Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
And I guess I am devastated because before she went off to college I gave her condoms. I've always stressed to her how important safe sex it's. Apparently she didn't listen. I know that this drug can be used to treat other things, but I really don't think that that is the case. She would have mentioned it to me if it was something innocent.
It's been a while since I've had sex ed classes, but I'm pretty sure there are many many ways to spread herpes that condoms do not protect against.
Besides, you should be proud your independent daughter is responsible enough to take care of herself.
And besides that, you should know a LARGE percentage of the population carries the herpes virus.
Where was the prescription bottle before the cleaning, and where is it now?
If the area around where the bottle was is magically organized and clean, it's not a stretch for her to figure out you saw the bottle while you were cleaning. So she knows you know. And despite your best intentions, to her it will look like you were using the cleaning as an excuse to snoop. Not a good situation.
And as others have said, do not -- I repeat do NOT -- bring this up with her. The absolute worst thing you could do in this situation is bring that up. "Hey, I was just in your room invading your privacy, so can I invade your privacy more by talking about what I found?"
Wanting to talk to her about that medication is actually another form of snooping. Let it go, at a certain point you have to let her take the driver's seat in life, let that time be now.
And I guess I am devastated because before she went off to college I gave her condoms. I've always stressed to her how important safe sex it's. Apparently she didn't listen. I know that this drug can be used to treat other things, but I really don't think that that is the case. She would have mentioned it to me if it was something innocent.
Condoms do not provide as much protection from herpes as other STDs. They also don't provide as much protection against HPV. Maybe you should have better informed yourself before talking to her about safe sex.
Do not ask her about it; it is none of your business. If she wanted you to know, she would have told you. And she's 19, for goodness' sake. Stop cleaning her room for her.
If she doesn't pay rent, then you are completely entitled to do whatever you want in your room in your house. As for the pills, her life her choice. Confronting her about it won't really accomplish anything positive. Be happy that she was responsible enough to address and take care of the problem with or without your help. If you make a big deal about it, then it will only lead to unnecessary strife and start to drive a divide between the two of you. Just let her know where you put them while you were cleaning up the mess that she left in one of the rooms in your house.
If you are really concerned about the pills then talk to her as an adult and not a child. Yes, she is your daughter, but she is your adult daughter now and deserves the respect of an adult and not that of a child. At that age, I think we all strived for that recognition from our parents. I know that when I was treated as an adult at that age, I tended to act more responsibly and less like a kid with the new toy of freedom.
Condoms do not provide as much protection from herpes as other STDs. They also don't provide as much protection against HPV. Maybe you should have better informed yourself before talking to her about safe sex.
Do not ask her about it; it is none of your business. If she wanted you to know, she would have told you. And she's 19, for goodness' sake. Stop cleaning her room for her.
Really? I'm guessing the mom didn't just throw condoms at her and mentioned that the only way to avoid STDs is to not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex.
It's been a while since I've had sex ed classes, but I'm pretty sure there are many many ways to spread herpes that condoms do not protect against.
Besides, you should be proud your independent daughter is responsible enough to take care of herself.
And besides that, you should know a LARGE percentage of the population carries the herpes virus.
So you're assuming the mom never mentioned the only way to avoid STDs is to not have vaginal, anal, or oral sex.
But I agree the mom has no idea if it's because of other DX like cold sores or such. But she claims their relationship is such that she would have told her.
If it's genital herpes the daughter is probably simply embarrassed.
She must have noticed that you cleaned her room. Has she given any indication that she thinks you may have seen the prescription?
She's an adult. She had a problem and she sought treatment. Don't tell her you found her prescription. She may think you were snooping and that will destroy any trust she had in you..
If she brings it up herself that's the perfect opportunity to remind her that if she ever has a problem that she needs guidance with that you'll willing help her and not judge.
But I'm in the camp that because she lives in your house she should keep her room decent looking and food free.
I know that this drug can be used to treat other things, but I really don't think that that is the case. She would have mentioned it to me if it was something innocent.
Also used to treat cold sores. If it was something that innocent, why would she mention it at all???
If it were my daughter I would mention it. But in a "hey do you need any help with that, do you like your doctor, does it hurt is there anything else I can get for you" kind of way. And also perhaps an "I'm proud of you for figuring out how to take care of yourself by going to the doctor when you have a problem" sort of way.
And I guess I am devastated because before she went off to college I gave her condoms. I've always stressed to her how important safe sex it's. Apparently she didn't listen. I know that this drug can be used to treat other things, but I really don't think that that is the case. She would have mentioned it to me if it was something innocent.
Look, my son would probably be the same way. AND his room was always a mess and piles of laundry and he had NO PROBLEM with me cleaning it and doing the laundry - even in his apartment during college. A tee shirt collector, I'd be taking bags to the laundromat and having 6 washers running at once. He thought it was awesome LOL.
BUT IDK if he'd tell me he had herpes outbreaks. He totally would be complaining about cold sores. And of course shingle and chicken pox, but he already had pox as a kid. He still complains that my mother created scars on his forehead by mopping them too much. LOL
I DO KNOW he wouldn't have a problem with me talking to him in this situation because that's the type of relationship we have.
If you have to ask, then you're relationship is different.
But I WOULD FOR SURE tell her. She's going to be your daughter for life and I don't believe in keeping secrets like this.
Just say, Hey, did you think you couldn't confide in me or were you embarrassed?
Because I agree if it were for cold sores, most 19 yr olds would have mentioned it. But lets say she had cold sores. Because you'd probably KNOW if she had chicken pox or shingles.
Is she the type of kid who wouldn't even understand about that treatment and virus? I she the type of kid who wouldn't call you and say "OMG I have this gross cold sore." Or is she the type who would just blow it off as no big deal?
THIS medication like others has adverse reactions and side effects and I feel it's your obligation to be involved but NOT in a nagging or "I told you so" way because THAT is probably what she's afraid of and just embarrassed.
Maybe she had a problem BEFORE college if the script was as soon as she got there and just didn't have a way to get treatment at home?
IDK but talk with her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
LOL
