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Kids these days have a lot of activities they can do. Music class. Sports program. Fundraisers. Book drives. Spelling bees. Nature programs. etc, etc, etc. And then there are leisure activities.
How do you go about deciding which ones are the best for your kids and the ones to encourage your kids to be interested in?
So far, we've chosen the ones that we as parents are most interested in (as well as being ones that our kid is interested in). But there are a lot of things out there, more than what our kids can partake in, and we'll have to figure out how to pick and choose.
Our current rule is a maximum of two ongoing activities at any time that require parent participation (which includes transportation). One-off events or shorter-term classes are case-by-case depending on what else is going on at the moment.
As far as which activities, that's about 95% up to the kiddo. She decides the what and we figure out the where and the how. (Cost constraints, time constraints, or her not seeming to be able to meet her school and household obligations will lead us to exercise veto power. She is a kid who seems to like a fair amount of downtime, too, so we guard her ability to have that.) If she starts any activity that has a commitment -- a season, a semester, a year -- she has to see the commitment through.
If she were a kid who seemed to have a really strong talent in some area or other we'd be willing to spend more time to foster that and might even consider pushing her to continue with that sort of activity if she were lukewarm. She's not, though, so I am not terribly concerned with what she chooses to do.
We expose her to other activities by going to concerts and museums and local events, and seeing friends' performances.
You didn't say the age of the child; I have a preschooler boy so while I'm the one choosing his activities, my priorities are health and an overall athletic foundation, because he's not particularly active on his own. For me, this means swimming, because it's a great healthy sport and essential safety skill as well; gymnastics, because it provides a good foundation for any sport; and later on, we'll try martial arts because it's great for self-confidence, strength, and discipline. If I had a girl I'd do swimming and gymnastics as well, and some type of dance. I hope these will give him a good base so that he feels confident and has the athletic skills for whatever sport he chooses later.
For non-sport activities, I'd wanna try piano just because he's loves pianos and seems to have a really great sense for music.
Right now we are doing Tae Kwon Do. We are doing it as a whole family activity (not just the kids). We have also had the kids in swimming, but it's really hard to do them at the same time for very long so we end up doing a 6 week session of swimming and then taking a break for a while. Now my daughter wants to start taking piano too, so we are going to try to work that in because I feel like that is a really good thing to learn. But I can't see how we could do TKD and swimming and piano - it's just too much. I think swimming will get dropped.
The reason we like Tae Kwon Do is because it is a physical activity that builds self-confidence and body awareness without being very competitive in the way that team sports are. We also really like that it is an activity that our whole family does together.
I would like my kids to learn to swim for the safety aspect and because it is a life skill that I think they can enjoy forever. I'm not putting them on swim team or anything, I just want them to be able to swim without floaties.
I would love for my kids to learn some musical instrument. Music was important to me when I was in school, and I hope my kids will enjoy it too. Piano is a good foundational instrument because it is visually laid out, but I would be happy for them to play any instrument they choose as they get older.
Kids these days have a lot of activities they can do. Music class. Sports program. Fundraisers. Book drives. Spelling bees. Nature programs. etc, etc, etc. And then there are leisure activities.
How do you go about deciding which ones are the best for your kids and the ones to encourage your kids to be interested in?
So far, we've chosen the ones that we as parents are most interested in (as well as being ones that our kid is interested in). But there are a lot of things out there, more than what our kids can partake in, and we'll have to figure out how to pick and choose.
When they're younger you just expose them to as many different things as possible and see what they gravitate towards. With my son it was all sports all the time, in particular baseball, football and hockey. With my older daughter it was dance, gymnastics and soccer.
When they are real little is the time to sample a bunch of different things. We did not let my son play football (I played in college, but am not a fan of young kids playing) but I did try hockey (both ice and street) and baseball. He was good at hockey, but we really couldn't afford ice hockey. He enjoyed street hockey, but he really likes baseball. With our older daughter we tried a low commitment dance/gymanstics class and while she liked it she really didn't like the structure of it. We let her try soccer as well and she turned into a mini-Beckham and now her world is soccer, soccer, soccer.
That brings me to what is actually the harder question...
