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I'm due for my DD in February, and my ds turns 3 on the 14th of December....but DS has toddler behavior issues and I don't know how I will cope with them when the baby arrives. I already fear we have a toddler-run household. How would I take back the control? Sorry I am very emotional right now...
Last edited by Gatormomma; 11-23-2013 at 09:10 PM..
Congratulations!!
Are you a single mother? If so I do feel bad for you and I hope you can get some support from family or friends. Im due on Christmas and my son is 7. It used to be all about him but we have had allot of talks and he is ready to help and be a big brother. What kind of behavior issues does your daughter have? Is it because you are expecting a new baby?
Congratulations!!
Are you a single mother? If so I do feel bad for you and I hope you can get some support from family or friends. Im due on Christmas and my son is 7. It used to be all about him but we have had allot of talks and he is ready to help and be a big brother. What kind of behavior issues does your daughter have? Is it because you are expecting a new baby?
I am not a single mother, we are still married... But my 3 year old has just so many meltdowns...I know toddlers meltdown a lot, but even my and his parents think that our toddler is a brat, even I overhead the daycare staff gossiping about my baby toddler boy! I don't want a toddler run household....
I am not a single mother, we are still married... But my 3 year old has just so many meltdowns...I know toddlers meltdown a lot, but even my and his parents think that our toddler is a brat, even I overhead the daycare staff gossiping about my baby toddler boy! I don't want a toddler run household....
You may need some help to learn how to help your child and/or your child may need to be evaluated for special needs.
How is his speech? Is he frustrated because others cannot understand him. At 3, most children are about 75% understood by strangers and 80 to 90% understood by his parents.
How do you discipline? Are you consistent? Do you find yourself saying no and/or yelling a lot? If so, you probably need to change what you are doing. For a 3 year old, make sure you have his attention before you tell him to do something (or to stop doing something). Phrase things positively. Use your walking feet instead of don't run. Feet on the floor instead of stop jumping on the couch. Use your inside voice instead of stop yelling. Tell him what he can do rather than what he cannot do. We can yell outside at the park. We can run outside. You can jump on these pillows.
What does he do that seems different from other 3 year old boys?
I am not a single mother, we are still married... But my 3 year old has just so many meltdowns...I know toddlers meltdown a lot, but even my and his parents think that our toddler is a brat, even I overhead the daycare staff gossiping about my baby toddler boy! I don't want a toddler run household....
Are you getting your toddler outdoors enough? I've noticed that when kids are bratty if they're indoors, there is nothing like getting them outdoors, climbing trees, riding bicycles, going for a good long hike or even a good wagon ride --- good physical activity will almost always cure it, or physical activity and a good nap. Take a 3 year old for a good long walk through the neighborhood -- at least a mile and almost always when they get back home they're calm and sweet.
Does your little boy know that the baby is on the way? Your local library children's department will have books about new babies and being an older sibling. Once the baby is here, be sure to get him a baby doll - yes, little boys need dolls, too. He can join you in rocking his baby, changing and feeding, and so on. Very grown-up, responsible behavior.
Meanwhile - keep a diary for a day or two and see what triggers his meltdowns. Do they happen during transitions? Before meals? Near naptime or bedtime? If you see a pattern, make a (flexible) schedule that he will understand - use posterboard and drawings or cut-outs if you can't draw - to document the day's activities. Have him help you - "What happens after we get up in the morning? That's right, we eat breakfast! Let's put a picture of breakfast right here!" and so on. Then put it to use, using cute stickers or stars for successful, tear-and-tantrum-free success.
At this age, distraction can help considerably, if you catch an oncoming meltdown in time to divert his attention. Feel free to act a little silly with him at times - toddlers love it when their parents or other significant adults join in such fun - but pick your moment.
Sing with him and to him. Find children's songs about his activities of daily living and sing them at the appropriate times. Talent is not required, enthusiasm is. Nursery rhymes are very, very functional in this regard, and lend themselves to extravagant gestures, facial expressions, and general silliness that explains why they've been favorites with toddlers for centuries.
For transitions, be sure to give him a five-minute (or less) warning - "Johnny, it's almost time to go to the park, so let's put away your toys now. Do you want to go on the swings or slide first?", etc. Always emphasis the pleasurable aspects of the next activity, to help move him along happily: "It's time to go play in the tub! Do you want your toy boat or bath crayons tonight?", or, "Do you want to wear your red or blue shirt today?" Offer no more than two choices, be matter-of-fact. If he wants to wear the green shirt, tell him that's tomorrow's shirt, and follow through the next day.
Have a talk with his daycare-givers and see what their take is on his behavior, and how they're handling it. Does he get to play with other children outside of daycare? How long has he been in daycare? If this behavior is new, could there be a link with daycare?? How many children are in his daycare group? Do they mix with other groups on the playground or at other times? How many days and how many hours each day is he in daycare? Is there a rest or nap period there? Could he be short on sleep? Could food allergies be involved?
It might not be a bad idea for you to connect with a mental health professional. A therapist could always help you better manage your son's behavior and at the same time, provide you with emotional support during your second child's birth.
How much interaction does he have with other toddlers? That might help. He might enjoy things like play groups or activities. Gymnastics, karate, etc. Do you think he could sit through a mommy & me yoga? Don't take this the wrong way, but does he have friends? Maybe a dog will help out?
Is there a pattern that you've noticed? For example: before he knows he is going to get attention (meals, bath time, etc.).
I strongly believe that kids feed off of the energy surrounding them. Are you and your hubby really stressed out? That was kind of a stupid question, considering that you have a baby on the way.
Good luck!
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But my 3 year old has just so many meltdowns...I know toddlers meltdown a lot, but even my and his parents think that our toddler is a brat, even I overhead the daycare staff gossiping about my baby toddler boy! I don't want a toddler run household....