Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What I don’t understand is mothers who get actually sad as their babies are growing up. Like actively yearning for the infant days, the toddler days. I never felt that way. I always embraced each different stage as it developed.
Sure, I’ve felt nostalgic for when they were little and completely dependent. But I don’t remember ever saying or even thinking, “Oh I wish time would stop!” Or “Time, please reverse!”
I've noticed so many people seem to say these days about hard situations with children, oh some day you wont be doing this and you'll miss it. It happened to me when I was pregnant...people would say oh you'll miss bring pregnant, happened when my kids wouldn't go to sleep at night as babies. There's just been so many scenarios of older people saying, you better appreciate this now because some day you'll miss it. I get that babies are precious and the time you spend with them is very valuable, time you can't get back but I dont want to feel sad about this someday.
I do sometimes feel sad when I think of my kids as babies and toddlers. It DOES go by so fast. I did enjoy much of it but yes there were some harder times. I see people my age (or younger) having babies and I don't envy them. If i could have my kids be little again for a day maybe I'd try it to see what it would be like but obviously no one can go back in time.
Do older people want younger parents to feel guilty some day? It feels like a guilt trip. My own mother says this to me a lot when I complain about being home all day with my kids. I don't WANT to be an older person feeling guilty and wishing my kids were little again. Does anyone here feel this way??
I don't know. I have a 23-, 25-, and 27-year-old, and while I enjoyed parenting them as kids, I don't really miss the day to day. I don't miss the miserable routine of school or the non-stop activity. I like them now. They like coming by the house and our dinner conversations are always hilarious.
And I get it. My MIL, a smug, pious youknowwhat would say that kind of stuff all the time. I always wanted to heave a spoonful of mash potatoes at her at the dinner table and tell her to put a sock in it.
well sometimes I wont even be complaining. The other day at the beach my son was on my husbands shoulders. My mom was like, take a picture. I said, I dont have my phone. She is always telling me to take pictures and that someday these things wont be happening. ugh. I get it but sometimes I'd like to just experience life without being reminded that one day they will be older, etc.
I always found this “take a picture” mentality a bit odd. Especially in the grand scheme of things.
Wow… your baby is on your husband’s shoulders… ok? In 25 years he’ll be a freeking doctor or pianist or warehouse worker or… something a little more impressive than a blob sitting on shoulders. Life goes on, some just fixate on the past, before it’s even the past
The days are long but the years are short. My "kids" are adults now. I miss when they were little, when I always knew where they were at night, when they'd snuggle on the couch for stories, when my biggest parenting problems were that little Buddy wouldn't eat his broccoli and little Missy would scream and cry every time we entered a grocery store. Little children, little problems.
Of course, time has also eased the memories of the difficulties of that season! The sleep deprivation and the messes and the tantrums. I remember more the soft, snuggly, sweet times. The photos are of smiling children having fun, not a red-faced child pitching a fit on the floor at CVS over a candy bar they're not getting.
I remember I brought my son into work when he was around 8 weeks old. The CEO of the company (a woman) smiled and said, I dont miss those days at all. I almost thought it was a bit rude at the time...but I guess not everyone enjoyed the newborn phase.
I've noticed so many people seem to say these days about hard situations with children, oh some day you wont be doing this and you'll miss it. It happened to me when I was pregnant...people would say oh you'll miss bring pregnant, happened when my kids wouldn't go to sleep at night as babies. There's just been so many scenarios of older people saying, you better appreciate this now because some day you'll miss it. I get that babies are precious and the time you spend with them is very valuable, time you can't get back but I dont want to feel sad about this someday.
I do sometimes feel sad when I think of my kids as babies and toddlers. It DOES go by so fast. I did enjoy much of it but yes there were some harder times. I see people my age (or younger) having babies and I don't envy them. If i could have my kids be little again for a day maybe I'd try it to see what it would be like but obviously no one can go back in time.
Do older people want younger parents to feel guilty some day? It feels like a guilt trip. My own mother says this to me a lot when I complain about being home all day with my kids. I don't WANT to be an older person feeling guilty and wishing my kids were little again. Does anyone here feel this way??
I did have a few moments during a difficult time when my daughter was an adult longing for that little girl I once had. But I sorted it out by accepting that those days are past and that the little girl will always exist in my memory. The difficult time passed, and my daughter as an adult is a great person, a smart and compassionate woman of good character, which was my goal in raising her.
I was not fond of being pregnant at any point. It was a sad and fearful time in my life, and I didn't have all these flowers and butterflies feelings that some women claim to experience. I had wanted a child, but I felt like an alien had invaded my body. My mother-in-law was dying, my husband turned into a jackass the day I found out I was pregnant, and with my luck I expected something might be wrong with my baby. In fact, I hardly ever felt her move for days at a time, so I could not let myself feel excited about being a mom until she was born healthy.
I always found this “take a picture” mentality a bit odd. Especially in the grand scheme of things.
Wow… your baby is on your husband’s shoulders… ok? In 25 years he’ll be a freeking doctor or pianist or warehouse worker or… something a little more impressive than a blob sitting on shoulders. Life goes on, some just fixate on the past, before it’s even the past
And in 25 years, I'll be an old man, physically unable to carry my child on my shoulders even to take them out of a burning building. But it's nice to be able to look back on a time when I could carry my child on my shoulders, and my child wanted to be carried on my shoulders.
Do older people want younger parents to feel guilty some day? It feels like a guilt trip. My own mother says this to me a lot when I complain about being home all day with my kids. I don't WANT to be an older person feeling guilty and wishing my kids were little again. Does anyone here feel this way??
I think telling a parent that he or she will miss this is a way to help keep things in perspective. My son took years longer than most kids to become nighttime potty trained, and so for years he would wake me up in the night to inform me that he had had an accident. I certainly won't miss being jolted awake night after night to have to go and clean up his soiled sheets and pajamas. But it might have helped me focus on what's important if I had been told that I would miss the fact that it was to me he would come, mournfully clutching his favorite stuffed animal, with the trusting expectation that Daddy would clean up the mess and make it all better. Likewise, when my daughter was about age 6 or so, there was about a year when, once or twice a week, she'd wake up in the night and crawl into bed with me. Again, I certainly didn't miss the sleep deprivation that this caused. But it would have helped me "weather the storm" if I had been told that I would miss her sweet trust and innocence, when merely cuddling up with Daddy in the night would calm whatever it was that was causing her to be scared.
And in 25 years, I'll be an old man, physically unable to carry my child on my shoulders even to take them out of a burning building. But it's nice to be able to look back on a time when I could carry my child on my shoulders, and my child wanted to be carried on my shoulders.
I mean i get what my mom was saying here....one day my son won't be able to fit on my husband's shoulders nor will he be eager to get on them.
This summer has been somewhat difficult. My DH has been going to work, I'm working at home but sometimes DH acts like I dont have a job. He leaves kids home with me. They do have camps in the morning and the evening but there's been a lot of in between time. I am looking forward to school starting again but feel like i should be enjoying these moments of trying to work and hang out with my kids.
It's one of those things parent say without thinking much about it, maybe? Like, "Eat your peas. Kids are starving in
India." Never could figure out how that was going to help them.
But I like the thought that it might help a person get a sense of perspective on how long and varied our lives can be and why not try to find the good in each phase.
A country singer even does a song about it that is appropriately bittersweet.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
re
