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Lots of great comments here, but I just want to reiterate that my son brought this to my attention. Not the other way around. That's why it concerned me...because if he mentioned it, I think it must be bothering him. I hadn't really thought about it before he mentioned his thoughts to me.
But after reading so many different experiences, I'm not concerned at all. I never was really concerned actually. I was just looking for some thoughts on ways I could help him work through this if he is worried about it.
Lots of kids go through a heavier phase where they become chunky before they grow.
And plenty of people are klutzy in their teen years. Some of them never grow out of it, most do but for every great baseball player there are kids that can't hit the ball off a tee, and it isn't particularly abnormal or developmentaly notable. Fortunately hand eye coordination isn't a prerequisite for success in life.
He doesn't sound that different than a juvenile version of the IT department. Most of those guys found wives.
My point is that some people flourish in High School, and some take longer. Kids in HS are juvenile and kinda mean, and he may be learning how best to react or not react. For all the well dressed, groomed, smooth athletes, for all the charming nerds in the theatre department, there are kids that aren't on that level, socially.
Teaching hygiene and whatnot are relatively simple from a parenting perspective.
How to dress and whatnot eventually is picked up from parents, even if it takes til after high school for whatever reason.
Thank you for this. And yes, he reminds me very much of his uncle, who is the director of an IT department for a large public school district. My husband reminded me when we were talking about this that his brother (said uncle) didn't date until his first year in college when his now wife decided that he was the guy for her. They've been happily married for years and have 3 kids.
Don't worry. If he's frustrated with the kids at school he probably doesn't want to be like them. Most of them probably are crazy for the opposite sex, acting up and he probably doesn't want to act like they do. When he finds his place in his new school, he will start to feel like he can do things like everyone else does. It was the same for me at that age. My classmates were idiots, with public displays of affection, getting drunk, getting pregnant and I declared to my parents that I was never getting married, etc....not true because all is normal now.
Don't you think you're jumping the gun a little by referring to your son as a "late bloomer" at 15? A lot of parents would be thrilled to have a kid that's more interested in studying than shacking up the day they hit puberty. Let him figure things out on his own and support him regardless.
Maybe he's insulating himself from disappointment a little when he says he's not interested in girls. High school is a social pressure cooker where cliques dominate. Hard working, intelligent students aren't often the most popular and it seems like your son has a superiority complex that is a little bit of a coping mechanism. Hell, I felt like most of my classmates were idiots as well. High school sucks for intelligent, awkward, and sensitive kids. They don't need the added pressure of parents trying to force them into relationships that they really don't want.
Lots of great comments here, but I just want to reiterate that my son brought this to my attention. Not the other way around. That's why it concerned me...because if he mentioned it, I think it must be bothering him. I hadn't really thought about it before he mentioned his thoughts to me.
But after reading so many different experiences, I'm not concerned at all. I never was really concerned actually. I was just looking for some thoughts on ways I could help him work through this if he is worried about it.
Yeah.. it's good that he sees the difference - it shows he is observant and aware. But do let him know that it's absolutely nothing to worry about. He will find interest when the time is right for him to do so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DTL3000
Don't you think you're jumping the gun a little by referring to your son as a "late bloomer" at 15? A lot of parents would be thrilled to have a kid that's more interested in studying than shacking up the day they hit puberty. Let him figure things out on his own and support him regardless.
Maybe he's insulating himself from disappointment a little when he says he's not interested in girls. High school is a social pressure cooker where cliques dominate. Hard working, intelligent students aren't often the most popular and it seems like your son has a superiority complex that is a little bit of a coping mechanism. Hell, I felt like most of my classmates were idiots as well. High school sucks for intelligent, awkward, and sensitive kids. They don't need the added pressure of parents trying to force them into relationships that they really don't want.
I guess if people would really read what OP has been saying through here, they wouldn't be saying things like the above.. he came to her, DTL, and she is supportive.
How normal is it for a nearly 15 year old boy not to be interested in girls. My son was just telling me that he doesn't think he'll ever be interested in girls. He then went on to tell me about Nikola Tesla, who apparently never had any romantic relationships because he was holed up in his lab inventing things.
My son is definitely that sort...engineering/invention minded. He also loves politics and scours the latest political developments and is very well-read. I'm wondering if there is some connection between his intellect and sexual development. Is he not interested because he is so distracted by other things that are more important to him? He appears to be developing physically very normally...changing voice, growth spurt, hair legs, etc.
I would not have admitted it to my mom when I first got interested in boys, too embarrassing. Maybe he is interested, just not comfortable talking about it.
Don't you think you're jumping the gun a little by referring to your son as a "late bloomer" at 15? A lot of parents would be thrilled to have a kid that's more interested in studying than shacking up the day they hit puberty. Let him figure things out on his own and support him regardless.
Maybe he's insulating himself from disappointment a little when he says he's not interested in girls. High school is a social pressure cooker where cliques dominate. Hard working, intelligent students aren't often the most popular and it seems like your son has a superiority complex that is a little bit of a coping mechanism. Hell, I felt like most of my classmates were idiots as well. High school sucks for intelligent, awkward, and sensitive kids. They don't need the added pressure of parents trying to force them into relationships that they really don't want.
Great point! Maybe a girl he was interested in was not interested back. As a defense mechanism against rejection, he could be saying he is not interested.
I was just thinking that it's worth noting the difference between liking/being interested in girls and wanting a relationship/to date.
At 14-15 I was attracted to women, but I didn't have a great interest in dating/relationships.
This as well. I was definitely attracted to women in my mid to late teen years, but wasn't interested in dating/relationships till I almost hit my now mid 20's.
He is 14, for Pete's sake. No way you should be labeling him as a late bloomer.
Give him a break!
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