10 year old and sex (punishment, teaching, pregnancy, parent)
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I'm wondering how it is any different than kids looking at Hustler and Playboy.
Here is how it is different.
When I was 12, my friend found a Playboy in her brother's room and, of course, showed it to me at a sleepover. I saw lots of lady body parts and a few bawdy cartoons. That was it until maybe the next year when another friend recommended the Judy Blume book Forever to me.
When my oldest son was 11, he Googled a slang word for vagina.
The FIRST PAGE of results had all porn sites, and one had a 45-second "free preview" video that showed snippets of every single sex act you could possibly think of with multiple people in that 45 seconds on a loop. He didn't have to sign up for anything. It was right there for his viewing pleasure.
It's totally different.
Also, the book is not supposed to be INSTEAD OF parental discussion.
Password protect the internet access and the computers. Disconnect the wii from the internet. The only computer that he should have access to is in the kitchen, when you're in there, where you can see the screen at all times, and only with you putting in the password for him. And password protect the cable TV access, too!
Tell him that it's very natural to be curious about sex at his age, and that it's not going to go away. Tell him that he can ask either of you anything that he wants, that if he hears his buddies saying stuff about sex, that they may not know what they're talking about, and that if they make claims that they've done stuff, they're probably lying.
It's normal for boys to start puberty as early as nine, average age is about 11 or 12. If he has grown up underarm odor, he's started puberty, and that means that testosterone is working on his brain already, and that he's beginning to have sexual thoughts, in addition to simple curiosity. If that's the case, it's time for Dad to have a conversation about sexuality, masturbation, nocturnal emissions, the whole shebang, with him, in addition to a discussion about respecting women and learning how to be a man, as opposed to just male.
Great post. My step dad's idea of intro to sex was keep it in your pants. Huh keep what in my pants. He was uncomfortable talking about it and I didn't much like him. My mom was too busy partying and spendin money.
Also, the book is not supposed to be INSTEAD OF parental discussion.
No kidding. Nothin says you care about a sensitive subject by pawning the telling of said subject off onto a book. Yeah, kid when I care to send the best. Here's a book. Look, it has pictures and everything. Just what growing NORMAL boys need.
Here's all you need for childrens internet access:
Firefox, AdBlockPro, Noscript, and the computer in the living room where everyone can see.
No kidding. Nothin says you care about a sensitive subject by pawning the telling of said subject off onto a book. Yeah, kid when I care to send the best. Here's a book. Look, it has pictures and everything. Just what growing NORMAL boys need.
Settle down. Nobody said "pawn it off onto a book."
This thread has been a bit of an eye opener for me. It's been 11 years since I had a 10 yr old, and computers at that time were not so inexpensive that every kid had access to their own. We had two desk tops, and they were both in the home office, so the likelihood of any of the boys surfing questionable sites was pretty minimal.
What our kids had access to in high school, is now accessible in elementary. I'm pretty open regarding sexual matters, but the idea of a 10 yr old searching out that stuff gives me pause. I didn't uncover a Playboy magazine until the end of middle school age, and, at that point, I left it where I found it.
Curiosity is absolutely normal, but an open dialogue will go a long way in putting things in perspective for a young boy.
It is normal to be curious, so make sure he knows that.
If he wants no part of a book, can you find age-appropriate websites that will help him to find the information that he needs? Explain to him that the internet is full of false information and dangerous websites and people, but there are some sites that he is welcome to explore. I don't know what exists, but I am sure you can find recommendations from some parenting sites or organizations or your pediatrician.
....Tell him that it's very natural to be curious about sex at his age, and that it's not going to go away. Tell him that he can ask either of you anything that he wants,...
Yes, PLEASE. My parents told me nothing, and my mother reacted to anything remotely nearing the topic of sex as, "Durdie!!! durdie!!!"
Quote:
that if he hears his buddies saying stuff about sex, that they may not know what they're talking about, and that if they make claims that they've done stuff, they're probably lying.
Don't count on it. As a result of no parental sex education, I got mine from slightly older kids between the end of sixth grade and the beginning of Jr. H.S. I learned to masturbate and was quickly introduced to penetrative sex by sexually precocious girl in my class. All before thirteen.
Quote:
It's normal for boys to start puberty as early as nine, average age is about 11 or 12. If he has grown up underarm odor, he's started puberty, and that means that testosterone is working on his brain already...
I needed to start shaving about a year after I was introduced to sex
Boys are gonna be curious, in addition kids today download/ stream movies and music and there are popups and different things that come automatically from those sites even if they aren't actively searching sex terms
Boys are gonna be curious, in addition kids today download/ stream movies and music and there are popups and different things that come automatically from those sites even if they aren't actively searching sex terms
thats the reality now... it sucks
They also know ways to get around blocked sites. My daughter told me that the kids at school get around the blocks by using resources such as google uk or duck,duck,go. Kids are very innovative.
Last edited by Jaded; 02-04-2014 at 01:02 PM..
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