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we live downtown and she lives a mile away, her job is out in the boondocks and is often an 11pm to 7am job with very intermittent bus service, for peace of mind we dont mind lending her one of our cars when she is on that graveyard shift as its up to a two hour ordeal one way on the bus or half an hour if she drives, it also forces her to interact with us when she picks up the car or drops it off,
Since she sees you when she is picking up and dropping off the car, maybe she feels like she sees you all the time and doesn't need to plan other interactions with you. I would also think that if she is working those hours, then she probably is too tired or is wanting to sleep when everyone else is having lunch or dinner. Instead of lunch or dinner, have you asked her if she wants to have breakfast with you when she gets off from work?
we live downtown and she lives a mile away, her job is out in the boondocks and is often an 11pm to 7am job with very intermittent bus service, for peace of mind we dont mind lending her one of our cars when she is on that graveyard shift as its up to a two hour ordeal one way on the bus or half an hour if she drives, it also forces her to interact with us when she picks up the car or drops it off,
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
Since she sees you when she is picking up and dropping off the car, maybe she feels like she sees you all the time and doesn't need to plan other interactions with you. I would also think that if she is working those hours, then she probably is too tired or is wanting to sleep when everyone else is having lunch or dinner. Instead of lunch or dinner, have you asked her if she wants to have breakfast with you when she gets off from work?
Your extra information really changes the story. Letting her borrow a car, especially while you are sleeping & not using it, to save her a four hour trip on the bus is very reasonable.
I agree with Sundaydrive. My husband used to work third shift, it is almost impossible to have a normal social life. Just imagine how often you and your husband would want to get together with someone if they invite you to have lunch with them at 2 AM or for a party at 4 AM or 5 AM. I bet that you would say "No, we are too tired" or "No, we are too busy", just like your daughter is saying to you.
Inviting her to spend a little more time with you before or after her job is a great idea.
Normal, she's learning how to live on her own. She probably is busy with work & friends. Step back a little. Ask her for a visit in advance. That way she probably won't have plans yet. In think you're reading to much into it.
While this doesn't necessarily apply to your daughter, it is common in people who frequently work the night shift or rotate shifts on a regular basis.
There's always the potential that she is busy with friends or deliberately leaving you out for one reason or another, but if her excuse is often tiredness, I'd wonder about the potential of shift work sleep disorder. She may be just blowing you off, but she could also be getting really poor sleep.
Your extra information really changes the story. Letting her borrow a car, especially while you are sleeping & not using it, to save her a four hour trip on the bus is very reasonable.
I agree with Sundaydrive. My husband used to work third shift, it is almost impossible to have a normal social life. Just imagine how often you and your husband would want to get together with someone if they invite you to have lunch with them at 2 AM or for a party at 4 AM or 5 AM. I bet that you would say "No, we are too tired" or "No, we are too busy", just like your daughter is saying to you.
Inviting her to spend a little more time with you before or after her job is a great idea.
Ya like the entire story.
Went from self absorbed jerk to kid that is working a lot & supporting herself.
And they want dinner invites and feel abandoned???
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