How much specialization are you willing to go with? My son and daughter are very good at their sports. My son is one of the top baseball players in his age group in our township. My daughter will be 5 this summer and is playing soccer on the U7 travel team, because playing in her age group isn't "fair to the other kids".
My son's year goes like this: spring baseball, summer tournaments/clinics, fall ball, winter workouts/clinics. He is literally playing baseball year round. Right now we have limited him to playing only in our recreational league and the towns all-star team. We have several travel teams that have invited him to try-out. These days baseball is 3-4 days a week in season (spring/fall) and 1-2 off-season (winter). The summer is half in and half off right now, but will basically become in-season in the next couple years. If he joined travel it would mean 6-7 days a week in season and 3-4 off-season, plus travel to out-of-state tournaments. My son is 8 and will be 9 this fall. There is literally no time for other activities. I would love for him to try other sports. We could miss a fall or winter to try something, but he would fall behind some of the other kids. If he falls enough behind, maybe he doesn't make all-stars, maybe he does, but he doesn't get to play the position he wants, bats lower in the lineup, etc. He wants to try lacrosse, no dice, it's in the spring and good luck ever recovering from missing a whole regular season. This isn't even touching on maintaining some kind of a balance with school and just being a kid.
My daughter's life is shaping up the same way. Soccer is now played literally year round even in the northeast. We play spring and fall seasons, indoor in the winter and there are clinics in the summer. We don't even seek out these things, they are pushed on us by eager coaches who want to keep pushing her development.
In both of their cases they LOVE the sport they play. We just wish things weren't this insanely competitive at younger ages so that kids would have a chance to try different things without falling behind the rest of the kids in their main sport/activity. It seems the days of the sports rotation where you played a different sport in winter, spring, summer and fall are pretty much coming to an end. Now, you pick the one you love or are best at and play it year round.
It's much easier to manage if they are average or just like to play but aren't any good. However, once there is that spark of talent, it's all over. This doesn't even go for just sports either. Music is very much this way as well as many other activites.
Kids these days have a lot of activities they can do. Music class. Sports program. Fundraisers. Book drives. Spelling bees. Nature programs. etc, etc, etc. And then there are leisure activities.
How do you go about deciding which ones are the best for your kids and the ones to encourage your kids to be interested in?
So far, we've chosen the ones that we as parents are most interested in (as well as being ones that our kid is interested in). But there are a lot of things out there, more than what our kids can partake in, and we'll have to figure out how to pick and choose.
Which ones lead to lifetime benefits? Fitness, jobs, socializing for example.
Which ones are the least expensive?
Which ones do your kids really like?
Which ones do the other kids, your kids' peers like?
My oldest three girls are insane about All Star Cheer. Beyond insane. Every girl in the neighborhood is insane. If they aren't at cheer practices, they're stunting in the front yard or in the pool. If they're not doing that, they're on YouTube watching Cheer competitions.
It's never a bad idea to factor in time for a child - just to be a child. To dream, to engage in imaginative play ("let's pretend"), either alone or with other children. Unstructured time without adult-organized activities - especially competitive sports - is increasingly rare for today's children, and that's a shame.
Let your children watch ants, climb trees, wade in creeks, count the stars, build little "log cabins" out of stacked sticks (pebbles make furniture, moss makes carpet, strips of bark make roofing), dig holes, swing, slide, see-saw, play classic outdoor games - hide and seek, tag, statues, follow the leader, red rover - let them catch lightning bugs (and let them go), let them develop a sense of curiosity about the natural world around them, and occasionally, join in their explorations. Invite the neighbor kids to join in.
Have a lemonade stand. Help with a yard sale. Donate all or part of the profits to a good cause (Lemon-Aid is coming up in many cities).
Go camping or on day hikes. Explore the natural world. See what local parks offer for children and families. Follow up (and/or prepare) with related library books.
Build a campfire; roast marshmallows and sing and tell stories. If you can't get away, a small, inexpensive firepit in your own backyard works just fine. An overnight campout in the backyard may work as well. "Camp Backyard" can be a great place!
