Question for new parents and balancing work with raising a child???

[BirdieBelle]

Does your commute vary? I don't understand how that will change. Do you work at various locations?

Originally Posted by RunD1987

... and spend more time at home.

What some of us who've been there are trying to tell you is that sometimes regular shorter intervals of relief, or time at home, can be better than long stretches with you away, even with long stretches of you being there.

Knowing that I had to gut through a 12-hour day with infant twins by myself was more tolerable than when I would face a weekend on my own with them.

Your preferences may vary, but you two won't know that until the baby arrives and you see what life with an infant is really like.

[RunD1987]

I trim close to 700 miles a month is the biggest factor for condensing my work schedule.

It would also work out if wife could work eves and be off the weekends.

[utsci]

Quite frankly, you have no idea of how exhausting and all-consuming kids can be.

Babies are nothing compared to later on. Babies are a lot of maintenance from a parenting perspective. That being said, most babies are going to thrive on a schedule, not the chaos that your post describes. You will not be able to schedule things the way you describe. Babies are generally on an on-demand feeding schedule which will mess with both of your sleep. Whether bottle or breast fed, the baby is going to cry and wake both of you up, and then someone has to feed, burp, diaper, rinse, repeat every 2-4 hours in the beginning. Even as the baby moves on in the first year you are looking at growth spurts, getting sick (they are quite the little germ bombs especially if at daycare), just when you get used to a schedule or pattern it changes. And the biggest thing is someone has to be tracking continuity. How much did the baby take at each feeding, how much sleep, do we need to shorten naps to get longer night time routine, how did they do with the latest solid food intro, etc. I stayed home until she was 10 months, husband worked full time nights. Then we switched and he stayed home, I worked full time nights while he went back for another degree during the day. We had a SAHM next door with 5 kids so when we needed someone in a pinch or if the baby was sick, she was always available.

Just sayin', now is the time to talk about what is important to you as a family, things you want to do together, values you want your child to have. Does your MIL see eye-to-eye with you on child rearing, discipline, eating habits,learning, play. Sometimes even my husband and I couldn't agree, and both of our mothers were totally out in left field from us. There are so many moving parts. Good luck!