Neighbor play dates

[otterhere]

I agree that the 5:00 p.m. New Year's Eve invitation, especially if worded "if you want to come," was insulting. I would ask what's wrong, but wouldn't expect an honest answer...

Also, has childhood gotten so complicated and/or overscheduled that it requires a parentally arranged formal play date for next-door neighbor kids to play together?

[msRB311]

I totally get this. I get oversensitive to things like this but at the same time I am awful at initiating playdates. At these ages kids have new friends every few months. My daughter had a group of friends in kindergarten last year but this year they are all in a different class and seems like some have grown apart. They are in a class with new kids so meeting new people. One mom and I have made an attempt to keep the girls friendly like getting them involved in other activities together because they really do like to be together.

Overall I have found the play date thing to be kind of stressful and I think I made a post about this here, lol. Both my kids are busy with activities and sports so there isnt a whole lot of time for playdates. There are playdates with kids from school and then playdates with the kids from their sports teams. I also feel like it's my job to make the playdates happen or they'll have no friends (they're 6 and 8). I kind of hope their friendships happen organically without much prodding from me.

Honestly I'd let this thing go with the neighbor and not bring anything up. I can see why you feel snubbed by her but I'm not sure it's worth it say anything. Perhaps she is flaky or has a lot going on (sounds like she's a single mom?)

[msRB311]

I also got a last minute invite to something recently and felt kind of offended. I felt like the people had made plans and then were like, oh we should invite her and her kid. I declined and still feel kind of weird about it. It was mom's on my son's sports team and my DH is the coach. I also don't drink alcohol and these folks seem to not be able to get together without it so there's also that.

[YorktownGal]

Originally Posted by phillygirl123

I’m posting here to vent because I’m super confused and not sure how to approach this. I have a 4 year old son and live next door to a family that also has a 4 yr old son. Have lived next to them for a few years and they have always been over and above neighbors. Like getting packages and putting out my trash if I forgot etc. we have done play dates in past but lately had noticed we hadn’t got together in a while.

Our kids were in the same class at daycare last year but my son got moved to another class because he goes to another daycare near where his dad lives (divorced). Was really upset when my son got moved out because he’s friends with all the kids.

So after those incidents I was thinking maybe I need to start making more of an effort to make plans as I am not usually one initiating plans so maybe she just felt like it was one sided?

We had invited them and the whole class to his party in August but that was when they were in the same class. But I would have still thought he would have been invited now. They’re still buddies and my son is still friends with all the kids in the class. I just know if my son knew he wasn’t invited he would be really disappointed.

I think your neighbor assumes as your son is in a new daycare/class, he's not part of the neighborhood anymore.

I would start to initiate plans - a lot. Let them know your son is still around and wants to be friends.

Can your son make friends in his new daycare class? I would invite those kids over to your house.

Broaden your son's social circle.

[Maddie104]

Originally Posted by phillygirl123

I’m posting here to vent because I’m super confused and not sure how to approach this. I have a 4 year old son and live next door to a family that also has a 4 yr old son. Have lived next to them for a few years and they have always been over and above neighbors. Like getting packages and putting out my trash if I forgot etc. we have done play dates in past but lately had noticed we hadn’t got together in a while.

Our kids were in the same class at daycare last year but my son got moved to another class because he goes to another daycare near where his dad lives (divorced). Was really upset when my son got moved out because he’s friends with all the kids.

A few weeks ago my neighbor mentioned she had a play date with another kid in the class that was my sons best buddy. They never invited us which I thought was kinda strange. Then on New Year’s Eve I get an invite from her at like 5pm that she’s having a few kids from the class over if we wanted to come. I was actually offended as it felt like a last minute invite to me. We did not go.

So after those incidents I was thinking maybe I need to start making more of an effort to make plans as I am not usually one initiating plans so maybe she just felt like it was one sided ? Anyways yesterday was at her husbands 40th birthday and he mentioned they had their sons bday party that weekend. Meanwhile my son was not invited and for some reason that news just hit me in the gut. Made me really upset. We had invited them and the whole class to his party in august but that was when they were in the same class. But I would have still thought he would have been invited now. They’re still buddies and my son is still friends with all the kids in the class. I just know if my son knew he wasn’t invited he would be really disappointed.

So now I’m kinda wondering what is going on here and maybe they’re not as nice neighbors as I thought. Do I bother putting in effort now or move on and find some new play dates for my son ?

That your neighbor mentioned this to you struck me as odd as well. Could this be her way of wanting you to take the initiative and suggest that your son and her son get together?

I think it's a safe assumption that she is waiting on you and agree you should take the initiative to plan something.