Nurture children's curiosity and interests by answering - and asking - questions, providing books, art supplies and other resources (avoid pre-fab "art" kits - stick with classic crayons, watercolors, paper, glue, yarn, modeling clay, etc.), unplug anything with a screen or earbuds, teach them songs you learned from Grandpa, share old family photos and tell the stories behind them, tell family stories about when you were a child, have grandparents and other older relatives do the same, and have the kids draw pictures to illustrate the stories. Read children's books set in the past. Read them aloud, together, and talk about them. Travel to places where ancestors and other older relatives lived (or still live), learn about the constellations and the myths associated with them, make handshadows to cast upon the wall, add a rope-and-board swing to the backyard if you have an appropriate tree - these things are far more precious than starring in Little League or Youth Soccer at a tender age.
these things are far more precious than starring in Little League or Youth Soccer at a tender age.
I don't disagree with the importance of what you are saying. However, time is a precious commodity. We have found that in order to have the quality family time and the time for the kids to just be kids, we have basically been forced to specialize them into one activity that they are passionate about and excel at. I have no illusions that my daughter is going to be the next Mia Hamm or my son is going to be the next Derek Jeter. Maybe they will, maybe they won't, I'm not losing sleep over it either way.
What I have noticed has changed since when I was a child is that activities, but in particular sports are now year-round. You no longer play soccer/football in the fall, play basketball/wrestle in the winter, play baseball/lacrosse in the spring and swim in the summer. Virtually every sport requires a year round dedication to be competitive at it.
So, it's not that we are losing the quality family time and things that make childhood special, but that we are losing the diversity of experience unless we want to give up on being competitive and/or lose that quality time. In terms of losing the competitive edge, it's hard to convince your child to stop when their friends, coaches, etc. are all stuck in this same rotation. Then you have to face the reality that if you do stop, your child will fall behind and have to play catch-up. For my son missing too much baseball to try something else would probably mean he is no longer going to be the starting first baseman which is something he loves.
The mistake that people not in this situation make is assuming that I am pushing my kids to do these things in some sort of extraordinary way. I'm actually pretty relaxed compared to many people with kids at the same level and therein lies the problem. This kind of specialization and emphasis is now normal for kids who are good at sports and other things. Twenty years ago this wasn't the case and I wish it wasn't now. However, what choice do you have?
That's unfortunate that sports or organized this way at such a young age. I guess until parents stop letting their kids do it alk year round, there will always be the pull on tge children. Our kid has only been going to preschool a few weeks and is already labeled really advanced, very, very smart but we still take him only 3 days a week ... bc he is 2. Sometimes as a parent you have to carve out time for your child to do other things that YOU know r important- nomatter what everyone else thinks about making ur kid competitive. That applies inthe sports arena, academic arena, u name it. Food for thought. If all of my kid's friends were playingsports allyear round andi wanted my kid to be more well-rounded i'd intro him to some kids that were not doing sports yearround.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NJGOAT
I don't disagree with the importance of what you are saying. However, time is a precious commodity. We have found that in order to have the quality family time and the time for the kids to just be kids, we have basically been forced to specialize them into one activity that they are passionate about and excel at. I have no illusions that my daughter is going to be the next Mia Hamm or my son is going to be the next Derek Jeter. Maybe they will, maybe they won't, I'm not losing sleep over it either way.
What I have noticed has changed since when I was a child is that activities, but in particular sports are now year-round. You no longer play soccer/football in the fall, play basketball/wrestle in the winter, play baseball/lacrosse in the spring and swim in the summer. Virtually every sport requires a year round dedication to be competitive at it.
So, it's not that we are losing the quality family time and things that make childhood special, but that we are losing the diversity of experience unless we want to give up on being competitive and/or lose that quality time. In terms of losing the competitive edge, it's hard to convince your child to stop when their friends, coaches, etc. are all stuck in this same rotation. Then you have to face the reality that if you do stop, your child will fall behind and have to play catch-up. For my son missing too much baseball to try something else would probably mean he is no longer going to be the starting first baseman which is something he loves.
The mistake that people not in this situation make is assuming that I am pushing my kids to do these things in some sort of extraordinary way. I'm actually pretty relaxed compared to many people with kids at the same level and therein lies the problem. This kind of specialization and emphasis is now normal for kids who are good at sports and other things. Twenty years ago this wasn't the case and I wish it wasn't now. However, what choice do you have?
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