Imaginative 1st grader having social issues

[germaine2626]

Originally Posted by CraigCreek

Rather than using the term "not real", how about using "imaginary", to help sort out the difference between fiction and non-fiction (other good terms)? You don't want to have him thinking that creative writing is "lies" or "fake", and that other writing is "real", as a child once told me about a well-known series of children's books. "Make-believe", or "made-up" might be other good options.

Children often see things in black and white terms, and this is just such an example. However, your son sounds like a delightful child: bright, creative, and very imaginative, so helping him understand that fiction, fantasy, folklore, and some forms of creative non-fiction that are products of someone's imagination aren't "lies" because they are not literally true should be fairly easy. They are still very "real", in many ways that count.

You don't want to brush off the stardust too early or too abruptly...

BTW, in my local school district they start using the terms fiction and non-fiction to describe children's books and literature in the 4 year old kindergarten class. It is a measurable objective/goal to know the basic difference in 5 year old kindergarten. You may want to check with your local school district to see what are their preferred terms. If they don't have anyone available to answer that question during the summer it might be listed on last year's report card (unlikely but possible) or you can ask a librarian in the local public library.

[thursdaymcgee]

I was like your child all throughout school, and not autistic or (I don't think) qualified for Gifted programs. I just preferred to read, to imagine, and to play pretend rather than do anything in the real world. =) So he very well may be perfectly average in those respects, and not have learning differences, etc. Just as a side note. I found my kindred spirits in acting and writing programs, even as a kid (fairy tale and storytelling programs at the library, etc.), where I could hang out with other kids who would rather live with unicorns.

As a minor note regarding whether or not the elves are real: my almost 4-year old (naturally) also has an active imagination, and what we've found that works quite well for encouraging the distinction between fantasy and reality without shaming is to play along, but to the point where it's clearly fake: "There are elves in that tree? Awesome! What are they doing? And now they're flying! I didn't know elves could fly! See them? That one's wearing a blue hat!" You can see him process the switch from "it could be real" to "oh, it's clearly not there," and he usually takes a pause at that point, but then he jumps right back in and flies with them, etc. We do it a lot for monsters under the bed, where we chase them out of the room or tell them they're not allowed in our house. If he ever calls us on it and says "they're not standing right there; they're under the bed!" we just respond calmly, "we're pretending they're standing right there. I thought we were all playing pretend?Because there really is no such thing as monsters. See? Nothing under there. But we can pretend if you want."

[tribechamy]

Love these ideas. Using words like imaginary, fiction - great ways to make the distinction without feelings getting hurt.

thursdaymcgee - brilliant idea, will have to try that!

Thank you for all of the advice on how to practice stepping back and forth over the line between real and make-believe