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When our kids were that age it was still assumed that you would drop the kids off and leave and that the hosting parents would arrange for enough eyes if needed. We never assumed parents would stay at a child's birthday party.
Hmm. I never assumed parents would stay, even at that age. Of course, some always did which was fine, but there was no universal expectation that parents needed to be there- unless stated on the invite. I wouldn't invite kids over for a playdate at my home and expect their parents to stay to supervise, and I feel similar about birthday parties. But with that being said, I never invited that many kids to a birthday party unless I knew I had adequate supervision. 17 seems like a lot!
And from what I remember, usually those bounce house type places provide a few workers to keep an eye on everyone.
Well, I'll preface this by saying I would never invite 17 kids to a 5 year old's BD party, so....
For our kids' 5th BDs, they invited 5 friends, and yes, the guests were dropped off by the parents.
No problem watching them.
That is the norm here.
I would never expect a parent, yet alone a sibling, to crash the party.
I have heard of that as a rule of thumb--invite the number of kids that is the same number as the kid's age. While some parents always stuck around, I wouldn't expect parents to stay for a kid's birthday party. Then again, that could vary with the age of the kid. Sending along an uninvited sibling is just rude.
Personally, I would stay at the party if my child was 8 or younger. Last year we attended a birthday party at Pump It Up where a young boy attending the party broke his arm. His Mom had dropped him off and went shopping. It was left up to me and several other Moms to try to reach his mother and tell her what happened while the staff cared for him and called an ambulance. Mom didn't make it in time and he went to the hospital with another parent. The poor little guy was so upset!
If a party comes up and my husband cannot watch our other two, then the invited child needs to miss the party or I'll go ahead and pay for my other kids to be admitted. I never assume that it's a "Drop Off" unless specifically told so by the birthday boy/girl's parents. If this is a school peer, it's a great time to get to know the other parents, work out car pools, etc. I do think it's a stretch to assume that a 5 year old's party is a drop off event.
Personally, I would stay at the party if my child was 8 or younger. Last year we attended a birthday party at Pump It Up where a young boy attending the party broke his arm. His Mom had dropped him off and went shopping. It was left up to me and several other Moms to try to reach his mother and tell her what happened while the staff cared for him and called an ambulance. Mom didn't make it in time and he went to the hospital with another parent. The poor little guy was so upset!
If a party comes up and my husband cannot watch our other two, then the invited child needs to miss the party or I'll go ahead and pay for my other kids to be admitted. I never assume that it's a "Drop Off" unless specifically told so by the birthday boy/girl's parents. If this is a school peer, it's a great time to get to know the other parents, work out car pools, etc. I do think it's a stretch to assume that a 5 year old's party is a drop off event.
We have 4 yr old twins and an 8 yr old...and our 8 yr old had his birthday at one of those bouncy houses/trampoline places.... at this place you pay for 10 kids to play for 1 hour, then have a room for birthday cake, presents, etc.
My take is, yes 17 is a bit too many for such an event, and we never expected parents to hang around except those whom we are already friends with. But certainly nice when they did. Now at this bouncy house place, I assume there is supervision already from a worker of the place during the bouncy house time so hopefully that will ease the pressure some on the supervision part.
No one I know invites one child per year of age anymore. And 5 might be old enough to drop off at a house party, but not one of those bounce places. There are going to be a lot of kids there and when 2 of them knock heads, a parent should be there not the bounce house people or the party hosts. OP I think the parents mentioning how excited they were were feeling you out to see if you're going to let them leave.
When my kids were growing up (they're 12 years apart), the "child's age plus one" number of guests was the rule with everyone we knew. It worked very well with the first one and so we did it with the second.
When they were VERY young we had birthday parties for them that included all of the parents - the invitation was extended to the children and their parents and we had refreshments for little ones and for adults. So the parents didn't feel like they were hanging around at a kids party but were attending a party themselves, and all parents were available to keep an eye on things.
Dropping off and running should be done with express permission of the host, not assumed.
My daughter is 7 and most of the time I still stay with her at parties. The only exception is if it specifies on the invitation that it is a "drop-off" party, or if the host specifically tells me that when we arrive.
I did have one time when I asked another girl's mom to bring my kid with them to the party and keep an eye on her, otherwise my daughter would not have been able to go, so in that case the other mom agreed to be there for my kid and hers. I also cleared this with the host before-hand.
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