Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There are so many different points of view on this. I went to my first when I was 15 and have never gone to another. It just made me feel awful and I've always been sorry that the funeral and that awful feeling is part of my memories associated with an Aunt who I loved so much.
As far as children go, I think death of pets is a good way for them to learn about death. We buried all of ours together with our kids from the time they were young.
My kids went to my great aunt's funeral when they were about 4 and 7. but They waited in the vestibule with...someone, I don't remember. It made people happy to meet them as they came and went, so it seemed like a good compromise at the time. A cousin went on at some length about how they needed to go view the body so they would have closure. I said No, they did Not.
I did not tell my three year old that our dog died when we lost her some months back. I told her she was gone and that we would miss her. She kept asking me when she was coming home. I wasn't sure what to do. Then my father died and he was very close to my daughter. I decided to tell her. I told her that grandpa was very old and that his body stopped working. He was gone and we wouldn't be seeing him any more. I let her know that I was upset because I love him so much and missed him. It took some time for her to digest this and she asked questions about death...like could it happen to her. I said no, that she was young, and that she wouldn't be old for too long a time to even count. Over the past month or so she has reiterated points in our conversation. Like when she sees a picture of him she'll say grandpa is gone. I also started saying that grandpa is with our dog and that we miss them both very much. I have even mentioned that they're in heaven...however we want to interpret that.
Anyhow, at the funeral I did not allow her to see his body. Fortunately, the casket was only open for a short time for private family viewing. She was able to be with the rest of the family through out the wake and mass services. A number of people were openly grieving and I let her know that we all missed grandpa and it made us sad. She seems ok with it all right now. It's difficult to know what she understands, but I think being as honest as I can be with her in an age appropriate way is working out.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
