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So serious, but I was just there tonight & heard some lady scream at her young son to get over to her or she was going to beat the crap out of him.
I try to avoid WalMart for so many reasons, one of them being the screaming parents that seem to congrugate there & think its ok to belittle their child. I seriously think that place brings out the crazies.
And when my 2 1/2 yr old wants to pull the attitude in a store, we are out of there.
On the flip side I was at Home Depot today and overheard this grandma
patiently answering her 2 yearold grandsons zillion questions.If he asked
what something was she gave the long answer ,not the short easy answer. I was so impressed I told her how neat it was and how lucky he was.
Now...I know we don't always have time to do that, but it was her sweet manner with him that really caught my eye.
On the flip side I was at Home Depot today and overheard this grandma
patiently answering her 2 yearold grandsons zillion questions.If he asked
what something was she gave the long answer ,not the short easy answer. I was so impressed I told her how neat it was and how lucky he was.
Now...I know we don't always have time to do that, but it was her sweet manner with him that really caught my eye.
As a grandma, I can tell you that taking the time to explain things to a grandbaby has a lot to do with the realization that when a kid hits double digits, they suddenly know everything and won't be asking your opinion on much of anything.
Serioulsy, I think we all tend to rush through childhood with our own kids, especially if we have more than one child. Before you know it, our children aren't children and we realize we spent more time trying to get them raised and through each "phase" than just enjoying their fascinating minds and blossoming personalities. Grandkids give us a second chance.
I think that kids mirror their parents in most ways and that behavior is no exception.
If the kids have learned that mom or dad (or whoever the child spends most of their time with) will raise their voice and spank and grab and act out of control when they are upset, the kids learn to react the same way if they are upset.
If the mom reacts with hollering and grabbing the kid and beating their butt and verbal threats when she is upset with the kid... then the kid will act that way when they are upset about something - like being bored or hungry or whatever in Wal-Mart.
Parents need to respond to the child in a more humane way - and consistently so - so that their children learn correct human behavior and how to appropriately behave in different situations. Another thing parents will find success with is empowering the child to make their own decisions - but in a way which will get the end results that the parents are seeking. "Are you going to behave while we shop or are you going to have a time out when we get home?" If they don't behave, fine, their choice, but when they get home they are in time out. If this is done consistently, the child will learn.
I think it's important sometimes to take the emotions out of the situation when dealing with discipline problems. Once a parent reacts emotionally - raising their voice, getting angry or upset, spanking in a vain attempt to prove a point or "teach" the kid, etc - the parent has lost control. You've allowed the child to "get a rise" out of you, so they are in control.
You also have to consider who most often shops at Walmart... and of those who would have children. Families who are low-income or who are more rural generally also have little higher education. Sometimes the maturity just isn't there. Just my opinion... even if it does sound a bit snooty.
You also have to consider who most often shops at Walmart... and of those who would have children. Families who are low-income or who are more rural generally also have little higher education. Sometimes the maturity just isn't there. Just my opinion... even if it does sound a bit snooty.
Anyway... just my thoughts...
Many times, these parents are themselves coming from family of abuse, be it verbal, physical or emotional.
They continue the pattern b/c it is all they know & they have never been given the self esteem to rise above it.
Also, with the economy & other issues, so many people are struggling in so many ways. They feel they have lost all control in their lives & take their frustrations out on those who cannot defend themselves b/c it is a quick & easy target.
How many times I've snapped at my son b/c I'm worn out & frustrated with things that have NOTHING to do with him. He is just on the receiving end.
Ahh, the joys of parenting. Everyday you just gotta step up to the plate & try your best.
You also have to consider who most often shops at Walmart... and of those who would have children. Families who are low-income or who are more rural generally also have little higher education. Sometimes the maturity just isn't there. Just my opinion... even if it does sound a bit snooty.
Anyway... just my thoughts...
Thats whys Iz bees hangin at de Wallmertz. Iz pour,dum, ands
a unequkated kuntry gerl!!!
My experience with CPS (in this area, at least) is that children are not removed on the spot UNLESS drugs are involved or there is visible evidence of abuse, like large bruises or blisters. And even then, it's a case by case situation. (Don't get me started on kids who were left with abusive/neglectful/addicted parents.)
Oh, and I'd not step in unless the abuse was so severe that I worried for the child's life. Yeah, I'd put my life on the line for someone unable to defend him/herself.
