Know-it-all Child (not mine) - What Can I Do?

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by mej1

He's telling me how to fix the computer even though he has no idea what he's talking about it. I find it annoying.Then he keeps asking me questions about what I'm doing and what things are. It's great that he's asking questions to learn something, but he is too young, irresponsible, untrustworthy, and immature to be given the actual answers to what he's asking. So I'm not sure how to respond to him.

I would answer his questions honestly. You are underestimating the capabilities of an 11 year old. My children were very competent at that age and could fix many things I couldn't. Sure, your nephew can't because nobody answers his questions.

Originally Posted by mej1

So, I'm not sure what I should be doing. No matter what I say to him, he just doesn't listen to me. I'll also go ahead and mention that he is bossy, becoming manipulative, and bordering on becoming a bully to get his way. (Oddly enough, he has been bullied at school for the last two years.) He doesn't even listen to other adults who tell him no or to stop. He didn't listen to adults when he was 5 and he's still not listening. If a person persists in telling him no or to stop, he gets upset, whines about how "I was just trying to help", then stomps off sulking. Some adults, like his grandmother, end up apologizing to him for upsetting him. :rolls eyes: So, if I follow what the article says, should I just say, "that's interesting" and ignore this child when he starts giving me "advice"? I'm really at a loss as to what to do and I know there are other people who feel this way, including some of his teachers.

He needs to help building confidence to feel valued. He needs recognition for an accomplishment or responsibility. Someone should help him find his special talent to direct his energies or create ways for him to feel self worth. At the very least, give him responsibilities at the house and praise him for a job well done.

His being bullied for two years is very relevant. He has zero self esteem. Without being guided, he feels lost and like he doesn't fit in anywhere. His peers are shunning him and adults are too. The advice to ignore him, tell him to go away, etc., will only solidify his isolation and cause him to continue to act out for attention. Give him positive attention in appropriate situations. Create the situations if necessary.

Someone needs to take this kid under their wing. If it can't be you or a relative, maybe try Big Brothers or a martial art, which is a great confidence builder and teaches personal responsibility. I'm not saying to coddle him and put up with his know-it-all manipulative personality. I'm saying someone needs to figure out how to help this child find his way. He's about to hit puberty very soon. All hell is going to break loose if nobody steps in to give him guidance.

By all hell, I don't just mean his raging at home, but also getting involved with the wrong crowd. The teenage drug users are the most accepting clique. They are very tolerant of quirky personalities. If someone doesn't help him find a place to fit in, he'll end up going where he feels the most accepted.

He needs clear boundaries of what is acceptable behavior and consistent consequences, but he also needs provided avenues to find an area where he shines so he can experience success with responsibilities and establish confidence to be to help him establish his identity.