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It's tricky since that one seems to depend on the kid. Some kids act out for attention so when you ignore it instead of reacting to it, they stop and fairly quickly. Some kids act out because they enjoy it and will only stop if there's a consequence so ignoring it only reinforces it and allows it to persist.
I'd hope the average parent learns how to tell which one of these situations they're in with their child but in the event that they're not sure, I'd say that if your child runs amuck for an hour, it might be a sign that ignoring it isn't helping lol And I definitely would view that parent as "doing nothing" rather than strategically not feeding into it. After a certain amount of time or a certain escalation in behavior, it borders on ridiculous if you don't at least make an attempt to curb it.
Yeah definitely you have to be aware when the tactic isn't working! Nothing works every single time (been one of the hardest things for me to learn this past year, about the inconsistencies of toddlers!)
Not if you stuff them in the car to finish their tantrum. What did you do, buy them an ice cream!"
When my daughter wants to get out of somewhere she just wants to be out of there, she doesn't care that she's not going somewhere more fun, she just wants to be out. Besides taking her out means taking her outside to walk home (I don't drive) and she loves walking outside so its as good as an ice cream for her!
When my daughter wants to get out of somewhere she just wants to be out of there, she doesn't care that she's not going somewhere more fun, she just wants to be out. Besides taking her out means taking her outside to walk home (I don't drive) and she loves walking outside so its as good as an ice cream for her!
I think I am going to start using toddler wailing in a store as a problem solving situation in my next candidate job interviews. There have to be a half a million ways to solve this problem without effectively telling your toddler that she has the right to interfere with everyone else' public situation by pitching a fit. HINT: The solutions start well before you leave for the store, and don't involve being taken by surprise when you get there.
This person has a great example for restaurant learning. But it is likely easily tweeked for store handling.
I think I am going to start using toddler wailing in a store as a problem solving situation in my next candidate job interviews. There have to be a half a million ways to solve this problem without effectively telling your toddler that she has the right to interfere with everyone else' public situation by pitching a fit. HINT: The solutions start well before you leave for the store, and don't involve being taken by surprise when you get there.
You've never been taken by surprise by a toddler? Thats a little unbelievable. Toddlers can go from happy as a clam to hell on earth in a matter of seconds and can be triggered by the oddest (and often completely uncontrollable) things - a stranger talks to my daughter and she freaks out, the trolley won't move the way she wants it to (gets stuck or something) and she gets upset and/or angry, even something just looks like its in the wrong place (according to her strange point of view) can trigger a fit. However since I started ignoring these tantrums they have become rarer and rarer and even though the triggers still occur she remembers that tantrumming won't do her any good so she just grumbles a little and then carries on.
Yesterday was more of a typical toddler tantrum (saw a toy she wanted and I said no) so she lay on the floor and refused to me, I just ignored her and started to move her trolley over to the till so I could pay and leave and she soon followed and behaved wonderfully well (helping put the food on the till and putting the trolley away nicely)
Frankly, I don't think a person should have to "deal" with noise pollution. An article I read some years ago in Consumer Reports pretty much stated what I believe, and am stating here: noise pollution isn't taken seriously enough, it's brushed off as if it's no big deal & something people should just "get over."
Bullfeathers.
If you are talking about normal, ambient, uncontrollable noise, okay. However, a lot of noise is entirely avoidable & altogether unnecessary, and controllable, and (in the case of noisy kids) also a by-product of rudeness, immaturity and all-around bratty behavior.
Yes it can be a pain to modify behavior every other minute for someone who freaks out over every noise, but overall I think people ought to be respectful of noise considerations. If you have a neighbor who hates barking dogs, make your stinking yappy mutt shut the ever-loving heck up. If you live in the boonies & like target-practicing with your weapons but your neighbor has post-traumatic stress disorder & every pop they hear gives them war flashbacks, show some consideration.
On the other hand, people who complain about the noise of kids playing outside in their own yard--I do agree with the "deal with it" stance, because children sure as heck ought to be able to play outside at their own stinking home in their own stinking yard, and children surely have way more rights to play outside noise notwithstanding than dogs do to bark etc.
But in the restaurant, there are LOTS of people who go there to eat out in a nice peaceful atmosphere & don't appreciate it being spoiled by noise pollution. "Deal with it" my foot. It's more like "nip it in the bud," else someone (like the restaurant management) is going to nip YOU (like the Applebee's booting the one family a couple of weeks ago), and to that I say "good."
LRH
My child is fine in restaurants. Many children are fine in restaurants. No I don't think being disruptive is acceptable.
