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My kids started making racist remarks at home about certain race. He's a good kid and the teacher loves him and also helps other kids who don't understand some math problems. But lately he's been telling me that specific race in his class always do bad things or interrupt the teacher and I tell him to be careful not to say those things because it is not right.
But his logic is telling him that he is associating certain race with bad behavior due to frequent patterns he sees.
How old is the kid? Perhaps finding example about how wrong generalizations can be helpful. If he likes any baseball player, maybe you can track his past performance and say, not everyone is the same at ALL times.
My kids started making racist remarks at home about certain race. He's a good kid and the teacher loves him and also helps other kids who don't understand some math problems. But lately he's been telling me that specific race in his class always do bad things or interrupt the teacher and I tell him to be careful not to say those things because it is not right.
But his logic is telling him that he is associating certain race with bad behavior due to frequent patterns he sees.
How do I explain to him properly.
Where is he getting the idea that behavior is based on skin color in the first place?
How old is the kid? Perhaps finding example about how wrong generalizations can be helpful. If he likes any baseball player, maybe you can track his past performance and say, not everyone is the same at ALL times.
He is 8 yrs old and doesn't like sports. Likes Minecraft. He is generalizing certain race because he says those types of kids always cause trouble in school and outside as well.
Is he exposed to kids of that race outside of school? Does he know any adults of that race that can be used as an example?
I have an 8-year-old, and she told me once that kids who spoke Spanish were mean. I asked if any kids who speak English were mean? She started listing off names. I said, "I guess that means you are mean too! Does this mean no one will want to be friends with you?" She was indignant. I pointed out that "Well, if all those English-speaking kids are mean, and you're an English speaking kid, then you must also be mean."
When she continued to protest I gently drew the connection to her own comments about the other group of kids, and she got the message.
That led to a nice discussion of things like parental involvement and socio-economic differences and even how much and what kind of tv watching is allowed in different households. All things that can impact how children behave. I think she had her eyes opened a little into how different everyone really is.
My daughter loves philosophical conversations, so it may have been a lot easier with her than other kids.
vision, it's very normal for your son to notice racial differences and even to attempt to categorize group behavior by race. It's very PC to say that kids are colorblind, but really it is something that they notice. It's good that he is saying these things to you because it provides you with the opportunity for dialogue and to help guide him in his understanding.
I would talk to him about different races and cultures. I'm not sure which race he is noticing and attempting to categorize but delving into history regarding any race certainly can't hurt. Be open. Ask him questions, see what questions he has for you. Talk about racial inequities. Make it an ongoing discussion. Help him see other attributes in the group that he is trying to lump together and talk about how they are not all the same and find commonalities between these characteristics and himself. Just be open and don't be afraid that you might say "the wrong thing".
If that is his only exposure to this "certain race" I can see how he can form such a generalized opinion. Really is no different than adults who jump to the same conclusions. Happen far too often when the only things one may know about certain races and cultures come from the depictions the media choose to create.
Not only are you going to have to keep up the dialogue but it's also up to you to expose him to positive examples of these races and cultures, its the only way he will break out of categorizing a group of people based on his limited interactions.
If that is his only exposure to this "certain race" I can see how he can form such a generalized opinion. Really is no different than adults who jump to the same conclusions. Happen far too often when the only things one may know about certain races and cultures come from the depictions the media choose to create.
I kind of see where you are coming from. Forget about the race, we often hear comments like, "women are bad drivers". They generalize the whole gender.
My Vietnamese daughter told me she is tired of other kids telling her she is smart in school because she is Asian and "all Asians are smart". I tried to explain to her that many Asian families as a culture put an emphasis on doing well in school so that when they excell it is easy to extrapolate that "All Asians are smart". She says it puts an unfair pressure on her when others say that.
I explained that some races get just the opposite kind of remark. If a Hispanic kid get in trouble some will say all Hispanic kids will eventually get in trouble. I also told her about some communities that have Asian gangs and how some will say All Asians belong to mean gangs.
"If a kid of a certain race shows up in dirty clothes and worn shoes do the other kids say "All .......kids are dirty and poor"? Apparently not so much. We have talks about not putting everybody in a certain group and how it is unfair to make generalizations.
Her Dad is bald and grumpy when he is tired. "Do we say all bald men are grumpy when they are tired"? No... some men with lots of hair get grumpy when tired. And some bald men never get grumpy.
We had fun with all sorts of generalizations like our white dogs like to bark at the garbage truck...does that mean only all white dogs bark at trucks? Play a game with your child to see how silly it can be.
BTW she won a slushy at school yesterday for having the highest score on a math test. She told me she would "have a hissy fit if one kid comes up to me and says I got the highest score cause I am Asian". thank god nobody was stupid enough to say it but I'm sure some were thinking it.
My best explanation for him is that certain people are not as fortunate as he is. I tell that people will judge you based on skin color too but it is best that you don't say or tell other people about their color but only point out their names.
In public my wife and I tries to educate our kids what nationality of the kids or people they see or play with just so they know.
The toughest part is how to explain what "racism" is about. I think my kids have experienced racism indirectly I just tell them to do their best to respect others and then they would respect you.
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