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I don't think it is about friendship or discipline. Parents are scared of their kids. They have no confidence that in the absence of actual evidence to the contrary, they are perfectly healthy. They have no confidence that their kids are capable to live in this world. The world has to be made happy pink and perfect for the precious snowflake. Poor snowflake doesn't LIKE her green beans. Parents who think this way are not doing their kids any favors.
I think you're stretching it with the "precious snowflake" comment. There are many parents, especially new parents, who get concerned when their young child refuses to eat. Often times this happens when the child is a toddler. It has nothing to do with parents "handing over the power." They are concerned that their child will starve (even though biologically yes, people will eat eventually). They also think maybe one day the kid would grow of it. Maybe they don't want to battle over food every single time...maybe their line in the sand is something else. To say that the child totally runs the show because they allowed picky behaviour to continue is crazy. My husband to this day is still picky and will not eat a slew of things. When I was younger, I hated fish. My grandmother tried to "make" me eat it, and sure, I'd take that requisite "bite", but I never truly ate it. Inevitably down the road she gave up as it was just wasting money since I never ate more than one capitulatory bite. It just wasn't worth the hassle in the overall picture. But she did dig in her heels with plenty of other things.
Even though a person eating only chicken nuggets is a case of the extreme.
I think you're stretching it with the "precious snowflake" comment. There are many parents, especially new parents, who get concerned when their young child refuses to eat. Often times this happens when the child is a toddler. It has nothing to do with parents "handing over the power." They are concerned that their child will starve (even though biologically yes, people will eat eventually). They also think maybe one day the kid would grow of it. Maybe they don't want to battle over food every single time...maybe their line in the sand is something else. To say that the child totally runs the show because they allowed picky behaviour to continue is crazy.
Since I never said that the kid "totally runs the show", I am not sure what that is about. The bottom line is that allowing your child's pickiness to determine the meal time plan is just plain not good for anyone, least of all the kid. While I might be sympathetic to someone who worries under real failure to thrive situations, I have a hard time with a parent who has so little knowledge of biology that they think their kid is going to starve over their pediatrician's certain objections. Time to have more kids so you can lighten up and get over yourself. (Just kidding.)
But it does speak to my point about being afraid of the kids and parents lacking basic confidence in their children. So perhaps that was the point you were trying to make.
Quote:
My husband to this day is still picky and will not eat a slew of things. When I was younger, I hated fish. My grandmother tried to "make" me eat it, and sure, I'd take that requisite "bite", but I never truly ate it.
Inevitably down the road she gave up as it was just wasting money since I never ate more than one capitulatory bite. It just wasn't worth the hassle in the overall picture. But she did dig in her heels with plenty of other things.
Even though a person eating only chicken nuggets is a case of the extreme.
Of course you realize that I don't advocate your grandmother's misguided attempt any more than the capitulation. I also think digging in one's heels is sort of dumb and almost never effective.
It's called, make dinner, offer it, if they don't eat, they go to bed without dinner or snack. Quite simple. They won't starve themselves.
As long as the parents are required to offer and eat foods the kids like but parents don't. We never had peas or orange juice because my mother hated them. I liked peas and orange juice, so I only had them when we went out to dinner and they were part of my meal. I never understood why I was forced to eat things I didn't like but she wasn't. It's just another way adults control children because they can impose their will on them.
I insisted my son take one bite of a new food, but if he really didn't like it, I didn't force him to eat it. I spent hours at the table one night choking down Brussels sprouts and I still resent being forced to eat. What was the point? I love Brussels sprouts NOW, but children have different tastes than they do as adults, and it took me years to try them again - long after I probably would have liked them if I didn't have such a revolting association to them.
As long as the parents are required to offer and eat foods the kids like but parents don't. We never had peas or orange juice because my mother hated them. I liked peas and orange juice, so I only had them when we went out to dinner and they were part of my meal. I never understood why I was forced to eat things I didn't like but she wasn't. It's just another way adults control children because they can impose their will on them.
Amen to this. And you know, it is just kind and considerate. I hate red beans and rice for all I am worth. But DH loves it. It is easy and frugal. I make it regularly. I eat one polite portion. And consider it my weight watching meal of the day.
Since I never said that the kid "totally runs the show", I am not sure what that is about. The bottom line is that allowing your child's pickiness to determine the meal time plan is just plain not good for anyone, least of all the kid. While I might be sympathetic to someone who worries under real failure to thrive situations, I have a hard time with a parent who has so little knowledge of biology that they think their kid is going to starve over their pediatrician's certain objections. Time to have more kids so you can lighten up and get over yourself. (Just kidding.)
But it does speak to my point about being afraid of the kids and parents lacking basic confidence in their children. So perhaps that was the point you were trying to make.
Of course you realize that I don't advocate your grandmother's misguided attempt any more than the capitulation. I also think digging in one's heels is sort of dumb and almost never effective.
I think the point I was making was rather clear. Whether you have sympathy or not is your prerogative, which ultimately doesn't matter any more than my feelings on the subject. I simply stated why some parents (especially new parents) feel the way they feel when confronted with a picky eater. If you don't agree with me, fine. I'm not hear to win any online points and it's just gonna be the usual back and forth. And many new parents might not have that confidence and if they earn your derision, then so be it. Que sera sera.
So, the Chicken Nuggets were crawling into the daughter's window at night? For free? Hopping into the kitchen via the doggy door? Because my understanding of the mechanics of Chicken Nugget/Human Interaction is that the Nuggets have to both be purchased with money, and transported by Humans, in order to get into a home.
I mean, there was a glaringly simple solution to the Nugget Dilemma.
you know... it's easy to judge when you don't know the story behind how it started. Now yes, chicken nuggets only diet is extreme, but speaking from my own experience I can understand how you get into the rut. My son had many sensory issues (he's a special needs/adhd child). Whenever I tried to get him (forced him) to eat a green vegetable or other foods that didn't look or smell good to him, I would end up with vomit on my walls (projectile vomiting). Once he didn't like the look of the meal I was eating in a restaurant and barfed on my food. THAT dish was ruined for ever for me!!!
So..... long story short, don't be so quick to judge others. On the plus side, his diet isn't severely restricted so he's okay now (no green veggies other than pickles however)
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