But to the person I was responding to, who's entire post consisted of the pearl of wisdom that babies and toddlers should be left at home - I still say deal with it. How ridiculous that you should expect the entire universe to revolve around you. If you're that sensitive that you don't want any babies out in public then you've got issues.
It's just as ridiculous as people that refuse to address the behavior of their children and are completely clueless about disturbing others.
Children are the ultimate narcissists no matter who they are or who they belong to especially at very young ages. When we took ours out to eat, it was to a fast food joint where they have a playground to burn off energy. We rarely took them to any other type of restaurant especially to an upscale restaurant. Having traveled a lot abroad, my experience tells me that American children are the worst in just about any category. It is almost like we promote bad behavior or even protect it. Children are the best reason to live in an adult only community. Why anyone would take their child to a wedding or a funeral is puzzling indeed. Perhaps narcissistic parents?
Children are the ultimate narcissists no matter who they are or who they belong to especially at very young ages. When we took ours out to eat, it was to a fast food joint where they have a playground to burn off energy. We rarely took them to any other type of restaurant especially to an upscale restaurant. Having traveled a lot abroad, my experience tells me that American children are the worst in just about any category. It is almost like we promote bad behavior or even protect it. Children are the best reason to live in an adult only community. Why anyone would take their child to a wedding or a funeral is puzzling indeed. Perhaps narcissistic parents?
Well in the case of the former, possibly because they've been invited? Some people like having kids at their weddings. And as for the latter, sometimes people like having small children at a funeral to lighten the mood a little (and some people don't like having them there at all, of course), there was a toddler and a preschooler at my grandma's funeral and it was lovely having them there.
You've never been taken by surprise by a toddler? Thats a little unbelievable. Toddlers can go from happy as a clam to hell on earth in a matter of seconds and can be triggered by the oddest (and often completely uncontrollable) things
Well not often. Bear in mind that people who manage an entire house full of toddlers all day would be reduced to rubble if this were the case. If a toddler was an explosive entity with completely unknown operating parameters, then these daycares would be chaos. But somehow they aren't.
People say every kid is different all the time. While they have their own personality and temperament, there is a lot of commonality as well. They are all humna beings with the same basic human needs. When they are behaving a certain way, they are often telling us what they need, if we have the outlook to hear it.
Quote:
- a stranger talks to my daughter and she freaks out, the trolley won't move the way she wants it to (gets stuck or something) and she gets upset and/or angry, even something just looks like its in the wrong place (according to her strange point of view) can trigger a fit. However since I started ignoring these tantrums they have become rarer and rarer and even though the triggers still occur she remembers that tantrumming won't do her any good so she just grumbles a little and then carries on.
Yesterday was more of a typical toddler tantrum (saw a toy she wanted and I said no) so she lay on the floor and refused to me, I just ignored her and started to move her trolley over to the till so I could pay and leave and she soon followed and behaved wonderfully well (helping put the food on the till and putting the trolley away nicely)
If it were me, which obviously it isn't, I would look into what areas of her life she can control.
Well not often. Bear in mind that people who manage an entire house full of toddlers all day would be reduced to rubble if this were the case. If a toddler was an explosive entity with completely unknown operating parameters, then these daycares would be chaos. But somehow they aren't.
People say every kid is different all the time. While they have their own personality and temperament, there is a lot of commonality as well. They are all humna beings with the same basic human needs. When they are behaving a certain way, they are often telling us what they need, if we have the outlook to hear it.
If it were me, which obviously it isn't, I would look into what areas of her life she can control.
I do let her have control over as much as is reasonable, I think its important for her to be able to make her own decisions but clearly its not enough right now, I think she'll do better when she gets a bit more independence from me (starting daycare).
Hmm maybe I just have a particularly unpredictable child or I'm just not as in-tune with her as I think I am. Her behaviour has improved a lot over the last few weeks so something is getting better (either her behaviour or my ability to predict/control her behaviour). Of course there are commonalities between all children, they develop in the same way (just at different paces) and there are common behavioural aspects.
Children are the ultimate narcissists no matter who they are or who they belong to especially at very young ages. When we took ours out to eat, it was to a fast food joint where they have a playground to burn off energy. We rarely took them to any other type of restaurant especially to an upscale restaurant. Having traveled a lot abroad, my experience tells me that American children are the worst in just about any category. It is almost like we promote bad behavior or even protect it. Children are the best reason to live in an adult only community. Why anyone would take their child to a wedding or a funeral is puzzling indeed. Perhaps narcissistic parents?
This ^^^
Narcissistic parents? YA THINK???
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