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Sure we admit to it. Maybe not on City-Data, where the judgmental, self-righteous people who have never made a mistake will be all over you like white on rice.
My mistake was that I married a man with an addictive predisposition, but I was too damn naive and inexperienced to understand that he was doomed to go down the drain as he got older. His father was an alkie, his grandmother, etc. My parents didn't drink or gamble. I had no experience with that world. I merrily passed those genes on to our only child.
I raised my kid with the knowledge that addiction was hereditary. She was terrified to touch alcohol for fear she would be an alcoholic like her father. She was the biggest straight-edge geek you ever wanted to meet in high school. Dated the son of a preacher man for four years of high school and spent her Friday nights practicing her saxophone in the church basement with the rest of the youth group band.
She went to college and was dismayed at her suitemates' partying habits. Changed her major and transferred to another school. Then, at 19, she allowed herself to go out and have a drink once in a while. She graduated summa *** laude with two degrees and moved to China to teach English to Chinese children.
By that time, she was drinking to blackout stage, and apparently, drugs flow like water in China. By the time she came back from Asia, she was unable to distinguish reality from her dreams, and she began to plan her suicide. She moved back to where she had gone to college to carry out her plan so I wouldn't see it.
She failed. She ended up in a nuthouse and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which I believe her father has but never sought help for. It only took five years from goody-two-shoes to near death.
That was a little over three years ago. Since then, she has returned to school, just graduated with her Master's, is halfway to her PhD and in fact gave a presentation on her pilot in both Hong Kong and Paris this past year. She's also a leader and organizer in her local YPAA (Young People's Alcoholics Anonymous) and an outspoken advocate of seeking help for mental illness, which I know from your posts you scorn and ridicule, but having actually experienced the devastation of a mental illness that nearly killed her, she wants other people to feel free to address their issues as a health problem, despite those who get their rocks off scorning and ridiculing them for their illness.
Did that answer your question?
You sound very bitter.
Your daughter sought help for her mental health issues and is working a program. I have nothing but admiration for people who put in the work to change destructive habits.
I have little sympathy for those who adopt labels and become victims - not people who own their stuff and do whatever they can to lead positive lives.
Not scientific, but I suspect that genetics plays a huge part. A person is genetically programed to welcome and enjoy drug effect, or they are not. The same with alcohol. Alcohol really hits the spot, or else it is merely a social thing.
I've taken opioids after surgery. I hated them and couldn't wait to get off of them. I can't even imagine why anyone would take them for pleasure. My son had opioids after surgery and he hated them and couldn't wait to get off of them. I preferred a bit of pain to the opioids and got off of them as soon as I could tolerate the pain level.
Obviously, addicts are having a different reaction to them that they want to take more of them. I didn't find anything about them to be nice or pleasurable. Also, my withdrawal systems were extremely mild and didn't even qualify as uncomfortable and I'd been on them for a couple of months.
The same with alcohol. I don't like the way it feels and so I am not a drinker. Very obviously, it does feel good to a lot of people. They drink, sometimes to excess, and I don't.
This is an interesting discussion. I was initially interested in the fact that there are a huge number of drug addicts in the U.S. - yet, so little discussion of WHY this is the case. And yes, it is complicated.
There are also great numbers of homeless people in the U.S., and many of them have addiction issues. The great percentage of people on the streets are male - so there is that variable.
I am sure there are social reasons and individual psychological reasons why people take certain paths in life. I wish there was more general discussion about these problems.
There are also families that teach their kids to be destructive through the parents modeling (families that are in gangs and deal drugs, etc.)
There are so many issues - once someone becomes a drug addict, some get and stay sober, and some have a really hard time turning their lives around.
There is also a "rehab industry" that preys on families, basically - I experienced this. Families are so upset when their loved one is addicted to drugs and want to help - to "fix" the problem - and might spend great sums of money on a 30 day program, which is a complete waste of time and money. These rehab mills elicit the family - who often have to travel great distances to come visit, to attend "family days" - everyone is full of hope, then the person gets out and starts the entire cycle again - and often again, and again. This puts a huge strain on families, particularly mothers who are super bonded with their children.
So, yes, many factors and many variables.
There are also spiritual components (as to why someone would put their families through such experiences).
Not scientific, but I suspect that genetics plays a huge part. A person is genetically programed to welcome and enjoy drug effect, or they are not. The same with alcohol. Alcohol really hits the spot, or else it is merely a social thing.
I've taken opioids after surgery. I hated them and couldn't wait to get off of them. I can't even imagine why anyone would take them for pleasure. My son had opioids after surgery and he hated them and couldn't wait to get off of them. I preferred a bit of pain to the opioids and got off of them as soon as I could tolerate the pain level.
Obviously, addicts are having a different reaction to them that they want to take more of them. I didn't find anything about them to be nice or pleasurable. Also, my withdrawal systems were extremely mild and didn't even qualify as uncomfortable and I'd been on them for a couple of months.