Hats off to you! You said the right thing! I just wish someone stepped up and protected my sister and I from all the closed fist punches we suffered, banged heads, punched stomachs, bruises, broken doors, kicks, slaps, reapeated beatings daily we suffered as children daily while our mother did nothing as our older brother beat us to pulps. Had someone protected us then, we may be different people. Now, I haven't got a sister that will have anything to do w/ anyone because she is so bitter and I have a mother who enabled a beast and I lived a painful life that I've never recovered from.
If someone see's abuse it is their job to step in. Even if it isn't physical, I was called the C word repeatedly since I was a child, I'm in my mid forties now. I was treated like dirt by my own family since childhood and the children who suffer from getting abused and spoken to like what was witnessed, if this went on in public, imagine what went on in the privacy of the home.
I think that kids mirror their parents in most ways and that behavior is no exception.
If the kids have learned that mom or dad (or whoever the child spends most of their time with) will raise their voice and spank and grab and act out of control when they are upset, the kids learn to react the same way if they are upset.
If the mom reacts with hollering and grabbing the kid and beating their butt and verbal threats when she is upset with the kid... then the kid will act that way when they are upset about something - like being bored or hungry or whatever in Wal-Mart.
Parents need to respond to the child in a more humane way - and consistently so - so that their children learn correct human behavior and how to appropriately behave in different situations. Another thing parents will find success with is empowering the child to make their own decisions - but in a way which will get the end results that the parents are seeking. "Are you going to behave while we shop or are you going to have a time out when we get home?" If they don't behave, fine, their choice, but when they get home they are in time out. If this is done consistently, the child will learn.
I think it's important sometimes to take the emotions out of the situation when dealing with discipline problems. Once a parent reacts emotionally - raising their voice, getting angry or upset, spanking in a vain attempt to prove a point or "teach" the kid, etc - the parent has lost control. You've allowed the child to "get a rise" out of you, so they are in control.
You also have to consider who most often shops at Walmart... and of those who would have children. Families who are low-income or who are more rural generally also have little higher education. Sometimes the maturity just isn't there. Just my opinion... even if it does sound a bit snooty.
Anyway... just my thoughts...
OK, I gotta jump in here, my husband and I are a very educated couple. Quite financially comfotable which is why we shop at Wal Mart, because we'd like to maintain our life style. We make very wise financial decisions so shopping at Wal Mart has nothing to do w/ education. We also live in Metroplolitan Phoenix. My husband is very successful as I have been as well. Wal Mart isn't just as low income as you may think. All my friends shop there and all my friends are highly educated. Masters Degree or higher. It's just finacially wiser to shop there no matter what income.
As far as being abusive goes, because I have been an abuse survivor, I have never beat my child and he is a very educated successful individual as well. We don't always do what we learn in the home.
Also, with the economy & other issues, so many people are struggling in so many ways. They feel they have lost all control in their lives & take their frustrations out on those who cannot defend themselves b/c it is a quick & easy target.
VP yells at the manager,
manager yells at the worker,
worker goes home and yells at his kid,
kid kicks the dog.
OK, I gotta jump in here, my husband and I are a very educated couple. Quite financially comfotable which is why we shop at Wal Mart, because we'd like to maintain our life style. We make very wise financial decisions so shopping at Wal Mart has nothing to do w/ education. We also live in Metroplolitan Phoenix. My husband is very successful as I have been as well. Wal Mart isn't just as low income as you may think. All my friends shop there and all my friends are highly educated. Masters Degree or higher. It's just finacially wiser to shop there no matter what income.
As far as being abusive goes, because I have been an abuse survivor, I have never beat my child and he is a very educated successful individual as well. We don't always do what we learn in the home.
I tend to agree with you. It's really got nothing to do with your station in life. It makes good financial sense in most cases to shop there.
It may be specific to your location but some of the Walmart stores are just intolerable. There is one close to my home in TX that probably has 30 checkout counters and 5 people working them. Meanwhile the lines are stacked up 20 deep. I can't go in there. I will lose my mind if I have to stand in line to check out for a solid 45minutes(It has taken me this long to check out on 2 separate occasions).
Also the clientel makes me a little nervous at that particular store. Some of those folks seem a little rough....like they wouldn't mind taking a crack at knocking you in the head and stealing your wallet if they thought you might have some cash on you....and it has happened at that store. People have been mugged. One lady was killed and they stole her car in the parking lot. But this is may be isolated to this particular store.
I generally prefer to shop at a Super Target to Walmart. The deals may not be as good in a lot of cases but close!
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