teenage boy problem (teenager, parent, boys, activity)
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Sometimes the more accepting or encouraging you are of the weird things that kids want to do, the quicker they lose interest in them. I'd probably offer to buy a different color of eyeliner, or the waterproof kind, or some concealer to go with it...something to make him think that his parents think it's a cool idea, and then he'll get tired of it really quickly. I did that when my daughter wanted to wear 6" heels all the time...bought her a couple of pairs and encouraged her to wear them everywhere we went, then made sure we walked really far on the days when she was wearing them. She was over them in two weeks.
This is so true. I remember when I was about 13, I told my (really conservative) parents I was a Satan worshipper or something. They bought me the Satanic Bible and some Tarot cards and expressed friendly interest. I was completely over it in about a week. Lol.
I think everyone gave you good advice, no drugs, let him figure out his sexual orientation, etc.
What I DO have to say is that raising teens is no picnic. Some are easier than others. The difficult ones will make you want to pull your hair out and will turn whatever remaining hair you have gray! I raised two boys who are now handsome, fairly well adjusted men, but the teenage years were hellish at times. They test you to your limit and then some...
Hang in there! They (boys) do become more "human" once they hit their mid-twenties if you haven't buried them in the back forty before that lol.
When I hear young mothers complaining about the behavior of their pre-teen kids, I say: "oh, just you wait"!!
I can only answer about 'pansexual' majority the wannabe ' cool' kids consider themself that. They just think that didnt want to be just a girl or a boy. They wanted to be special than that! . My friend's 13 years old daugther is one of them. She is now shave her head and named herself a boy name. Let him explore he is only13.
I'll second this - from the perspective that at the age of 13 boys are turned on by ANYTHING! Now I think they might be a little more likely to admit it is all. It's all probably just a phase that will pass as he figures out who/what he's really all about. Concentrate on the drug stuff - that's the real problem.
The absolute LAST thing that you should do as a mother is to isolate him and to make him feel like he is a freak for thinking he is bi or wearing eye liner. When you send him to a councilor you are implying that something is wrong with him because of his sexuality, and that can hurt a kids feelings....and it might even make him rebel even more. You should talk with him about his sexuality when the time is right, and truly try to understand what he is/what he is going through before you start labeling him. Show him your support rather than your disappointment.
The drug stuff is not okay whatsoever, but please don't send him to counseling due to his sexuality, that will only make matters worse.
It seems like OP needs therapy more than the son. Freaking out about eyeliner, naked pictures, and sexuality? Wut? Punish him for the tobacco and try to move on with your life. If you can't, speak to a therapist about your issues.
It seems like OP needs therapy more than the son. Freaking out about eyeliner, naked pictures, and sexuality? Wut? Punish him for the tobacco and try to move on with your life. If you can't, speak to a therapist about your issues.
The drug use could be the result of grappling with sexuality. The issues may need to be addressed simultaneously. One of my brothers is gay. He experimented with drugs in high school before he came out to family and friends. It was his escape from the stress he was feeling. I'm not saying this is definitely the case with the OP, just that it's possible, and I don't think her concern about everything she's seeing is unwarranted.
There are several homophobes on this thread. Shocking...
Where? I think it's remarkably free of the usual unenlightened viewpoint.
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