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In light of the terrible tragedy that occurred in New York today, it makes you wonder is there really anyone you can truly trust with something as precious as your children? This nanny was apparently very close to the family and I'm sure the parents felt the children were in good hands for this reason. Thoughts?
Having employed a nanny, been a nanny to several families, and worked for an organization that sees every type of child abuse case you can/and cannot imagine, my views on this are layered and tend to fall on the more cautious side of the coin.
That said, I trusted our last nanny more than any family member. (Our family has a closer relationship with her than the majority of our relatives even though now she lives in a different state.) But I also evaluate caregivers in a different manner than most would because of what I've been exposed to through my work.
Nonetheless, the only human action and reaction you can be sure of is your own.
It is hard to say anything until more information is released. What I have seen so far has been very vague. I haven't seen anything that says why she did it.
Most people trust that their children are safe with the mother and father. However, we keep seeing stories about a parent killing their kids. There was one in my town just a few weeks ago where Dad came home and saw that Mom had killed their 2 kids and then herself. He had no idea she was thinking about doing that. Most people trust their kids are safe with Grandma. There was a story recently about a grandma who killed her granddaughter because she was jealous. I am sure I can find stories about aunts and uncles, cousins, family friends, teachers, police officers, and every other "trusted" members of society.
Nothing and no one is guaranteed to be safe. I just have to go with my instincts and hope that nothing like this happens in my family. I can't put my family in a bubble fearing everyone out there. Life is not worth living that way.
I also had a wonderful nanny for my kids...she was part of our family. Her own kids were grown, she was the greatest person ever. We are still friends...this situation is unthinkable to me. I don't blame the parents. Beyond sad.
But, I often wonder about income disparity and SES...in my case, it was really more like a woman who was bored and loved kids who helped me out. I was not wealthy at all...but I wonder about a nanny, working for rich folks...maybe, it was an issue for her...
I was very fortunate and was able to stay home with my kids with my mother doing most of the babysitting when needed. I had a few other people in the early years of my first born, friends or friends of friends, but even though there were no problems I was less comfortable leaving my kids with anyone once I had my second. I think I trusted other people more, people who were already moms and knew what they were doing, when I was a new parent and unsure of myself. As I gained confidence I stopped trusting so much.
That said, I don't see "danger" in nannies or babysitters on the whole but since I don't personally feel comfortable being responsible for anyone else's children I had a hard time letting anyone else be responsible for mine.
Directed towards the OP…
Not a lot of folks I will tell you that.
I can name on one hand who I TRUSTED my son with when he was little ( He is 15 now)
My parents , my mother in law as hideous as she was I knew she loved my son and my sister..THERE is the roster…
I don't have children but I'll speak on what my grandmother did. My grandmom use to live next to a woman who recently turned 98. She would always have her babysit her children. I think an older, well respected neighbor if no other family member is avaible is the best person to trust.
Who could have imagined this. It's a freak accident. I don't think much could be done nor does it reflect most situations. I really feel for the parents and sib. What a shame.
I wouldn't look at this case and decide an outcome for child care. This is like choking on a walnut at Thanksgiving. A freak occurrence. This lady could have easily just shot into a daycare at random or a post office. Just off her rocker. The only lesson learned is some of us are crazy.
The only people I ever trusted with my kids were my parents, and my sisters. At one point I had to hire someone because everyone was working. My sister used to drive by on her lunch hour to check on the kids (they were little at that time) and found they were in the front yard by themselves eating dog dirt! Not like I didn't give her enough food for the kids, etc. She was on the phone and getting high! That was the LAST time they were with anyone but family, and if they were sick, I stayed home with them.
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