all alone and then I'll be getting even more pressure and have even more people looking down on me because I'm not a mother. There is just so much pressure to have children in our society, that I think it's the cause of all the abuses in families, because people who don't want kids feel forced to have them and they don't know how to handle things correctly. Right now I feel like I need some time to myself and think, *sighs*
I have to disagree.I am 51 years old, have never had children, and have never been asked why I didnt have any. Considering the way cheney, bush, and his band of clowns and pigs have ruined the country, I am VERY, VERY, VERY happy about my choice.
Ok there's a couple totally off the wall responses here but I'll try....
Unless someone actually asks you to your face or says something directly to you about being childless, you really are only guessing about what is going on in other people minds.
People might be reacting to the children that you have with you....so if there are no children there is is nothing to react to.
I'm getting the feeling that you yourself is self-concience about your childless state and are reading too much into the way people act around you.
To those who have the audacity to actually question you about this, say some thing like, we ate the last ones so we decided not to have any more. Ridiculous questions deserve rediculous answers.
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