The same with alcohol. I don't like the way it feels and so I am not a drinker. Very obviously, it does feel good to a lot of people. They drink, sometimes to excess, and I don't.
Drugs are pleasurable to many people - the difference between "normies" and addicts is that normies learn from their mistakes, and many addicts refuse to, despite negative consequences. It's the negative consequences part that is the difference in personalities or character (from my point-of-view).
Wow. I disagree. You asked for stories and implied that only bad parents had kids with drug problems.
And several posters said they knew good families with one of the children having drug problems.
I had one too.
We're not bitter, we are commando moms and dads that fought for our children to get them through this horrible devastating drug problem before they ended up dying of an overdose.
My good neighbors helped me get through this, they each had a child they had fought for. They said God only gives the wayward children to the strongest of mothers, starting with Eve.
I know I'll be booed off the stage for this remark, but Astrology also plays a role. In my 35 years of studying Astrology, a Moon in Sagittarius or Pisces, and even Moon in Scorpio, or a sun in the 12th house, often shows up in their charts.
Drugs, alcohol are spirits, so these people are really having spiritual problems, and they need to find a more positive spiritual outlet. And it's been said that the U.S. is the most spiritually bankrupt country in the world. In India they even have an American Temple where they pray that one day the U.S. will become more spiritual.
Drug addicts/alcoholics can arise from the best and worst parents! And I disavow parenting as a strong factor.
I don't know about the particular astrological issues, but I do agree that drug addiction is a spiritual problem - that is why when some people truly find a "higher power" (as in AA), then can recover.
I also believe in reincarnation and I think we all incarnate to teach and learn particular lessons.
Drugs are pleasurable to many people - the difference between "normies" and addicts is that normies learn from their mistakes, and many addicts refuse to, despite negative consequences. It's the negative consequences part that is the difference in personalities or character (from my point-of-view).
I think it's more that in addicts, the brain causes strong physical cravings, while in "normies," it does not. Once addicted, the individual can't feel normal unless they are using the object of their craving. If you don't have an addiction, it's easy to say that you're one of the "good people" who learned from your mistakes, but that's not actually how it works. Addiction is known to be a physical health condition, affecting chemicals in the brain; it's not a character defect.
Not scientific, but I suspect that genetics plays a huge part. A person is genetically programed to welcome and enjoy drug effect, or they are not. The same with alcohol. Alcohol really hits the spot, or else it is merely a social thing.
I've taken opioids after surgery. I hated them and couldn't wait to get off of them. I can't even imagine why anyone would take them for pleasure. My son had opioids after surgery and he hated them and couldn't wait to get off of them. I preferred a bit of pain to the opioids and got off of them as soon as I could tolerate the pain level.
Obviously, addicts are having a different reaction to them that they want to take more of them. I didn't find anything about them to be nice or pleasurable. Also, my withdrawal systems were extremely mild and didn't even qualify as uncomfortable and I'd been on them for a couple of months.
The same with alcohol. I don't like the way it feels and so I am not a drinker. Very obviously, it does feel good to a lot of people. They drink, sometimes to excess, and I don't.
You bring up a great point about the effects of opioids.
I was prescribed a high dose of Vicodin after both my Achilles tendons surgeries. I didn't even use the whole prescription either time and recently I realized that I have about a thousand dollars worth of street drugs in my house - LOL! I just quit taking them after about ten days. Oh well. Nothing to it one way or the other. Since I was on them for less than two weeks both times, I had zero withdrawal symptoms.
My brother on the other hand, took one Vicodin, and ended up out in the backyard beating his head against a tree and hallucinating and yelling at my parents to give him more drugs. This was after he had his wisdom teeth removed.
Markedly different effects on two full siblings.
Also, while I do admit freely to enjoying a glass of wine sitting out on the patio, I hardly ever drink beer or "hard liquor." On the occasions that I have drunk to excess (a few times in my life), I don't get rambunctious, or rowdy, or sick - I just go to sleep. My brother on the other hand gets wild as a march hare, whatever that means, and tends to mix drugs and alcohol together, basically at every opportunity. Me? I'd be too scared I'd end up in a coma or whatever to do that!
Wow. I disagree. You asked for stories and implied that only bad parents had kids with drug problems.
And several posters said they knew good families with one of the children having drug problems.
I had one too.
We're not bitter, we are commando moms and dads that fought for our children to get them through this horrible devastating drug problem before they ended up dying of an overdose.
My good neighbors helped me get through this, they each had a child they had fought for. They said God only gives the wayward children to the strongest of mothers, starting with Eve.
I did not word the title or the OP correctly.
I was wondering about *WHO* is raising all of the drug addicts - we have more now than ever before - I was just curious about the sheer numbers and the fact you never hear any discussion about the families involved.
I know, first hand, what it is like for families, so I don't disparage good families who have done everything in their power to raise good kids - I was just wondering about the "rest" of the families - the ones who are not so good - and by "good" I only mean decent, well-meaning, well-intentioned, good-hearted - nothing about economics or any other factors.
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