Has this gotten out of hand (re: helicopter parenting) (child support, teens, support)
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I consider us middle of the spectrum.. Not truly helicopter but not free range either. For instance, looked for a house with a fenced in back yard and my kids play 6 and under kids play outside on their own with us inside the house but i can see them from the window. They have been taught not to ever open the gate that goes outside to the front. We walk to school with them but they ride ahead on scooters or bikes and wait for us at the end of the road and not cross. They know never to leave to their 4 year old sibling alone and ride off. Depending on where, like a restaurant where the restroom is inside vs a gas station, they can go alone and know to wipe the seats and put the paper cover where available.
My 6 year olds make their beds every day and pick up their laundry. On laundry day, they know how to load the washer. They can pack / make their school lunch for the next day and will rinse out their used dishes. They go grocery shopping and know to go to other aisles to get items on the list or run back to get an item that i forgot when I'm at the cashier line. They know to scream at the top of their voices if a stranger is trying to drag them off anywhere. They also know to stand where they are if a stranger stops their car and ask them to come closer.
On the other end, I would never let my kids play outside in the backyard if our yard wasnt fenced and I certainly wont let my kids at this age walk to school without an adult even though they pretend we are not together when we walk to school :-)
I'm very much on the free range side of things. My children were playing outside alone at our home when then they were 2 and 4 years old.
I also respect (for the most part anyway) the right for parents to parent THEIR children THEIR way without a bunch of jerks sticking their Pinocchio-sized noses into other people's business. Not only that, I think anonymous reporting should be eliminated and people who call about such things as this should be prosecuted for abuse of the system.
I'm very much on the free range side of things. My children were playing outside alone at our home when then they were 2 and 4 years old.
I also respect (for the most part anyway) the right for parents to parent THEIR children THEIR way without a bunch of jerks sticking their Pinocchio-sized noses into other people's business. Not only that, I think anonymous reporting should be eliminated and people who call about such things as this should be prosecuted for abuse of the system.
I'm pretty sure I can out free-range most parents on here. For his 12th birthday, we gave our son a trip out of the country to ski with his best friend, no parents.
But, I would not like to see anonymous reporters prosecuted. If one child is saved from a devastating situation, it's worth it to me. I DO think CPS organizations should not be able to start files on parents when complaints have been determined to be unfounded. Sooner or later somebody will sue, and CPS will change their procedures. I look forward to that day.
I'm pretty sure I can out free-range most parents on here. For his 12th birthday, we gave our son a trip out of the country to ski with his best friend, no parents.
But, I would not like to see anonymous reporters prosecuted. If one child is saved from a devastating situation, it's worth it to me. I DO think CPS organizations should not be able to start files on parents when complaints have been determined to be unfounded. Sooner or later somebody will sue, and CPS will change their procedures. I look forward to that day.
To me, it's NOT worth it to have every single decision I make subject to second-guessing by nosy other people and the government acting as their arm. Freedom from that type of tyranny is just as important to me as the eradication and prevention of child abuse is. I'm not saying that all protections should be eliminated, but the pendulum has swung too far from one extreme (parents being free to abuse without the children being rescued) to the other (every single decision a parent makes being subjected to interference). Not only should CPS be held accountable, but so should people who use them as their means of interfering in other people's lives.
as kids,,,we wandered the neighborhood,,,always outside playing with the other kids,,
the mothers would come out around supper time and start hollering for their kids..
when my son was growing up I was daddy fun,,,lived on a lake had atv's , snowmobiles, boat
and went fishing and swimming and camping,,,,my sons group of friends were pretty close,,,so us parents got to know one another pretty good,,,,- between birthday parties and sleepovers
some of these mothers were a bit over-protective,,,,but they meant well,
and then there was Erica... the mother smother...was her nick name,,,she would leave a full page list on what her son brian, could or could not do...what he could and could not eat...
she was a genuine fruitloop.....so much that little brian was developing behavioral problems,,, withdrawn, stopped talking for 3 months..
he would light up going for a boat ride ... Erica wouldn't let him in the water at all,,or let him o an atv,,,or even ride a bike,, if we were at a park,,,she wouldn't let him play on the swing or slides..no cake no ice cream..
