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My brother and I are 5 years apart and that seemed like a lot at the time as there is a big difference with little ones between those ages. Don't delude yourself into thinking having one even now would create some wonderful playmate.
I agree. I used to beg my mother for a sister, because it's just my older brother and me with a five and a half year age difference. We hated each other growing up, and I thought a sister would be better. Once I became a teenager, though, I was really glad I didn't have to share the bathroom with another girl lol. My brother and I started getting along better after he joined the Air Force and we lived on different continents for ten years.
It is also an unspoken assumption made by everyone in the family that when my parents need care, it will be my husband and I who provide it. My brother never factors into the discussion. So if you're thinking you should have a sibling for your stepson so he'll have help caring for you and his father later on, don't count on it.
From all the posts I've read of yours, I have yet to see any evidence that you care for anyone except yourself.
Please do not have a child.
Besides all the ranting & raving at her new neighbors, the physical violence, and the paranoia about people in the doctor's office getting a one-up on her, yeah, this is one angry woman that doesn't need another child.
I think most kids at some point ask for siblings. My son is 7 and everytime he goes to visit a friend that has siblings he always says "I wish I had a brother". He thinks it all play all the time. I'd love to have another before he turns 10 but I'm thinking financially I love having one. We have season passes to theme parks, we go on cruises, we travel all over. Dunno if I could do that if I had to feed and clothe another person.
Either way I'm not gonna let him dictate what I decide to do. I couldn't imagine that even being an option
1) there is value in giving a first child a sibling. I won't get into the specifics of my family, but I think siblings are valuable. After you are gone, they still have each other.
2) Not wanting to deal with stretch marks and giving up wine are not good reasons to not have a baby. Then again, that statement says a lot about you and your mentality that make me think you should not have a baby.
3) If this is important to your SO, perhaps you should part ways so you can find people who are a better match.
4) how would you being sick cause you to have a disabled child?
5) no, of course you are not obligated to have a baby if you don't want one. See # 2.
ETA I had some issues with my first pregnancy, birth, postpartum depression, and the child himself. I wasn't aching to do it all over again, but I did because I wanted him to have a sibling.
i think the besst reason to have a second child is because you want one, not to give your child a sibling . There are no guarantees in life, a friend of mine had a sibling and he was killed in a car crash and now he is "alone". So no i disagree with the reason of "to give my kid a sibling", that is silly.
I have one child. That's plenty. We can afford to give her things like a college degree without debt, which we likely could not do if we had to provide for another one. We felt our family was complete as a trio. Put me in the group that has very little contact with my only sibling once we went our separate ways in early adulthood.
If *you* don't feel that a child is what you want, do not have one. Double up on birth control and consider breaking up with the SO if he continues to harp on having a child with you. In my opinion, the stepson doesn't get a vote.
How do I private message you? I have only one child and sometimes feel guilty she does not have a sibling, do you ever feel this way? I need someone to talk to! Thanks!
i think the besst reason to have a second child is because you want one, not to give your child a sibling . There are no guarantees in life, a friend of mine had a sibling and he was killed in a car crash and now he is "alone". So no i disagree with the reason of "to give my kid a sibling", that is silly.
I always wanted 2, no more, no less. It is as good a reason as any.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caa
How do I private message you? I have only one child and sometimes feel guilty she does not have a sibling, do you ever feel this way? I need someone to talk to! Thanks!
The OP isn't very well put, but I've been thinking about the same thing, too. Given my age I need to either have one now or never. Now being the next 6 months. My daughter is 4 months old. I always thought I just wanted one. One little person I could devote everything to. I've been cons,idering a second lately. I think that's party due to the Oxycontin rushes I've been experiencing as well as wanting a sibling for my daughter. It's a tough decision. Time, energy, and finances are my main concerns. Stretch marks don't come into it, although I didn't get any with my pregnancy and breastfeeding caused me to lose a good amount of weight. Anyhow, a colleague told me to only have another for me, not for her. He says this because his two daughters are violent with each other. My mom and her sister don't speak and my late brother caused great heart brake. I can see the merit in only having one. Meh. It's a hard decision.
Mmmmmm.... Very similar to my former situation re age/thoughts. I did want to have kids-siblings, and at least 2 kids per se. As a result, 2 kids 1.5 years apart. Now that we are half-way through growing up (8.5 and 10), I can see both pluses and minuses. Pluses - they've obviously had each other for as long as they can remember. Oftentimes it's been a great help to me personally as they'd get busy on their own. Another plus - out with all the cribs-diapers once and for all. Going to the same age happenigs (classes theaters camps amusement parks) - no need to accommodate two different sets of interests.
One huge minus - I do perceive that the oldest (and really both of them) got less quality of mine one-on-one time. When I see a clearly only girl with her mom, so scrabbed and clean, discussing a book with her mom in a library, I feel a twinge in my heart. I guess I was busier managing their unit as a whole (2 toddlers plus whatever else I had to carry, yeshhhh).Mine are basically 2 Tom-Sawyers, if you get my drift. Quicker to think on their feet, more comfortable in a hubble-bubble. I basically wanted this, so I got it. Do I regret on a whole? No. Plus all those future pluses.
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This.
