My mom really dislikes me. (mother, adult, raise, brothers)
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Why not move out? my mother is the same way i personally can not stand her or being in her home i get stressed as soon as i get there yet my wife wants her to see my daughter and things like that, i can't wait to leave every time we get there. my brother who is 21 lives with her and he is pretty much her favorite always has been, i am the black sheep of the family the one that didn't turn out right who is mean,hateful,stupid,hardheaded etc etc etc. thank god i got my own place now.
Yes, to all you who say to move out, I want to and as soon as I can I will. It's impossible right now as I have no money and I'm starting university in September and I won't be able to work. I'm taking a super heavy and difficult course load at university, and I want to give that all my attention, so if anything I'll only be able to work weekends. Living on your own is not cheap! I need to save up a ton before I move out. Fortunately, I'll be receiving some inheritance money soon so that will help me out. But like I said, I'll be living at home for at least one more year.
YES IT IS!! We're kindred spirits on that. I so hate cleaning up after others; I'm the only tidy person in my family and it IS unfair; I'm already cleaning up for myself and the little kids, so I wish my husband and darling daughter would...help??! Or at least stop being slobs!
I love your upbeat attitude, especially when job-hunting is a huge pain. If nothing turns up however, would you consider volunteering, particularly somewhere that might contribute to your resume (I don't know what field you're studying)...for instance, volunteering in a long-term care home if you're studying to be a nurse; or in a library, etc. I know a lot of employers don't like hiring summer help because it's temporary, but perhaps a temporary agency might be just the thing?
Hobbies don't need to cost money (believe me, I'm cheap!) If you check at the local library or local notice boards around town you might see something going on that sounds fun....like a writer's group or book club or walking club, etc. If it gets you away from your brothers, bonus!
I remember moving out when I was 22...my mother and I had a lot of tension for months, so I worked hard at moving out...and it hurt her feelings! I really thought she couldn't stand me, so it was a surprise to learn I broke her heart leaving.
Oh well. Long time ago. Good luck!
Back when I was 17 I did some volunteering for a couple of years at the library. I don't think that's of any use on my resume though, I can't even put them as references because I've lost all contact and all information of the people I volunteered for. I'm starting from zero now. I was thinking of volunteering again but I don't want to waste more time, I really need to get a job and make money, besides when I volunteered my mom got really upset saying how dumb I was to offer my "services" in return for nothing. I understand her though because at the time my dad had just passed away and we went through a very difficult time financially. So right now I'm trying to look for a job that's ok with no experience. I'll see what I can find. Thanks for wishing me luck .
Yes, to all you who say to move out, I want to and as soon as I can I will. It's impossible right now as I have no money and I'm starting university in September and I won't be able to work. I'm taking a super heavy and difficult course load at university, and I want to give that all my attention, so if anything I'll only be able to work weekends. Living on your own is not cheap! I need to save up a ton before I move out. Fortunately, I'll be receiving some inheritance money soon so that will help me out. But like I said, I'll be living at home for at least one more year.
I'm wishing you luck. There are always going to be people who will tell you how they went to school AND worked full time and so anyone can do it... but if you have ways to avoid that, then IMO that is better. I am a believer that it is NOT ideal to work full time and be able to concentrate on school as well. For some it is VERY VERY difficult (me, for example). Something suffers, and for me it is school.
How much cheaper would it be for you to live on campus? Or off campus with several roommates? My first apartment was absolutely tiny, but I still had help from my father on rent and that's how I was able to go to school full time without working much. I worked for a while prior, saved up some money, then left work to go to school and focus on that, but it was not easy even with parental help.
"I don't think that's of any use on my resume though, I can't even put them as references because I've lost all contact and all information of the people I volunteered for."
Put it on your resume anyway if you need to. And talk to a resume coach or career counselor at a college to help you put the resume together. It really helps.
Temperament matters a lot in child rearing, meaning that one child may have a different temperament than another and a parent responds differently to that child because of it. Parents really do feel differently about each child. So you may be right that your mom is more harsh with you than with your siblings. Try paying attention to her stress level and her reaction to different behaviors or words and see if you can develop strategies to make things easier for her and as a nice benefit things will then be easier for you. This isn't a waste of time during the next year because you will need the same skills in the workplace some day when a boss is treating you unfairly, too!
In my family it was ALWAYS OK to be nasty to the women, whether that meant physically or verbally. My Mother doesn't care for my attitude that just because I am a female doesn't mean I am going to take your BS.
My sister and I were scapegoated alot in our family and still are to some extent. I don't tolerate it in my life. Its not a womans burden to be the whipping boy for some mental midget of a man who can't control himself.
I'm 21. Wow, I really never looked at it that way. I never imagined being a single mom would stress her out, she's raised us by herself our whole lives so I never saw it as odd. Even when my dad was alive he lived in another country so she was always like a single parent. But I don't understand why she doesn't treat us all the same. For example when we get into an argument, she'll never listen to my side of things, she'll automatically think I'm wrong and get angry at me. I wish she could just listen. But you guys make some good points and I guess I should be acting in a more adult manner. It's just that sometimes it's so difficult to avoid getting into fights because my brothers really bug me!!
You may not be listening to her side of things either. I wa surprised at myself this year when I realized my sister and mother are going through something very similar.
Mom always complained about my sis and everything she was saying. Sis would do the same. I finally pulled them together and said you need to both sit down and LISTEN to what each other is saying; because they weren't.
It's hard, but try to not let your anger and resentment get in the way of your relationship with your mother. Start fresh and realize what a wonderful woman she is, and ask her to do the same with you.
In my family I am one of 3 sisters and I am the oldest. My middle sister has a terrible relationship with our mom, and I very frequently feel that she is being treated unfairly. I've tried to talk to my mom about the way that she treats my sister, but she doesn't see it and she thinks it's all my sister's fault that they have a bad relationship. I just wanted to say that if you feel you are not treated fairly, it may not be all in your head, but your mom maybe doesn't "feel" like she is doing it. With my sister, I can't imagine that they will ever have a good relationship, but I guess you never know what will happen when she is older. She's 17 now, so that's a hard age, but this is not something new with them.
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We're kindred spirits on that. I so hate cleaning up after others; I'm the only tidy person in my family and it IS unfair; I'm already cleaning up for myself and the little kids, so I wish my husband and darling daughter would...help??! Or at least stop being slobs!
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