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Just saw something so horrifying I have to post here and ask parents this question. Sorry I don't have a link
to show you. It was a YouTube video where a toucan had its' upper beak broken off by a gang of teenagers somewhere in South America? I had to stop the video, as even the thought was torturing.
The good news was that the toucan had been rescued by 2/3-D printer people. The group that rescued the parrot made the bird a new beak so it could live and function.
Here comes the question, after a brief explanation of who I am.
My wife and I married 44 yrs. ago. We opted out of kids. Reading a story like this only strengthens our belief that kids are more trouble than they are worth. I don't even know how I would react if I had a child who had hurt another living thing.
I know that most of you will respond with things like "it depends on how you raise your kids."
You could be right. But what about the parents we see today who let their kids run amuck? Do you think this is genetic or bad parenting,. or a combination of both?
What would you do in this instance? What if your teenage daughter or son bullied another animal/child? Would you take responsibility?
Are you glad you had kids?
Last edited by TerraDown; 11-04-2022 at 10:43 AM..
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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I'm glad we had kids (3) but more glad we had them in the 1980s. Ours have turned out great, in fact we have two grandkids, and two of the 3 have bought houses. There is a combination of factors that have resulted in harder times to raise teens today. I'll give you a few of those I have observed.
-More of the parents both working to make ends meet, less supervision of teens after school.
-More gaming, with a lot of violence being made normal and even admired.
-Social Media, used to impress friends and others, sometimes motivating bad behavior
-Less interest in cars/driving, getting their license at age 16 no longer provides the same level of motivation to behave
As for attacking innocent animals, that is nothing new. I remember kids doing that when I was a teen in the 1960s. Fortunately it's not real common, because it's been found that kids doing that are more likely to turn into serial killers later on. It could be the result of poor parenting, lack of morality, a mental health issue that affects their judgment or just being a bad person.
My wife and I married 44 yrs. ago. We opted out of kids. Reading a story like this only strengthens our belief that kids are more trouble than they are worth. I don't even know how I would react if I had a child who had hurt another living thing.
If this behavior was as common among teenagers as you seem to imagine, you wouldn't have to search it out in a click-bait article from an obscure site reporting news from another continent.
I find the question bizarre, as if this is a common scenario amongst teenagers. It's not.
Some people, of all ages, seem to have no moral compass, but it has ALWAYS been this way. You may as well ask 'help me understand parents", as though all parents raise such monsters.
Generally the type of people who would take responsibility for the actions of their kids are not the ones raising such kids.
I find the question bizarre, as if this is a common scenario amongst teenagers. It's not.
Some people, of all ages, seem to have no moral compass, but it has ALWAYS been this way. You may as well ask 'help me understand parents", as though all parents raise such monsters.
Generally the type of people who would take responsibility for the actions of their kids are not the ones raising such kids.
"Help me understand school shooters!!! Thank goodness hubby and me decided not to birth out a school shooter of our own!"
Why don't you try imagining what your own parents would say if you asked them why they decided to have kids and whether you were worth it? And how they managed to raise you not to be an animal torturer or a school shooter? Then you have your answers.
People are a combination of genetics and raising and sometimes birth defects. Good upbringing usually results in kids that turn out to be decent adults, but sometimes a person is born with defective wiring. It's a birth defect or a disease, and they are not going to be normal decent humans, no matter how they have been raised.
But, generalization, if a parent puts the time and effort in and pays attention to how the child is doing in life, the kid will turn out fine. By far the majority of children are decent little human beings.
Hemlock, thank you. I met my wife in 1979, I do think an era also has something to do with it. I'm glad all of your children have been blessings to you. We need more of them in this world. What we were seeing made us decide not, glad you saw the opposite.
Zentropa, I didn't "search this out," it just gave me a reaction and perhaps you're right. It might have been clickbait, but it scared my pants off. I think the entire world would like to understand why people shoot a group of other people, sorry if the question offends you.
DubbleT, I don't think the continent decides the question, it would most likely happen anywhere.
You saying:
"Generally the type of people who would take responsibility for the actions of their kids are not the ones raising such kids."
has me even more in question...
Saibot, another hard question. That's all I was asking. It's not a truth or dare, just an ask an opinion. Thank you. I think parents must be pretty brave to dive into that pool.
Stagemomma, yeah. It was mostly selfish reasons we didn't want kids. I think parents have to dedicate a lot of their lives to raising kids. You may be right.
I appreciate each and every post. I only want to try and understand. We are old farts by now. Sometimes I miss not having kids, which I can now never do...maybe the article triggered the part of me which is trying to self-gratify, I don't know. But I'm not so old that I can't still ask other peoples thoughts and opinions. That part of me I hope doesn't ever go away.
Last edited by TerraDown; 11-04-2022 at 02:15 PM..
But maybe just what it takes is for someone to step in. Once when I was in the park, 3 youths were interacting with one of our turtles and I said, "Leave the turtle alone, please.". And they did. Now, admittedly, with the way I dress, I probably come across as a Ranger or something (and other than being a witness, a little lost if they refuse to comply), but perhaps that is all it takes.
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