Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The younger kids play pickup football. I see them all the time in my neighborhood. The basketball courts are usually filled with middle school and high school aged kids playing basketball, but they aren't basketball players. They're just kids hanging out at the park shooting hoops for fun. This is generally the crowd that smokes marijuana, and they can't do that at home while paying video games.
I do agree the real athletes are actually practicing and training instead of playing for fun in the neighborhood. They are way too busy. I think the difference between today and when we were growing up is they didn't have cub leagues when we were young. Kids did play more pickup ball back then before they were old enough to join the school's junior and varsity teams. Now they're already involved in sports and activities in elementary school.
Like you described, the older kids are now doing multiple sports in different seasons. Back when we were growing up, kids generally had one sport so they had time to play pickup games in the off season. That said, my son's lacrosse team had pickup games in the off-season even when they played other sports. They still do it today because it's the alumni pickup games and all current players are welcome to join the alumni at anytime. Since they are excited to play with adult lacrosse players, they try to make time to play the pickup games once a week in the off season.
I agree with the OP that this is nuts. It's not the hours, the transportation, or the age of the child. It's the fact that this whole sports thing requires the entire family schedule to revolve around the athletic ambitions of the school, the team, the coaches, and other parents.
All to what end? Those who speak of these children as being "athletic" should ask themselves, do all children need to be "athletic"? What if a child is bookish, or likes music better? The replies I'm reading give the impression that this type of activity is expected, almost required, for a youngster to grow up to be a normal person. Being "skilled" in handling a ball is just one thing that a child can learn.
I fear that these children are just pawns in a system that encourages over-zealous, competitive parents to push for athletic prowess. Young bodies are not designed to handle repetitive-motion sports, and I know of several children who have been injured to the extent that their injuries followed them into adulthood. All for what? A college athletic scholarship? The parents' bragging rights?
Parents should allow their children to develop naturally without being pressured to participate in organized athletics. Ask yourself, who is benefitting (financially, especially) from this activity? I will admit that children do need exercise, and some instruction - such as summer swimming - would be beneficial, if the child wishes to do that. But that is quite different than being on a swimming team!
My car was always filled with other children. I've never encountered or heard of parents not wanting their children to carpool with other parents. This wasn't a problem even with teams that included multiple communities because we got to know the families via children becoming friends and going to each other's houses. Maybe it's a regional thing.
I've been in carpools that worked well and carpools that were awful. It depends on so many factors. If you live close to the practice facility, it's sometimes easier just to drive your own kids all the time. If it's farther away, not so much, and you have to carpool.
We just ensured that any youth sports teams in which our children participated as elementary & middle schoolers practiced in our neighborhood, so they could walk or ride their bikes. Not possible for many folks, I'm sure, but it helped us maintain our sanity.
I agree with the OP that this is nuts. It's not the hours, the transportation, or the age of the child. It's the fact that this whole sports thing requires the entire family schedule to revolve around the athletic ambitions of the school, the team, the coaches, and other parents.
All to what end? Those who speak of these children as being "athletic" should ask themselves, do all children need to be "athletic"? What if a child is bookish, or likes music better? The replies I'm reading give the impression that this type of activity is expected, almost required, for a youngster to grow up to be a normal person. Being "skilled" in handling a ball is just one thing that a child can learn.
I fear that these children are just pawns in a system that encourages over-zealous, competitive parents to push for athletic prowess. Young bodies are not designed to handle repetitive-motion sports, and I know of several children who have been injured to the extent that their injuries followed them into adulthood. All for what? A college athletic scholarship? The parents' bragging rights?
Parents should allow their children to develop naturally without being pressured to participate in organized athletics. Ask yourself, who is benefitting (financially, especially) from this activity? I will admit that children do need exercise, and some instruction - such as summer swimming - would be beneficial, if the child wishes to do that. But that is quite different than being on a swimming team!
I agree with some of the points you are making. Many parents do push their children too hard in sports. Many parents are naive about athletic scholarships. Your return would be much higher investing in academic tutoring rather then spending money on sports. My in-laws were spending $10,000/year for their son to play hockey and he had no potential to play after high school.
But there is another perspective that you are not taking into consideration. Involvement in sports gives many kids a sense of belonging and purpose. My three kids have graduated from college and their best friends are friends they made through sports. My daughter who played college basketball got her first teaching job because of playing basketball. They are mid to late 20s and are not overweight and in excellent health; in fact, my daughters are in top physical condition as both are distance runners and lift weights.
If kids are not occupied with activities like sports, what will occupy their time? We have watched kids grow up who were once on elementary school teams with my kids. While many have excelled in school and gone on to college and jobs, some have been arrested, dropped out of high school or college, and had babies in high school.
There is no guarantee that anyone will be successful as a parent. It takes some luck to dodge all the bullets along the way. When my wife and I look around at fellow parents over the past 28 years, we see some common characteristics regarding how likely children were to stay out of trouble, stay healthy, and graduate from college and get a job. We have had the opportunity to watch 12 nieces and nephews, the children of numerous cousins, fellow church members, and the countless children who played on baseball, softball, soccer, basketball, track, cross country and tennis teams over these past 28 years. You get to know people when you are sitting in the bleachers at baseball or basketball games; but you really get to know them when you travel to out of state tournaments, stay in the same hotels and go out to eat together over many years. Some of the commonalities we have observed are:
* children were raised with both parents;
* parents took an active involvement starting with reading to the child at an early age;
* parents instilled a love of reading by having books, newspapers and magazines in the home;
* children were exposed to a variety of sports and were encouraged to perform to the best of their ability.