I felt sorry for brian....so I favored him...but as soon as his mother was around,,,he would sink back in his shell,,,and not say anything
Might have been someone calling out of spite because they didn't like the noise of the children playing, or they might have in a moment glimpsed something that concerned them (maybe one of the kid was hurt for a moment, or crying) and reported out of a genuine, although misguided, concern. I can understand why someone wouldn't want to talk to the parents first if it wasn't a neighbour who knew them but a passer-by. I think people should be able to report concerns even if they are ridiculous to us, but it would be better if child protection services could dismiss those ridiculous cases without making a case file but they have their rules to follow.
Myself, I would probably be considered very free range. My daughter has been playing out in the unfenced back garden and the communal garden out front since she was 3.5, and out on the street and in the park across the road since 4.5. Now she has a mobile phone I'll be letting her go down the end of the street to another park this summer.
I've had CPS called on me countless times by my ex and his parents because of custody disputes and although it was very upsetting at the time (as they made very serious accusations which necessitated thorough examination of my child in the hospital - traumatic for her and the police being involved) I couldn't fault the social workers - they were doing their job and they were very reassuring through-out as they could see it was just a case of an angry ex (the police were the same, they dismissed the case and told me it happens quite a lot, sadly). But I am glad to have them involved again now, several years later, as they are helping me and my child cope with her dad and the effect all that had on her. Oh and they are absolutely fine with my free-range parenting - one of our social workers even encouraged her to play out unsupervised after one of our weekly visits.
I'm pretty sure I can out free-range most parents on here. For his 12th birthday, we gave our son a trip out of the country to ski with his best friend, no parents.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie
But, I would not like to see anonymous reporters prosecuted. If one child is saved from a devastating situation, it's worth it to me. I DO think CPS organizations should not be able to start files on parents when complaints have been determined to be unfounded. Sooner or later somebody will sue, and CPS will change their procedures. I look forward to that day.
What? Am I misreading? If you are claiming you sent a 12 year old on a flight out of the country with no adults period I call BS. When my mother took my brother and I to vacation in Mexico back in the 80s soon after my father had died she had to provide a death certificate because my brother was under 18.
Editing to ask, you mean he flew with no adults? I sent my kid on a flight without an adult. Confused by the post.
My mum left my brother behind in Finland for 6 weeks when he was 11 to go to school and I was given the opportunity to stay too (I wussed out though, was only 9)
To me, it's NOT worth it to have every single decision I make subject to second-guessing by nosy other people and the government acting as their arm. Freedom from that type of tyranny is just as important to me as the eradication and prevention of child abuse is. I'm not saying that all protections should be eliminated, but the pendulum has swung too far from one extreme (parents being free to abuse without the children being rescued) to the other (every single decision a parent makes being subjected to interference). Not only should CPS be held accountable, but so should people who use them as their means of interfering in other people's lives.
So...you would rather many children be left in abusive homes then to have to potentially deal with CPS? Wow...not that I am surprised. But wow.
With our mobile society if you have not given your neighbor your number, there is almost no way for them to call you. It's not like you can look them up in the phone book, (Even if you knew there last name). Most people have gone Cell only now and are not listed.
Also LandLine phone companies to save money don't even make the "WhitePages" anymore.
They can't walk next door and knock on the door?
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and the police being involved) I couldn't fault the social workers - they were doing their job and they were very reassuring through-out as they could see it was just a case of an angry ex (the police were the same, they dismissed the case and told me it happens quite a lot, sadly). But I am glad to have them involved again now, several years later, as they are helping me and my child cope with her dad and the effect all that had on her. Oh and they are absolutely fine with my free-range parenting - one of our social workers even encouraged her to play out unsupervised after one of our weekly visits.
