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Old 01-22-2017, 08:21 AM
 
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My husband would have a 5th if I agreed. But after 4 I am done. I adore babies, and enjoyed pregnancy. I've been able to stay home with them while they're young.

My time and energy is simply spread too thin to add another pregnancy/breastfeeding/newborn/toddler into the mix. I had my 4 in my 20's and early 30's so, honestly, I'd be concerned about it being physically more difficult now in mid-late 30's

ETA: I'm not worried about "overpopulation" The world needs more kids like mine.
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Old 01-22-2017, 08:49 AM
 
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My answer to you is - in 1 or 2 years, your daughter will start becoming not so docile.... You will plunge into living with an adolescent.... It will consume the majority of your thoughts. You will forget about having a third. Or, if you have a baby by that time, the coexistence of two hormonal women in the house.... oh boy.
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Old 01-22-2017, 08:57 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatsnext75 View Post
Well im going to age whether i have a baby or not. I think a lot of it is how busy i am and how much busier ill be if i have another. Also finances come into play. If we want to take trips it's another plane ticket, another education tuition, seat at the dinner table. Im pretty frugral. So i guess im leaning towards no. If i were younger maybe it would he different...i dont know how women over 40 decide to have a 3rd or 4th baby. I can see having one at that age if you had none...but people seem to do whatever they want these days because they feel like it. It's all about individual happiness and not necessarily what's best for other people.
This is where I have an issue with the tone of your posts here. You seem to have this preoccupation with what other people are doing and at what ages. Almost as if you care more about the world than lesser mortals. Who made you judge and jury on the topic of what's best for every other person. If you want to have another child, knock yourself out, if you don't, then don't. Let others do what's best for them.

Frankly, it seems like you have made up your mind on stopping at 2 and you are just posting here to laud your superior decision making over others who are choosing to do something different from what you think they should be doing..ooops, having "3rd and 4th babies in their forties"

Just do you!
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Old 01-22-2017, 08:57 AM
 
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Lol of course no one thinks they are adding to over population with their own kids and every one assumes their own kids will turn out to be amazing people.
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Old 01-22-2017, 09:08 AM
 
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I think it's natural to wonder and worry about where society and the world is going when it comes to reproduction and when people do it. Look at all that is said about teenage pregnancy. There is a huge stigma and people think it's down right wrong for teens or even people under 25 these days to have babies. So why is it not ok to wonder about someone over 40 who continues to have babies? Ive seen plenty of people spwew judgement about 18 to 20 year olds having kids and they're adults..but say it about a 42 year old and it's blasphemy.
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Old 01-22-2017, 09:09 AM
 
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Well the decision to go from 2 to 3 was made for me.

Second planned pregnancy was supposed to be one ..... one decided he wanted company, so there were twin boys.

Neither will confess to being the one who said I want company.
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Old 01-22-2017, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,421,545 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete View Post
I don't know, but for us, going from 2 to 3 was much harder than going from 1 to 2. My first two were pretty mellow kids, but my third was a very high-needs baby; having two kids kept us busy, but a third... whoa nelly! Sheer chaos. Not that we can imagine life without our third (before we had him,it really did feel like someone was missing), but it is definitely tougher when kids outnumber parents.
My niece & spouse have three children and they say that the big difference is going from "man to man defense to zone defense".

She also feels that, at least for her family, the jump from 2 to 3 children was much, much more difficult than the jump from 1 to 2 children. Even the day to day things like needing to buy a car that was able to fit three car seats/booster seats plus two parents, plus "supplies" (school bags, groceries, etc. etc.).

For a long time, they have had children in three different schools/day care situations because of their age difference (six years) and that will happen again in a few years when the youngest is in the K-2 school, big brother in 3-5 school and big sister in middle school. And it will happen again when the youngest is in elementary school (3-5), the middle child in middle school and the oldest in HS (and most years they will have children in two different schools with different schedules).

And, in their case, Whoa Nelly!, the finances took a huge, huge hit. She has said that while it was manageable with two children, having one more mouth to feed, one more admission ticket to events, one more plane ticket or set of luggage in the car on vacations, let alone thinking ahead to helping one more child with expense as a teenager & college student, they are a little worried.

Of course, your situation may be much different.
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Old 01-22-2017, 09:45 AM
 
772 posts, read 1,071,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatsnext75 View Post
I think it's natural to wonder and worry about where society and the world is going when it comes to reproduction and when people do it. Look at all that is said about teenage pregnancy. There is a huge stigma and people think it's down right wrong for teens or even people under 25 these days to have babies. So why is it not ok to wonder about someone over 40 who continues to have babies? Ive seen plenty of people spwew judgement about 18 to 20 year olds having kids and they're adults..but say it about a 42 year old and it's blasphemy.
We must know completely different people. I definitely don't know of any stigma around people under 25 earning good enough income having babies. Under 25 is a broad group. For instance 21-25 is very different from 15 - 18. I didn't have kids under 25 neither did I have kids over 42 (I'm still 6 years from there) but I do have many friends and family who started having kids between the ages of 21 - 25 but they were educated and earning an income. This is very different from teenage pregnancy than you seem to want to lump it all together. No stigma there. I also know people who have had kids in their early 40s. Again no stigma there.

My point is that as long as you are an income earning adult and able to care for your children, it's really none of my business when you have your children even if I wouldn't make the same choices whatever they are for myself.
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Old 01-22-2017, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Native Floridian, USA
5,298 posts, read 7,703,990 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whatsnext75 View Post
I think it's natural to wonder and worry about where society and the world is going when it comes to reproduction and when people do it. Look at all that is said about teenage pregnancy. There is a huge stigma and people think it's down right wrong for teens or even people under 25 these days to have babies. So why is it not ok to wonder about someone over 40 who continues to have babies? Ive seen plenty of people spwew judgement about 18 to 20 year olds having kids and they're adults..but say it about a 42 year old and it's blasphemy.
I agree with most of this except the under 25 statement. I KNOW the earth is overpopulated. Read the statistics. The population is growing exponentially {growth whose rate becomes ever more rapid in proportion to the growing total number or size.}.We are all vying for space, finite resources, jobs, food.......We will definitely reach a point where the population growth is not sustainable. I know, we can push that on down the road. Just sayin'. I should have stopped at 2 but went on to 4. I would not have given up a one of them but, quality of life for all would have been better at 2.

OP, only you can answer your questions. Good luck. Very interesting, thoughtful thread. Thx.
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Old 01-22-2017, 10:50 AM
 
3,268 posts, read 3,357,592 times
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I think people are aware the earth is overpopulated but they don't care when it comes to their own reproduction...and part of me gets that. Why should i not have any children when mary and susie so and so had 5 or 6 a piece. Ive been thinking of overpopulation for a while even before i had kids. Im not sure why some people feel the need to have 4 or 5, the earth doesn't need to them to have 5 kids...and having 5 kids these days cant be easy for anyone no matter how much money you have ( but really how many people in the world actually have endless amounts of money at their fingertips)

So yeah i guess my post got off topic a bit, but in the end we are doing the earth a favor and future generations by not having 5 or 6 kids a piece...but i can tell plenty of people here dont give a sh@t about that.
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