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People who would put a new significant other before their own flesh and blood are mentally and morally bankrupt.
I have a radical view that if parents get divorced, they should not get romantically involved again until the kid(s) are 18 or the kids give their OK. The parents are the ones who screwed up and sucked at their relationship. The kids shouldn't have to deal with the instability of a parade of baby mamas and daddies in their life.
Kids don't have to be first before everyone else. That's how they grow up to be entitled brats. Kids' need should be pretty much equal to everyone else in the family.
Putting the kids first ahead of the couple is often why parents split up in the first place.
People who would put a new significant other before their own flesh and blood are mentally and morally bankrupt.
I have a radical view that if parents get divorced, they should not get romantically involved again until the kid(s) are 18 or the kids give their OK. The parents are the ones who screwed up and sucked at their relationship. The kids shouldn't have to deal with the instability of a parade of baby mamas and daddies in their life.
The finance is the kids father and I presume (possibly incorrectly) that he's been in the kids life since birth.
Well.............this new thread isn't exactly going the way you hoped, is it ??
I think you have deeper issues than just being a protective, concerned Mom. You post on an open forum, then when people tell you what you don't want to hear, you get snippy. Sorry, sometimes people have to tell you the truth, even if it hurts.
The thing that strikes me the most is that the kid is only THREE, and you are sweating schools already. As for the schools in Florida, I live in Florida and both of my Sons went to school here. Somehow, they got a good education, went on to college, and both make livings in excess of what I ever did. How can that be ?
Finally, your "fiance'" is 62 and has a 3 year old ??? Hate to tell you, but you better get a good job yourself, because the odds of this guy living to see his kid graduate are pretty slim..........and that is coming from a 70 year old. If he drops dead one day, you will have bigger problems to face than a good school system. So start being a "real woman" and take control of your future a little better.
No guy in his right mind should marry someone and become a step dad to her kids if she has an attitude like this.
Single moms who are hoping to find a great guy to be a part of their family, here is news for you. Pay attention to this. If you want to keep a good guy in your life, don't put your kids ahead of him. If you think you need to do that, just stay single and raise them yourself.
No guy who is emotionally healthy who has any other options in his life will stay with a woman who thinks her kid is the Jesus Baby and trumps everyone else's needs.
Yes, see my post #13.
And when a stepfather gets, "You're not his real father anyway," that relationship is essentially done. He might not leave the house, but that one line reveals a wedge that will not be removed until the mother takes her head off, shakes out the old garbage, and screws it back on correctly.
Well.............this new thread isn't exactly going the way you hoped, is it ??
Finally, your "fiance'" is 62 and has a 3 year old ??? Hate to tell you, but you better get a good job yourself, because the odds of this guy living to see his kid graduate are pretty slim..........and that is coming from a 70 year old. If he drops dead one day, you will have bigger problems to face than a good school system. So start being a "real woman" and take control of your future a little better.
Don
OP, I did not read your other thread but IMHO you need to start to be more realistic. Stop over to the Caregivers Forum if you to read how Real Women are forced to "step up". My husband .became permanently disabled due to dementia/brain damage at age 58. He is now 63 and needs 24/7 supervision and extensive care.
You can not just assume that your future husband is going to be healthy and strong enough to not need your care in the future. Or even be alive long enough so that you are married 10 years to collect his SS payments.
That is why as long as you are healthy you should be working to set up as large an emergency fund as you are able to do. Not only will your special needs child have many additional expenses but with a fiance who is already retirement age, HE may need care much sooner than you imagine.
Ralph Kirk, this is so true. My Sons have been in relationships with divorced Moms who had kids, and they were always odd man out. They would try to become part of the child's life, but Mom would always put up that old argument of "Stop telling MY child what to do." It is hard to feel like a "Dad" when you aren't blood and are not allowed to try to teach the child right from wrong.
Good. I was going to ask about this. You said on your other thread he was diagnosed with Sensory Seeking and Sensory Avoidance (two types of Sensory Processing Disorder) and also OCD. 3 is a little young for an OCD diagnosis, but it's not the first time I've heard that. The OT for the SPD and OCD sounds right, but I'm not sure why you need ST for those? Is there a speech delay?
I assume you are getting free services through the school system right now. Which are great. But if you already have one parent at home, I would echo the other posters' recommendation to seek employment yourself to get extra money you can use for extra private therapy. I have found that my son does much better when he gets additional private therapy in addition to free services. You are in a great position to be able to do this since you have a spouse at home. You could also look into private schools that deal with special needs, you could even look in Florida, to make your fiancé happy.
If I were trying to put my child first, that's what I would do. I would get a job to pay for private therapy and private school, and then I would try and move to Florida to make the stay at home parent happy and comfortable, because a happy dad makes for a happy kid. That's what putting your child first looks like.
All of this.
OP, we stayed in area I'm not crazy about because of my older son's special ed services (at one point it was 35 hours/week), so I get why you'd be hesitant to interrupt that and potentially be wait-listed elsewhere. But let's get serious: if that were your top priority for staying in IN, you would have said it right from the get-go, and gotten a whole different reception. I also agree with other posters that, whether you stay or go, now is the time to get established in a career because once he ages out of the preschool special ed system, he might need more therapy than the school will provide. And it's not cheap.
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Hate to tell you, but you better get a good job yourself, because the odds of this guy living to see his kid graduate are pretty slim..........and that is coming from a 70 year old. If he drops dead one day, you will have bigger problems to face than a good school system. So start being a "real woman" and take control of your future a little better.