* children were encouraged to stay in shape through exercise and healthy eating as they grew older;
* children were encouraged to continue participating in at least one sport through high school;
* children were encouraged to be life long learners through discussions at home, encouragement to take more difficult courses in high school, and encouragement to further their education.
One thing that sports will do for your child is develop self confidence. Your child might be the worst one on his/her 2nd grade soccer or baseball team but they are gaining experience. My son went through an entire baseball season without getting a hit. He would hope that he got hit by a pitch so he wouldn't strike out. It takes some courage to go up to bat game after game without any success. But dealing with adversity was an invaluable experience that has helped him later in life. It also gave him self confidence in physical education classes where students who have not had sports experience dread going to this class. Try to imagine a boy who has never swung a baseball bat in a coed middle or high school physical education class playing softball with girls who have played for for 5 or 10 years. This can be humiliating for the boy as he has to be shown where to stand at the plate and then swings wildly at the ball.
Last edited by villageidiot1; 07-15-2014 at 10:45 AM..
We just ensured that any youth sports teams in which our children participated as elementary & middle schoolers practiced in our neighborhood, so they could walk or ride their bikes. Not possible for many folks, I'm sure, but it helped us maintain our sanity.
ime that has not been possible. often practice fields are in limited supply and you have no idea where it will be until the week before the season starts. at that point, you've already paid and been placed on a team. the only option would be to quit and lose your money.
ime that has not been possible. often practice fields are in limited supply and you have no idea where it will be until the week before the season starts. at that point, you've already paid and been placed on a team. the only option would be to quit and lose your money.
Neighborhood swim team. Nobody moves the pool or assigns your athlete to practice in a different one across town. One of the many reasons I favored swimming over field sports for my kids when they were young. Another "sport" my kids participated in at that age was jump rope. Elementary P.E. teacher ran a team that practiced for 45 minutes 2x/wk. after school in the gym. All kids were welcome to participate. On another afternoon, a martial arts teacher offered a class that also met right after dismissal. Kids walked home. No carpool necessary.
That being said, I agree that soccer, flag football, basketball, etc., are all vulnerable to sometimes nonsensical rec league field logistics. Just wanted to point out that there might be other activities available to the OP's child that would be more in line with her schedule.
Last edited by randomparent; 07-15-2014 at 11:30 AM..
Last year DS was in kindergarten and we had a rude awakening to the way organized sports are run in our new suburban idyll. It turns out that if you want your kid to play a sport at the age of FIVE you are committing to TWO hour-long weekly practices and one game a weekend that can be up to an hour away that starts at 8:30am.
What you are describing sounds more like a travel team instead of a rec team. In my town, for rec team, there is one practice and one a game a week, and the venue is in town. Travel team starts at 2nd/3rd grade, depending on the age.
I didn't push my daughter to sports. She started playing rec soccer in Kindergarten and has loved it since. She is the one who wanted to do travel soccer and made the team starting this Fall.
Yeah it seems a little early for 3 a week organized actitiy. Most of ours are once a week at that age, progress to 2 or 3 by 7-8.
We lived a little farther from the action and with our first child we didn't realize how much you had to seek out the opportuntiesk, so he didn't start soccer until he was 8. By then he was behind, and still is. Now, would he have been any more in the mix starting at 3? I don't know, maybe he would have figure out sooner the game wasn't his game. Unfortunately, it's a slippery slope, one sport goes to a longer season the others seems to feel the need to follow, one team tries to get an edge ("proved greater opportunity") by going from 2 a week to 3 a week so they all have to follow suit Seems like only the laws of physics will sort it out.
BTW, We'll do 2 a season when it's necessary. You learn to do life on the run.
So you need to decide the balance between opportunity and too much in the schedule, but in all fairness, to the OP - it seems like you're grasping at reasons - emmotionally able? I think he'll cope - full dy school vs naps a year ago? Every kid'd different, but aren't they really ready for that anyway? If your kid needs more sleep you get them in bed earlier not stay out of a sport - not tryng to throw stones, just asking that you look into yourself and be sure the concerns you are raising as concerns for your child aren't really concerns about yourself.
We were really laid back about sports with our kids when they were little. One of our kids did t-ball, then little league, and that's it. Our friends were running all over town and state with their kids for team sports, but we opted out of all that.
My kids are now both in high school and very active doing year round sports. My son still plays baseball and has added soccer, cross country and swimming to his list - all varsity. He would like to swim in college. Our daughter, who didn't do anything athletic until the 8th grade (and will now be a senior) is a triathlete and also swims, runs and plays soccer for her varsity high school teams.
I find it interesting that they are on the same level as the kids who started really young. One of the advantages we found with holding out until later was they haven't burned out. They have a very healthy approach to fitness and while they practice with their teams they also do a lot of running and swimming on their own time.
OP - don't sweat it if you think it's all too much. Chances are it won't hurt him a bit.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
